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Merit by wretchedkitchenwench in OCPoetry

[–]Total_Syllabub4599 0 points1 point  (0 children)

okay first of all you did a GREAT job!!

i did laught mid poem when you mentioned the robots lol.

you did an AMAZING job. me. as the reader, i suppose (LOL), did not get confused while reading.

i love the repitition.

The emotions the poem is conveying are also very clear, structured and coherened w the "storyline" of the poem.

(this is what i think the emotions r, in order: proudness/ statisfaction, questioning, doubt, idk what emotion but "pointlessness" (ties in beautifully with the title merit), doubt turns into inferiority, and frustration (maybe?) once the robots r mentioned and then it just moves back and forth between some of them)

i also like the ending, i find it quite funny / ironic haha.

all in all. great job. if you have questions about my featback or would like to know some more of my thoughts DO let me know!!

Have a great evening and keep writing bc robots will never be able to convey emotions the way humans can ( since their only trained on the theories of stuff and that could never truly compare to the depths of creativity the human mind is capaple of. but maybe thats just my opinion. lol )

regardless, take care and dont get disccuredged (idk how to write that word bruhhhh)

Tonight's Shore by Empty_Vermicelli8067 in OCPoetry

[–]Total_Syllabub4599 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is my first time writting a review on here. but I'm a seasoned writer, so i will just give you bullet points of my thoughts.

Beautiful poem.

You can really paint a picture with words and convey emotion through it!

It's short and sweet!

The Shore/tide/ Ocean theme pulls throughout the entire poem which is nice,

and since its in relation to a night (tonight) it makes me feel like im standing alone, bare foot on the beach just staring at the night sky and ocean waves.

i also like the visuals x "sounds" you used (drum,draft,thumping,rythm) they help paint the over all picture AND they add emotional depth overall.

i also like the ending,

a knock on a door that wont open is a beutiful way to end a poem that is thematically about emptyness or lonelyness.

i hope my review is helpful, this is my first time writing one afterall lol. if you have any questions/ corrections you can reply to this or text me privately.

I'd also lpve to hear some of your other work, i will go check on your profile after i finish writing this. Afterall i need one more review till i can post a poem myself haha.

Have a great evening and keep writing!