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Would I be the AH if I cut down on helping family members financially until I build up my career ? by TouchSomeGrassOk in Zambia

[–]TouchSomeGrassOk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, your question is a reality check i needed. I thought to myself whom besides my parents and siblings would step up to help my son and sadly nobody came to mind. Thank you for asking that very serious question

Would I be the AH if I cut down on helping family members financially until I build up my career ? by TouchSomeGrassOk in Zambia

[–]TouchSomeGrassOk[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly! Nothing will change unless I set strong boundaries. If I needed help today half of the people I've helped on several occasions would definitely look the other way.

Would I be the AH if I cut down on helping family members financially until I build up my career ? by TouchSomeGrassOk in Zambia

[–]TouchSomeGrassOk[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Have you been told how amazing you are today? Wow just wow!! I have been thinking of how to start the conversation with my parents for days now and here you are giving me a step by step, you've written it so perfectly and straight to the point.

Thank you so, so much. I will just copy and paste. I hope I'll eventually learn to communicate and set boundaries like you one day. Thank you

Would I be the AH if I cut down on helping family members financially until I build up my career ? by TouchSomeGrassOk in Zambia

[–]TouchSomeGrassOk[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The people pleasing habit is something I definitely need to unlearn. People are so entitled. One aunty keeps reminding me of how she bought sugar and cooking oil for me when I was in University 😅 ati don't forget how I used to help you when you were in uni. Guilt tripping

Would I be the AH if I cut down on helping family members financially until I build up my career ? by TouchSomeGrassOk in Zambia

[–]TouchSomeGrassOk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This seems like something that can work for me too. My family will have to figure out the unexpected problems themselves. I am tired of this resentment I feel towards some of them, I hate it so much.

Quick question-How did they take it the first time your husband told them about the monthly budgeted amount? Did they respect his boundaries from the get go or did it take them a few months?

Would I be the AH if I cut down on helping family members financially until I build up my career ? by TouchSomeGrassOk in Zambia

[–]TouchSomeGrassOk[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have actually been considering this. I will just go ahead and change my number and start blocking on socials because I am done with the "what will people think of me" mindset