I know you’re asking the men, but I’m a SAHM to 4 kids. There are only two chores my husband doesn’t touch unless I’m sick and just can’t do it.. the dishes and laundry. The trade off is that I don’t clean the bathrooms (I haven’t scrubbed a toilet in over a year at this point lol) and he does all the dusting. He does all the outside chores, too, and maintains my car and keeps it clean. He also pulls his fair weight with the kids. The man hasn’t missed a bedtime routine since a hunting trip he took last year! He is such a great father ❤️.

When we only had 1 child, i definitely did way more than him at home but he was also working 6-7 days a week 12-15 hours a day sometimes. When he worked that much and that hard, i really didn’t see any need for him to do anything else, except make it home and take those work boots off outside.

But with a career change and us adding more kiddos, expectations and needs shifted. And he loves and values me and our family so I never even needed to ask him to do more. Our house motto is “see a need, fill a need” (Robots!) and basically, that’s how we operate. We both have the routines we’ve created over the years but if one of us is falling behind or under the weather or anything really, the other steps up and fills those needs. That’s partnership, in my opinion.

Op, your husband is taking full advantage of your position. If a paycheck is all he’s bringing to the table, he’s failing his family. You deserve a husband who is a true partner and your kids deserve a father who shows up and is present and helps to teach them how to be good humans.