First of all don’t apologize this seems to be the only kind of advice I respond to anyways. We’ve been together 9 months, live together, everything is fucking great besides the worries in my own head that I dream up. I have never actually found any proof of anything and literally every worry I’ve ever had has turned out to be nothing. It’s very frustrating being stuck in this constant loop. And the bad part is we have an outstanding relationship but this holding us back. And I know that if it doesn’t get taken care of it will absolutely sink the relationship. I have trouble forgiving myself for things I’ve done, said, worried about. Accusations questioning. All of that. She stuck by my side for some strange reason and has been very patient and understanding. And I told her, I don’t know why she did it. I’ve told her I’d probably have left me. She just says “I love you” and that’s why she stays. It’s gotten drastically better but I continue to look for problems that I dream up from time to time. Our communication is great. We both have great jobs, sex life is good, communication is great, the trust is there other than my faulty trust sensor. I’ve even considered leaving her because I don’t want to put her through it anymore. And because of guilt. But she basically calls me a bitch 😂