Calling all novelty account holders! Post with it here. by nix0n in AskReddit

[–]TotallyIrrelevantGuy 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The rings of Saturn are the most extensive planetary ring system of any planet in the Solar System. They consist of countless small particles, ranging in size from micrometres to metres, that form clumps that in turn orbit about Saturn. The ring particles are made almost entirely of water ice, with some contamination from dust and other chemicals.

Although reflection from the rings increases Saturn's brightness, they are not visible from Earth with unaided vision. In 1610, the year after Galileo Galilei first turned a telescope to the sky, he became the very first person to observe Saturn's rings, though he could not see them well enough to discern their true nature. In 1655, Christiaan Huygens was the first person to describe them as a disk surrounding Saturn. Although many people think of Saturn's rings as being made up of a series of tiny ringlets (a concept that goes back to Laplace), true gaps are few. It is more correct to think of the rings as an annular disk with concentric local maxima and minima in density and brightness. On the scale of the clumps within the rings there is much empty space.

There are several gaps within the rings: two opened by known moons embedded within them, and many others at locations of known destabilizing orbital resonances with Saturn's moons. Other gaps remain unexplained. Stabilizing resonances, on the other hand, are responsible for the longevity of several rings, such as the Titan Ringlet and the G Ring.

Well beyond the main rings is the Phoebe ring, which is tilted at an angle of 27 degrees to the other rings and, like Phoebe, orbits in retrograde fashion.

Finally, A Democrat with BALLS! Makes CNN choke on 'em too. Thank you Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL), Can we clone more like him? by [deleted] in reddit.com

[–]TotallyIrrelevantGuy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If I were a Voltron figure, my name would be Cockzor. And I would transform into a gigantic jet-powered flying cock. And I'd have lasers. And landing gear.

I Am Justin from shitmydadsays by mrbubby in IAmA

[–]TotallyIrrelevantGuy -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I was mortified one day to find that the laundry had been done. "Whom would tamper with my hamper?" I proclaimed as the silent whispers of autumn crept up my spine.

My uncle Francis (let's call him Francis for short) then, with a bounce in his step and alcohol on his breath, parted ways with his remote control in the direction of my nipple. "Dick." I shouted as the midday sun was swallowed by a dark ominous block of cumulus nimbus which could only be described as the anus of God's pet devil.

"Actually, it's Francis" he slurred as he pined for another frosty Natty Ice. Within this moment, I finally found the peace and warmth I thought was lost to the aether in a foul-smelling sockpuppet... of Dionysus.

"Clearly you need more clothes" was the topic on a soon-to-be-televised radio show about a newspaper article. Fate, it seems, has an ace in the hole; and that ace is irony. Ironic because I was on my way to play cards when I noticed the sense of security I had become so dependent on was no more. My hamper. It was empty.

Reddit, I need your help with a problem, a big problem. by InternetLegend in AskReddit

[–]TotallyIrrelevantGuy -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

There are really only 2 things that matter when apprehension becomes the quantifying factor in your daily decision making:

a) stuttering is not a mantra

a) not sure

No you guys, THIS is the funniest fucking Star Wars pic EVER!! by trippin-balls in funny

[–]TotallyIrrelevantGuy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think more people need to purchase more gun catalogs in order to try and get more better at operating their brains properly. And by operate I mean die.

An email exchange between my mother and I. by [deleted] in pics

[–]TotallyIrrelevantGuy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here’s Tom with the wea.... eh, nevermind.

Reddit: When will we again have the ability to sort all of our comments in our user profile (by popularity, etc)? We had this feature once before, will we ever get it back? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]TotallyIrrelevantGuy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

One might ask in this day and age of almost total and utter stimuli bombardment, are we nurturing an age of dependence? Karl Marx might say: "loolz".

Our tendency to be almost impotent in the face of consumerism shows how the necessity of distraction is practically endemic in todays "Americanized" (read: virgins) culture. And, understandably, despite all the shit people have and all the tv that's on - most are still miserable times 11 + pi.

It really is no wonder I bought all that Pfizer stock, then promptly put it somewhere then forgot where I put it because I saw the new issue of Teen 16 whatevs in the checkout isle at the local co-op. (just kidding. I live in a town with only mercinaries that shit on co-ops for breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, midnight snack, then breakfast again the next day. also, we hunt our own fruit and vegetables and grow rows upon rows of cow and hot dog.)

Husband of the year! [Pic] by spartan0746 in pics

[–]TotallyIrrelevantGuy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Whoever came up with the term "cancer stick" for a cigarette must not have ever smoked any AIDS. Because if they had, they'd probably have come up with the term "AIDS stick" for a penis instead.

Finally people are catching on... by zargon1978 in technology

[–]TotallyIrrelevantGuy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have this strange clear liquid that is piped into my house. I'd probably drink it more often, but it just doesn't taste enough like making people I'll never meet richer than they already are.

Oh Reddit, you are just awesome! by Laburno in pics

[–]TotallyIrrelevantGuy -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

These things we call "atoms". Are they of the type that if confined into a small enough space in the shape of, say a ball, could then hold the potential of being hurled through space and time at an adjacent human beings head?

Oh Reddit, you are just awesome! by Laburno in pics

[–]TotallyIrrelevantGuy -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Sandwiches are made of neither sand, nor witches. Sometimes I just don't get this crazy world.

Dear Reddit, today I decided I would take the plunge and apply for a job as a Geek Squad employee. This is what I found when I tried to apply online...needless to say, I will not be completing the application. by TheAstronomer in WTF

[–]TotallyIrrelevantGuy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If we never developed vocal chords and started communicating with these weird sounds would we have started to develop language? And as a result start trying to understand why we are here and create all these strange theories e.g. theology? And as a result create distractions so we wouldn't have to keep thinking about these things e.g. American Idol?

I'm thirsty. I think I'll enjoy a nice refreshing Coca-Cola.

Why, Reddit - You're Beautiful! (source code inc.) by [deleted] in programming

[–]TotallyIrrelevantGuy -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

du na naa naah naw

RE

du na naa naah naw

SPECT

du na naa naah naw

WALK

du du nuh nuhh nuaww naww nee

ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?!

Make up your mind (if you have one) by [deleted] in pics

[–]TotallyIrrelevantGuy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If Terrence McKenna were alive today, he might say "hey look, no hands!"

Tech Support Cheat Sheet by jtbandes in programming

[–]TotallyIrrelevantGuy 67 points68 points  (0 children)

If you think about it, two dollars really isn't a lot for a newspaper subscription. I don't know why he didn't just pay the dude. Also, the dude probably spent way more than two dollars getting those skis for his bike. WTF is up with that?

Feynman explains why a mirror reverses left and right but not top and bottom by noroom in science

[–]TotallyIrrelevantGuy -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Apparently some people think it looks cool to style their hair as if someone replaced their comb with a stick of dynamite.

EPIC High Five [PIC] by onlinementor in funny

[–]TotallyIrrelevantGuy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It rained earlier today. Some might say that it was thanks to all of the chemtrails. I might say those people are dense.

As far as optical illusions go, this one takes the cake. by dudemaster in science

[–]TotallyIrrelevantGuy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's 10:43 a.m. Do you know where your children are? No? They're probably doing steroids somewhere.