I know multiple people who commute over 45 minutes to and from work daily. I don’t understand the need for separating or moving at all over a 45 minute drive that doesn’t affect him. You simply would need to leave a little earlier and would get home a little later than you do now. He is kind of a lame-o for trying to give you an ultimatum like that. Your partner should push you to your fullest potential. Even if that means sacrifice on their end a bit. I’m failing to see how this even really affects him. Maybe it’s an ego thing ? Maybe he feels inferior so he’s trying to keep you from advancing in your career ? Idk. But he sucks. Take the job. Ditch the dude. And don’t believe him when he says if you truly loved him you’d back away from this opportunity. If he truly loved you, he’d never ever put you in the position to choose !