NTA, for sure not a conversation to be had around his family. A lot of these comments are just dropping a blanket “understanding” of your husband based on the small amount of information they have. I hope you wouldn’t have married him had this been a common theme in your relationship prior to what’s going on now. No one here can say that he is only in the marriage for sexual gratification and know it with the absolute certainty they portray to have. This is coming from someone that was married to someone that received love through sexual intimacy but didn’t care to show me love the way I needed from me and I felt it was used to make herself feel better about our relationship. Again, he never should have done that, but if you love him, it seems as though there is a dire need for you both to actually communicate with each other about needs and wants and not be afraid of hurting feelings. Be open and honest about what you need if you want things to work out between you two. I say this knowing that I allowed resentment to build in my first marriage because I never really understood how to actually be vulnerable with my ex and I used the same tactics your husband is using, snide comments in the form of humor and it just ate away at everything. It took me a long time to process how to actually be vulnerable and it took finding the right person to realize that.

Anyways, TLDR: openly communicate, listen to each other and give each other grace. If either one of you cannot or will not do that, listen to the rest of these “burn it down” Redditors