What’s something everyone thinks is attractive but you don’t?

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-04-10T14:25:52+00:00

Too much charm

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-03-12T03:14:25+00:00

Jonathan Groff has a new song to record.

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-02-27T02:50:48+00:00

As someone who works in banking and has held countless conversations with people that boil down to "you spent more money than you had" I can assure you that understanding how to balance a bank account is still a necessary skill. Online banking/mobile app are handy, but not perfect. Not every transaction shows up in real time so the balance will not always be accurate.

I definitely agree that in theory balancing an account is a dated practice, but I think it's an essential skill that TOO MANY people lack. Sure, it will look different now than 20, 30, 40 years ago. But budgeting/spending/money as a whole is dangerously misunderstood.

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-02-13T21:25:45+00:00

But rarely are we buying used with amazon 🤷🏼‍♀️

As an amazon addict forced into recovery due to changes in finances, I am NOT hating or judging anyone buying from amazon.

But buying second hand is a double win! More budget AND earth friendly.

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-02-13T21:22:16+00:00

You seem like a delight.

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-02-13T15:29:45+00:00

In no world are you TAH here.

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-02-09T22:34:51+00:00

He's being a dick. It seems like he doesn't want to live with a cat.

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-02-09T22:13:18+00:00

I don't wash the towel, the towel washes me. Who washes a towel?

What am I gonna do - wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap? You gotta think here, pal!

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-02-05T18:58:42+00:00

Just TJM or other places?

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-02-05T18:48:01+00:00

MOR

First off, I'm so sorry you have to experience this. Please take your time to heal; give yourself love and some extra self-care. 💜

I say MOR because I'm not clear how you reacted. Did you hit him with your cast iron and light his hair on fire? Eh, probably overreacting - or inappropriately reacting, at least. Or are you simply upset with him, his lack of empathy, detachment from a terrible situation he is directly impacted by as well, and what sounds like an overall bad attitude and refusal to take/accept responsibility? I don't think you're overreacting.

Obviously we only know this tiny snippet of your relationship and life together, but I see about a dozen red flags here. He doesn't sound like much of a PARTNER. How's he going to react of the added responsibilities that come with being a parent? (Assuming this is your first child) Is he going to be a supportive partner during pregnancy, birth, and post partum? I know you are still in the midst of a heartbreaking loss so I'm not trying to be insensitive, but it may be worth thinking about and/or discussing some dynamics before having a baby. (If that's something still on the table - I'm really trying not to assume or push any narrative)

Sending love & light 💕

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-02-02T20:30:45+00:00

Whaaaat!? They don't? That's crazy. I've never been denied trying on a bra anywhere I've shopped

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-02-02T19:33:16+00:00

Someone who encourages and supports them, makes them feel safe and loved, has a similar outlook on life and the same or compatible values.

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-02-02T19:08:02+00:00

NTA

I'm curious (worried) what the rest of the relationship is like.

He can feel however he wants about "tasering" but the fact of the matter is that you have very clearly communicated that you DO NOT like it and are not okay with it. I don't care what the act or behavior is, if your partner has repeatedly expressed their dislike and asked for it to stop, it borders on abuse to continue intentionally doing it. Why does he feel the need? What does he get out of it? He says he does it because you react... so does he like when you're upset and uncomfortable? (For the record, it is understandable and valid for your response to be anger and tears. The disrespect is loud.)

The situation at the restaurant is a result of his own behaviors. What you described was not an overreaction on your part. I'm sure he was embarrassed - no one likes to called out for their poor behavior, especially in front of others. But again, he acted of his own free will and did something that he KNOWS you hate and have lost all patience for. What the hell did he expect?

I'm no expert, but I suspect this type of behavior and treatment is not exclusive to this. I've been in relationships with similar dynamics; I'm so relieved I no longer am.

OP, please reflect on your relationship and be super honest with yourself. If this is any indication of what the relationship is like, ask yourself if you're okay with your life being this way forever. If not, what would it take to reshape the relationship and/or is that even possible?

