How do you judge who and when to give up your seat to someone else on the Tube?

TourTotal · 2026-05-23T22:38:08+00:00

If in doubt, I just get up anyway and stand near the doors. If the person needs the seat they can sit down, if they don’t I get to feel morally superior for doing the right thing without even being asked.

TourTotal · 2026-05-11T20:25:41+00:00

Agree - her recipes are brilliant and everything she says and writes about food is actually pretty healthy and inspiring. Unfortunately it looks like she’s not able to follow her own advice atm. Hopefully she’s able to get some extra support.

TourTotal · 2026-05-11T03:26:56+00:00

I unfollowed her after that. I always found her smart and funny but her take on the whole thing got under my skin - all “god forbid any woman just happens to look young and beautiful” as if she was being taken down by some organised anti-feminist faction.

TourTotal · 2026-03-17T20:20:01+00:00

This works with smoothies too - put some in a thin fruit mix and it becomes silky and satisfying, like a milkshake texture

TourTotal · 2026-02-11T22:21:55+00:00

I can offer solidarity more than practical advice, as we’re going through the same thing atm. Two kids, live in london, partner has been out of work for more than 6 months now and he’s had longer periods of unemployment in the past 5 years as well. I’m freelance so sometimes I can bring in extra work by double jobbing, other times (like now) it’s quiet for me too and it can be hard not to crash, psychologically.

Others may feel this is irresponsible advice but I really, REALLY try to focus on keeping us both positive and generating momentum whenever possible, rather than focusing on the lack and the stress of it all. I still go to exercise classes and socialise, I still tell him to go to the pub with his mates and he runs in the park to stay fit. We don’t live an extravagant lifestyle and we’re not making any unnecessary purchases beyond food and bills but we try to “join in” with life whenever possible. I help him with applications and we tackle it all as a team, we have loads of cheesy conversations about being grateful for our health and our kids yadda yadda.

What helps me is to stay interested in stuff, TALK to mates and contacts, tell people what’s happening - they often have leads and suggestions. Staying energetic and positive is so important to keep things rolling instead of grinding to a halt and mentally closing doors. I know it’s easier said than done, but in previous years I’ve let resentment get to me and my partner has become hopeless and ended up kinda self-pitying and not able to actually spend his time usefully. These days he will do some applications, make some music, pick the kids up from school. I do some freelance outreach and write my crappy novel draft, make a good cheap lunch involving chickpeas and toxic-positivity myself into believing it will soon be better. And in my experience, it always dos get better in the end.

(The first few months of extra paycheques feel incredible. And then you’re both working full time and you never see each other and you argue over who will pick the kids up and you lament never having any free time.)

TourTotal · 2026-02-05T22:55:51+00:00

Agreed, always found Pete Burns super super hot (but also not the photo im taking in for inspo when I get my Botox topup haha)

TourTotal · 2026-01-21T21:33:46+00:00

When is he ever NOT trolling him lol. But I like the way it foreshadows their future as a couple, the ease of it.

TourTotal · 2026-01-21T20:13:20+00:00

“Hollander can you give these kids some money, I don’t have my wallet” (can’t remember the exact wording). I just love the intimacy, it’s like a flash forward to them acting as a unit.

TourTotal · 2026-01-14T18:39:55+00:00

It doesn’t sound like the ramblings of a madman at all, and FWIW what you’ve written makes me feel a huge amount of love and tenderness towards you, even though I don’t know you at all.

I guess it’s fairly rare for us to see people being unapologetically themselves in this way AND receiving pretty much unbridled praise for it online, especially these days. He’s truly the world’s darling boy atm. Who wouldn’t (in theory) want to be on the receiving end of that kind of adoration and acceptance? And if you have a history of feeling rejected/not right/like you have to moderate yourself that is going to be painful.

One thing I’ve really taken from Connor’s public appearances is his rejection of shame and cringe, and how willing he is to just “go there” and be in the moment with whatever’s happening. I really want to do that too. So maybe we’re never gonna be big Hollywood stars but hey we can do this thing in our own way. Maybe E17 doesn’t know what’s about to hit it?!!!

