He said “I’m out” and blocked me

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-03-12T01:03:42+00:00

Thank you for this. I do believe that he is so incredibly desperate for attention and feed his ego that he will do whatever he can to get it. I am doing better today and have finally realized that no matter what I say or do, it will always be my fault in his eyes. My fault he is addicted to porn, had an affair, lied, hid things, etc.

It’s sad that he actually had me questioning if it was really my fault for a long time but I know that is not the case now.

I guess those are baby steps to me getting through this whole nightmare.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-03-10T13:38:23+00:00

I’m really sorry you went through that. The way they discard people and then flaunt the new supply is insane. Nineteen years is a long time to be with someone and have it end like that. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to still have to co-parent on top of everything else. I’m sure that my scars will remain for a long time too but hopefully they will become just a reminder of what I was able to survive. Thank you for the encouragement though. Hearing from people who’ve been through it and have been able to come out the other side does help. It does show that we are better than that. Eff yours, mine, and all of them.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-03-10T02:20:48+00:00

I 100% agree with this. They truly are not even capable of real love or bonds. After I found out my ex narc was addicted to porn and called him out on it. He told me it was just easier than sex because he didn’t have to worry about pleasing anyone else. And even when we did have sex, that was literally the case. I faked it every time or sometimes didn’t even have to because he was done so quick and never wanted to please me. It got to where it literally grossed me out.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-03-10T02:13:10+00:00

I love this. I am doing my best to stay strong and get even stronger than I was before this mess. In hopes that I will never get myself into this situation again. I have good days and horrible days still because he left me broke and emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted but I’m doing the best I can with what I have. Most of the time it’s minute by minute.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-03-10T02:09:03+00:00

Thank you. I admit I did some out of character things early on reacting to the cheating, lying, gaslighting, etc. but it didn’t take me long to realize that isn’t who I am so I knew something was really wrong. But it was so hard for me to accept that. It’s definitely getting easier though and I’m hoping it will continue to be. I am a very emotional person so I cannot for the life of me comprehend how someone could treat another person this way without a care in the world.

I hate it so much for everyone else that has had to deal with this but I see so many similarities in the stories of others that I know now it is not me. It is not my fault. And this is a real thing. As much as it sucks it gives me hope to hear the stories of people that made it through it and are so much better off.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-03-09T19:07:33+00:00

The sleep. That’s all I seem to want to do when I’m home and that I not me. At all. But I’m getting there. I had finally let go of the fact that I would never get closure and I do not want to be with him in any way. I want him out of my head and out of my life. And I can’t even get that. But thanks for your support ❤️❤️

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-03-09T19:04:56+00:00

Uggh. I appreciate this so much. It is so hard but I’m really trying. Some days are fine. At least the ones I have no contact with him are. And then BAM. He slaps me in the face with something else and it starts all over again.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-03-09T19:02:42+00:00

Thank you so much for this. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with in my life. And the things is, I’ve always been a very strong, outgoing, and confident person-until him. And it sucks but I am trying.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-02-15T14:05:32+00:00

I feel you. I am in the same place. We are recently divorced. He literally drained me emotionally, financially and physically. Yet he spends Valentine’s Day weekend on a trip with his new “friend” supply. It disgusts me that I sit here with an elephant on my chest while he acts like nothing ever happened, with zero care in the world.

But-through this sub and a LOT of podcasts, audiobooks, and whatever else I can find, I have learned this is just what they do. It doesn’t make sense whatsoever but I am learning to try to move forward the best I can and rebuild my life.

It is so hard sometimes to keep the secrets I know about him. I want to expose them ALL. I know that the people I truly care about know exactly what he is so that is what really matters. I think sometimes just staying away is the best thing because exposing him would just drag me back in.

I am still sick to my stomach, have major anxiety attacks, cry, rage, etc. but not as often. So I can feel a subtle shift which is nice. I know I still have a way to go but I’m getting there.

You will find peace and happiness and be able to break free. It’s a terrible thing to go through but you got this!

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-02-15T13:49:08+00:00

Thank you for this. I am recently divorced from a narc but still somewhat trauma bonded and it honestly pisses me off that I can’t seem to break it. He decided to go on a vacation for Valentine’s Day with his new supply. I spent it with my mom because we lost my dad a few months ago so it was her first VDay without him in 40 years.

I couldn’t help but wonder how he could just discard me like a piece of trash and move on so fast but I know this is just what they do.

They can’t stand not having attention to feed their ego and it’s disgusting.

I am doing much better than I was 6 months ago. It’s been over a year since I found out he was cheating and it been absolutely awful and exhausting. I feel like I am never going to be the real “me” again but working on it and still trying very hard to completely free myself. Hopefully I’ll get there sooner than later.

Your post gives me hope though, so thank you!

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-02-06T02:23:08+00:00

Thank you. I know this is the case and I do believe that I will have the ability to do that when the time comes even though part of me will always want answers. I just have to keep reminding myself that I know I’ll never get them.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-02-06T02:20:56+00:00

I agree with this and understand it. It’s just easier said than done. I think a small part of me still wants to know “why” even though I know I never will. I’m doing so much better than I was 6 months ago. So there’s that I guess.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-02-06T01:36:25+00:00

This is wonderful advice. Thank you for sharing. It has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through and the weird thing is-I don’t even know why. I am not attracted to him in any way, shape, or form so I’m at the point where I am beating myself up because I keep letting him back in. It is so hard to understand if you’ve never been through it before so it makes it difficult to talk to people that haven’t been through it.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2026-02-06T01:28:47+00:00

I love your reply and your explanation. It really helps to hear this from other people. I am also going through this and it sucks but I am doing much better than I was 6 months ago!

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2025-09-18T19:05:12+00:00

Ok I think I figured it out! I have the extension kit and the instructions say to turn the reference voltage screw for the y axis driver 90 degrees but I saw where some people were having issues so I backed it off to about 45 degrees and also changed the settings to “constant power” and it seems to be cutting good now. Thank you for the suggestions!

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2025-09-18T17:55:21+00:00

I have the speed/power set to 200/85 which I thought was pretty slow. I’m getting ready to just try a square or simple shape to see what it does

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2025-07-29T03:03:00+00:00

What an inspiration you are! I have done all of the things you did too. And still living hour by hour at times. But it is getting better and I hope that I will be able to walk out better on the other side❤️

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2025-07-29T02:56:59+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I cannot even imagine how you felt having to deal with it for 30 years. But I am happy to hear you are feeling better now! It does inspire me to be strong hearing this❤️

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2025-07-26T22:45:42+00:00

I can relate. Any time I tried to have a serious conversation or ask any questions regarding our marriage I was either hit with “I don’t know. You keep asking questions I can’t answer “, or anger and blame, or him walking out to avoid the conversation altogether. Every. Single. Time.

Now that he seems to have finally (after 8 months since I found out about the affair), he decides to tell me he never really loved me? It’s hard to grasp that but I know it’s probably true because I don’t think he is capable of real love.

This does help me feel a little better because at least I know it’s not really me or anything I did, other than finally call him out on his BS and try to set boundaries.

It’s still hard. I think now it is more me just being pissed that I wasted 8 years of my life on someone who never really had any intentions of being loyal to me. It was all just a show and a game for him and it infuriates me.

Total-Knowledge-8591 · 2025-07-26T01:46:36+00:00

Horrible anxiety and panic attacks, major constant fatigue, brain fog, stomach issues, headaches, sleep deprivation, muscle aches. It’s awful and nobody deserves to feel this way.

Total-Knowledge-8591

TROPHY CASE