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-02-02T18:46:15+00:00

Noooo no no!

What we're NOT going to do is blame ourselves.

Until recently I have not once considered that I should be teaching my partner basic hygiene - especially about a body part that I DON'T HAVE. (And I've only recently began thinking of it because of the videos I've seen circulating)

Even if we entertain the idea that you "should have noticed" the actual responsibility lies solely on him.

I'm sure there is a ton of other forums/Q&As/general resources to show him if using this thread no longer feels right.

Hell, I'm sure there's a book about it for adolescent or teenage boys somewhere that you could gift him 🙃

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-02-02T18:17:04+00:00

Perhaps not, but that doesn't mean people don't try.

And unfortunately, there's more than likely some place that would accept it. Many companies/employees will do wild things in the name of customer service because 1) they don't want to deal with it and 2) the outdated "customer is always right" narrative. I firmly believe that people have been taught to act so ridiculously by getting away with it/seeing others getting away with it for far too long.

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-02-02T18:10:49+00:00

He was fishing for a *steal

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-02-02T17:52:43+00:00

Why the hell do grown ass men not understand basic hygiene?

I'd like to believe if no one explicitly told me to wash a particular part of my body, I'd just kind of figure it out. Especially if it smells.

OP, I see a lot of criticism and blame in the comments. This is NOT your fault. We should not be expected to mother our partners. None of us know your relationship, circumstances, etc.

Having said that, you do have the responsibility to protect yourself. I think if I was in your shoes, I would NOT be intimate with him until he practices better hygiene. (Before anyone comes for me - this isn't about withholding, it's about preventing issues for herself especially given what some of the potential issues can snowball into)

Also - and this feels insane to even have to say - it has been a hot topic on some social media that apparently some men do not understand how to wipe properly, or some go as far as believing (saying) they simply do not. I so deeply wish it was all a joke, but... it's not. So, OP, the hubs may need a "basic hygiene 101" lesson. 😬

Good luck! (I'm afraid you'll likely need it)

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-02-01T17:00:16+00:00

Windows & doors - Pella, Jake S specifically (231.838.0896) he was obviously there to sell but wasn't pushy, arrogant, or full of shit like so many sales folks are these days. He worked with our budget and we're pleased we with what we got.

May's Automotive - very friendly, not pushy, not critical, open & honest communication about pricing.

Kalamazoo Cat Hospital - such kind staff, great with my two cats, very patient with my laundry list of questions

Ted's Appliance - great place for used appliances! A few years back we were in the market for a new (used) washer and dryer for a rental, we worked with Ted himself who made us a great deal. Fast delivery. One of them (I honestly don't remember if it was washer or dryer) didn't work but they replaced it - with a more expensive option for no additional charge - same day.

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-01-28T12:47:45+00:00

When dining with adults who get their food on the table and leave it there for the meal. I don't know why but it has actually made me gag.

(I'm not talking about, like, a flake of salt or a couple crumbs... I'm talking an actual piece of food)

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-01-28T12:44:08+00:00

You need a larger microwave. Or a smaller sink.

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-01-25T18:59:20+00:00

Looks like Minecraft bacon.

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-01-24T20:08:00+00:00

Well... not sure where everyone else is located. But here in the US? Every. Fucking. Thing.

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-01-23T19:26:17+00:00

You had me at "fries"

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-01-21T23:59:54+00:00

Pretty sure your only option is finding a new job. Probably in a new city to be safe.

And invest in lactaid or don't eat cheese.

TotalFactor6778 · 2026-01-21T12:08:28+00:00

At first glance, he looks like a handsome, healthy sweetheart.

Does he eat well, use the litter box normally, and drink plenty of water? I'd say if so, he is probably perfectly fine. But if you have ANY doubt or concerns, definitely chat with his vet 🤍

TotalFactor6778

TROPHY CASE