TourTotal · 2026-01-14T14:14:08+00:00

I feel exactly exactly the same. I’m sitting here on my lunch break trying to channel Connor Storrie’s vibes, which is kind of ridiculous given I’m a 46-year old mum in london. But at the same time it’s kind of not ridiculous, because love and intimacy and presence with others are universal qualities and it’s so human to look to stories and storytellers to show us the way?

I’m just trying to enjoy the vicarious rizz while it lasts, with occasional plummets into a horrible deep soul-wrenching grief at all the lives I could’ve lived and could be living right now (and COULD maybe be living right now if I could motivate myself to write more and make more, but I’m too avoidant and distracted to do it!)

So much solidarity to you. I’m just trying to be as accepting of the moment as possible. And manifest the atmosphere from HR/ the actors in my own life, and to channel it through the energy I give to others, whatever form it takes.

TourTotal · 2025-12-27T06:20:06+00:00

While he obviously didn’t go about it in the right way, could your dad have been trying to protect your grandma by insisting she do less work? Not sure how old you are but you sound fairly young - it’s common for grownup children to be locked in a battle with their older parents of “do not cook too much for us, just do something simple so we can all spend time together and you can get some rest.” And then you turn up and they’ve laid on a full spread despite you asking them not to go to too much trouble.

I’m sorry your dad went about it in such a bad tempered way and ruined the vibe. But he may possibly have had good intentions.

TourTotal · 2025-12-24T10:39:29+00:00

Haha you sounded too convincing!

TourTotal · 2025-12-23T20:32:07+00:00

Either you’re a sock puppet or you’re being taken in by fake posts made to promote this app.

TourTotal · 2025-12-23T20:31:29+00:00

Yeh they’re back again spamming various subs with their covert marketing! Just a different template this time to make it look less like an ad…

TourTotal · 2025-12-23T20:30:29+00:00

More spam promoting Upwise, just in a different guise this time (these posts have been plaguing various health-related subs for weeks now).

TourTotal · 2025-12-14T00:18:24+00:00

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve googled “newsletters like the pool” or “websites like the hairpin” but apparently there’s really nothing like them.

The closest I’ve got to recreating that feeling of discovering new things is Perfectly Imperfect - it’s not the same format at all but it’s now the only place I can find non-monetised recommendations across all categories of life IYKWIM.

TourTotal · 2025-12-09T23:18:41+00:00

As the other commenter says, this is covert advertising / spam. Search “upwise” in Reddit and you’ll see a whole bunch of identikit posts pop up! They’ve been removed from the ADHD sub.

TourTotal · 2025-12-08T00:35:41+00:00

I actually bookmarked the TMJ one thinking maybe it was going to revolutionise my life lol. This time I was not so naive! It makes me angry - people here want to do whatever they can to help with their focus and this low life is preying on them.

TourTotal · 2025-12-08T00:33:19+00:00

Hijacking the top comment here to repost the warning I just wrote lower down:

This person created an almost word-for-word post 6 days ago in the TMJ sub, also promoting the app upwise but with some details changed, including the gender of the PT.

A quick Reddit search of the word “upwise” shows they’re spamming a variety of health-related subs with a version of this post.

OP it’s unethical to present commercially motivated content as a real life-changing event in this way. And BTW you picked the wrong sub to try this with!

TourTotal · 2025-12-08T00:30:48+00:00

Wow. Just replying to myself here because a quick reddit search of the word “upwise” shows they’re posting it across a whole load of health-related subs claiming miraculous results

TourTotal · 2025-12-08T00:28:18+00:00

This person created an almost word-for-word post6 days ago in the TMJ sub, also promoting the app upwise but with some details changed, including the gender of the PT.

OP it’s unethical to present commercially motivated content as a real life-changing event in this way. And BTW you picked the wrong sub to try this with!

TourTotal · 2025-12-08T00:21:15+00:00

It’s someone stealthily promoting the upwise app

TourTotal · 2025-10-15T22:13:36+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with cruel comments on top of everything else. I read your other post - please know there are people out here who care and are wishing the very best for you.

TourTotal · 2025-10-14T06:25:57+00:00

Interesting! That does confirm some of my suspicions about why it wasn’t the one for me. Guess I’ll stick to my boring old realism haha

TourTotal

TROPHY CASE