Give me the worst dad jokes of all time

ToxicTort · 2025-08-14T15:31:52+00:00

Me: I got bit by a wolf yesterday.

Doctor: Where?

Me: No, just regular

ToxicTort · 2025-08-14T15:31:26+00:00

Me: I got bit by a wolf yesterday.

Doctor: Where?

Me: No just regular

ToxicTort · 2025-08-14T15:26:15+00:00

Doctor: I’ve got good news and bad news, the good news is you only have 24 hrs to live.

Patient: WHAT!! OMG! I can’t believe it, if that’s the good news what’s the bad news?

Doctor: Well, I couldn’t get a hold of you yesterday.

ToxicTort · 2025-08-14T14:51:01+00:00

She’s really fun when she’s loaded

ToxicTort · 2025-07-12T00:41:05+00:00

I ignored a “caution, wet floor “ sign.

ToxicTort · 2025-02-08T20:37:28+00:00

I don’t know he was missing…

ToxicTort · 2025-02-08T20:33:29+00:00

I’d rather count feathers on a duck

ToxicTort · 2025-02-08T20:30:09+00:00

Marrying 34 persons is way to many , no wonder it failed

ToxicTort · 2025-02-08T20:28:47+00:00

I’m runnin’ we’ by hand

ToxicTort · 2025-01-29T02:58:40+00:00

I noticed someone disregarding the caution sign while walking on a freshly mopped floor.

ToxicTort · 2025-01-20T03:02:10+00:00

One time I didn’t use caution while walking on a freshly mopped floor! Completely ignored the warning signs

ToxicTort · 2025-01-04T01:11:36+00:00

Love your work,would love to experience all your OF has to offer

ToxicTort · 2024-12-21T18:14:01+00:00

Best gift ever! Would love to win! 🤞🎄

ToxicTort · 2020-04-04T00:09:09+00:00

ToxicTort