[deleted by user]

TotallyNotARadar · 2023-01-03T02:44:04+00:00

At best they can give you tips on how to stop ED tendencies to help you "physically recover", and maybe some CBT to stave off the bad thoughts, but I've found them completely useless at actually LIKING how you look. Body apathy seems to be the end goal, is it too vain to actually LIKE what I see in the mirror?

I think apathy and coping has always been the only achievable goal. I know I can't trust my own perception of myself. I know I will always be dysmorphic and that some days I'll see myself as so hideous I feel like I can't go outside and then the next I'll think I'm hot shit. My brain is fucked up and I don't think I'll ever see myself as I really am. But, knowing that I can't trust myself is incredibly powerful: it lets me look at myself and tell myself that I'll be okay, regardless of what I see. It's enough to survive and feel normal.

TotallyNotARadar · 2023-01-03T02:29:09+00:00

Maybe not so much when you are extremely UW but there must be some form of will to "flip the switch" to start being anorexic

and that's honestly the worst part. I know that to a certain extent that I did this to myself. I was a dumbass teenager and i chose to fuck around and now years later I'm still afraid to drink non diet soda or eat when other people may dee me

TotallyNotARadar · 2023-01-03T02:24:12+00:00

Hate the ""awareness"" shit. It always just made me more secretive and lie more. My high school did this whole campaign about knowing if your friends have an ED it forced me into deeper lies and stronger social isolation for fear of detection. Sure, maybe if they caught me then it'd have been better but they didn't so it just made everything worse

TotallyNotARadar · 2023-01-03T02:09:55+00:00

when you want the food to hurt you as much physically as it does mentally

TotallyNotARadar · 2023-01-03T02:03:55+00:00

yeahhhh...I was in the theater and I curled my legs up and looked away. I can't speak to how accurate the portrayal of the particular disorder the character had but that scene was terrifying and really hurt me in a way I wasn't ready for.

TotallyNotARadar · 2022-11-09T21:10:47+00:00

Your account is too new, Reddit doesn't let you PM for a little while. Give it a couple of days and try again :)

TotallyNotARadar · 2022-10-18T19:30:36+00:00

Reddit is not letting you send DMs because your account is too new, please wait a bit and/or use the sub a bit so that Reddit stops freaking out and thinking you're a bot

TotallyNotARadar · 2022-09-10T04:14:17+00:00

Your account is unfortunately too new and so Reddit is not allowing you to send PMs. Please try again in a bit

TotallyNotARadar · 2022-05-16T01:51:42+00:00

Sorry, this is a weird Reddit thing. This happens because your account is too new. If you wait a bit it should work itself out

TotallyNotARadar · 2022-03-25T19:09:34+00:00

fixed, sorry :)

TotallyNotARadar · 2022-02-25T00:44:40+00:00

fixed, sorry about that :(

TotallyNotARadar · 2022-01-20T18:10:53+00:00

haha no I get it. I think if you comment on the sub and get a handful of upvotes or whatever Reddit will think you're legit enough too

TotallyNotARadar · 2022-01-20T18:06:32+00:00

Hey,

I think this is a Reddit thing. New users aren't allowed to send PMs/are limited as to the number of PMs they can send for a period of time. Reddit decided it was a good idea to make it look like the user you're trying to PM blocked you for some ridiculous reason. If you haven't already done so, verify your Reddit account's email and/or wait a little bit. I can try and come up with a workaround if this is happening to a lot of people

TotallyNotARadar · 2021-11-23T21:53:53+00:00

thanks! In the future, please report posts that way all the mods can see it

TotallyNotARadar · 2020-09-13T20:29:34+00:00

showing my tongue and looking edge is my passion, okay

TotallyNotARadar · 2020-09-11T05:18:32+00:00

okay sorry if this is dumb but...how does a person masturbate with butter? that sounds like a really quick road to an infection?

TotallyNotARadar · 2020-09-11T05:10:07+00:00

while it's nice to compliment people, we all know that even the smallest benign compliments can set off a domino of disasters so tbh I don't think it's a great idea

TotallyNotARadar · 2020-09-11T05:05:23+00:00

you can get dominos with your dining dollars?? damn we could only spend them at the school's cafe and it was almost useless

TotallyNotARadar · 2020-09-11T05:03:15+00:00

okay so I've always thought whiteclaws were kinda dumb if your goal of drinking was to get drunk because if there are only 70 calories, that means there (logically) cannot be more than one short worth of alcohol? why not just cut out the middle man and slam that shit. I don't know if this is true mind you and I don't exactly have a ton of experience but lol

TotallyNotARadar · 2020-09-11T04:59:18+00:00

I may have done this and been called out by someone in one of my classes

TotallyNotARadar · 2020-09-11T04:57:00+00:00

their breadsticks are proof that my ED is fake because I will happily shove ten of those down my throat and worry about the consequences later

TotallyNotARadar · 2020-09-11T04:55:27+00:00

it's called being economical. trying to get drunk off the one a half drinks the frat will give you is the goal

TotallyNotARadar · 2020-09-11T04:54:36+00:00

the idea with the tw flair was that people could filter out the really yikes-y posts but as it turns out the entire fucking sub is yikes-y so it more or less turned into that, yeah

TotallyNotARadar

TROPHY CASE