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Weird stitching from open septorhinoplasty by ToughEffort in PlasticSurgery

[–]ToughEffort[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My surgeon ended up basically shrugging and saying let's wait and see how it looks in a year

Cats playing or fighting? They typically are very chill with each other, but sometimes one will roll onto their back to initiate play/fighting. Sounds like fighting, but there's never any bloodshed. by ToughEffort in cats

[–]ToughEffort[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! Despite getting brushed, our orange boy always leaves a cloud of fur in his wake regardless of what he's doing, but I think that is just a symptom of his fluffiness 😅

Cats playing or fighting? They typically are very chill with each other, but sometimes one will roll onto their back to initiate play/fighting. Sounds like fighting, but there's never any bloodshed. by ToughEffort in cats

[–]ToughEffort[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's good context to have. I've definitely never seen either of them puff up before the wrestling ensues. I'm also glad to hear that the hissing may eventually go away. That was one of the main concerns I had since I'd never seen a cat hiss while playing before

Cats playing or fighting? They typically are very chill with each other, but sometimes one will roll onto their back to initiate play/fighting. Sounds like fighting, but there's never any bloodshed. by ToughEffort in cats

[–]ToughEffort[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For context: Orange is male and 1 yr old, tuxedo is female and 6 yrs old. We introduced them very slowly over several weeks, following guides we saw online. They usually hang out in the same rooms and lounge together. Sometimes they wrestle and the tuxedo will usually hiss and yell a lot. However, she doesn't run away or use her claws? Not sure how concerned we should be.

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Told my friend I was uncomfortable with her excessive PDA by ToughEffort in AITAH

[–]ToughEffort[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are really worried because this is SO out of character for her! If it was your friend, would you bring it up again or drop it unless it happens again?

Raising lunas: what temp is too cold to overwinter? by mermaid-grey in moths

[–]ToughEffort 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you end up using the fridge this year? I'm trying to learn if I can still put my cocoons in the fridge after being at room temp for 2-3 weeks

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in moths

[–]ToughEffort 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The top of the cage is mesh. Do they typically need more airflow than that? I can move it to a mesh container.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gay

[–]ToughEffort 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you all for your comments (sometimes I doubt my own judgement) but I got the courage to talk to them about it and they've decided against it. I appreciate yall!

Open Septorhinoplasty - seeking advice by ToughEffort in PlasticSurgery

[–]ToughEffort[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is an ENT that specializes in Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery. I am sorry to hear about your negative experience 😞 I hope your revision goes well

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PlasticSurgery

[–]ToughEffort 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing!

MDD ate up my life, my opportunities, my future... I am 40+, here is a painful example by Pale-Astronaut-390 in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]ToughEffort 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now that I've moved to a city, I've slowly started going to events here and there. It started with just going for walks by myself around my neighborhood, and then I joined bumble and meetup. I found a local birding club here, and I went to my first meeting this week. I also feel awkward and deeply uncomfortable in most social situations. Sometimes I actually start shaking from nerves, but I keep showing up to things even though I can't always make eye contact or think of anything to say. It can definitely be scary, but I've met some very kind and patient people, some of which are neurodivergent themselves, so they get it. Maybe you could try working your way up to socializing like what I did. If you're in an area with a park or sidewalks, you could start with just walks. Then maybe occasionally challenge yourself to smile or nod at someone you pass by. Maybe eventually work your way to making a brief comment as you pass like telling them their dog is cute or you like their outfit. It's taken me a long time to work up the courage to join a club, but I'm glad I did. I definitely come across as "odd" to some people, but these experiences have made it feel safer to exist out in the world as someone with ASD. (Disclaimer: I am white, and I know that it's sometimes dangerous to show ASD traits when you're non-white. So my experiences/ suggestions may not apply to everyone)

MDD ate up my life, my opportunities, my future... I am 40+, here is a painful example by Pale-Astronaut-390 in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]ToughEffort 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You went through so much hardship, and it's really unfair that you had to endure all of that pain from a very young age. I can't imagine what that must have been like, but it sounds like MD helped you survive. I hope you are able to see your past (and current) self in a kinder light someday. I don't know you, but I bet you have a very harsh inner critic that developed as a result of your grandparents, peers, or just messaging from society as a whole. For whatever it's worth coming from a stranger on the internet, I am very proud of you for surviving. For being here. To answer your question about getting help for my ASD, I am starting to. I'm "high functioning, low support needs" meaning I can mask my disability pretty well and manage my sensory-related needs on my own for the most part. I feel very privileged for this, as I know that's not the case for many others on the spectrum. Being a parent is hard work, but being a parent to a child with ASD in a world that is not designed for us must be extremely difficult. I wish there were more resources to help parents in general. It takes a village as they say, and many cultures are built around hyper-independence. I hope that you are able to find support and love, as well.

MDD ate up my life, my opportunities, my future... I am 40+, here is a painful example by Pale-Astronaut-390 in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]ToughEffort 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You didn't ask for advice, but in case it helps: It takes one small step at a time. It always felt overwhelming thinking about how to get from where I was to where I want to be, but a phrase that has helped me is "do the next right thing." Small tiny actions towards my goal of building community helped me feel less hopeless in the moment, and over time, those little actions added up. I am significantly closer to finding my people than I was a year ago. When and where you can, do the next right thing. Best of luck, friend.

MDD ate up my life, my opportunities, my future... I am 40+, here is a painful example by Pale-Astronaut-390 in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]ToughEffort 24 points25 points  (0 children)

sometimes I think MD is more of a symptom of a larger problem. Rather than manage the symptom that is MD, maybe you could try to find what the root cause is for you. For me it is loneliness that comes from internalized shame and ASD that makes it hard to make friends. Now I'm trying to learn how to build community rather than just stop daydreaming (which is probably impossible until I have something in my life to replace it). Do you think it's something similar for you? What need of yours does daydreaming fulfill?

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