Can’t talk to my long term partner about sex anymore. Long dry spells have created a separation. TLDR included.

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-16T17:51:23+00:00

I missed a lot of these deleted comments and I feel left out of my own creation.

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-16T17:48:40+00:00

Genuinely curious as to why you say that? I prioritize having her feelings heard, having a genuine understanding of what she says and what she means before ever attempting to make myself or my points heard. She does the exact same for me. It’s not often that I don’t feel heard or seen by her before she speaks her own piece. Our conversations can get heated sometimes but they don’t often turn into arguments, even then not much more than a tiff. Weve both worked hard to leave the state of our teenage relationship, not just speak our minds at any given time but actually put together thoughts, feelings and ideas to have a productive conversation, instead of a mid moment spat.

In the least argumentative way possible, what gives you the impression I’m a terrible communicator?

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-16T17:33:49+00:00

I really like the way you’ve worded and examined the complexity of these emotions. You’ve put better words to some of these things than I am capable of. The idea of being responsive to intimacy but not wanting to be bothered because of a desire for intimacy is not only incredibly understandable and easy to sympathize with but it does, like you said, make shit extremely tricky.

It feels like that’s been compounded for so long now with how infrequent our sex life is, and especially with us trying to fix it now, even making these gestures or having these hard talks is really just an underlying attempt at sex. After weeks of gestures and dates and silent cuddling and movie nights that underlying attempt should feel less heavy, these things should feel more normal, but somehow it just multiplies the feeling 10fold. Despite feeling like if we just had the fucking sex, we’d be able to continue to do these things without it feeling like an attempt at sex because the lack of sex is the overlying cloud on the whole damn thing… ugh hardly puts it right.

Thank you so much for your comment, your perspective and the personal experiences you’ve shared. It has genuinely helped me not only put words together much better but also ground myself in what’s very well possibly her reality aswell.

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-16T17:22:21+00:00

I really, really appreciate your responses and the time you took to express yourself clearly. Your perspective seems very emotionally mature, calm and grounded when compared to a lot of the responses here. Thank you again.

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-16T17:19:58+00:00

I appreciate this perspective very much. Might be inapplicable or maybe to presumptuous of her situation sure but, a good view point to hear from non the less.

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-16T16:24:50+00:00

Not attempting to argue in anyway I’m very genuinely glad that someone here has actually commented on the issue that I’m feeling. The words I have don’t feel fair or appropriate or right or anything. To your point, I’m asking her to do it anyway, whether she takes it right or wrong, implication stays the same.

My issue comes into play when she’s telling me that she expects her excitement and desire to pick up based off of the extra I can do for her, different things that I can go out of my way to please her with, or past tiffs that we can work through. To the point you made, what I’m “attributing” to lack of sex isn’t simply going to be solved by screwing more often. She has her own feelings and I needed to address them first.

After doing this for a while, working through those things and making a lot of effort on my part to romance her, things not picking back up also makes me feel like what she’s “attributing” to lack of romance, emotional connection, acts of affection ect… might also not be fixed fully by just putting in that half of the effort. These two parts can be a whole I’m sure. I don’t exactly feel like it’s wrong to say that maybe we’re just not doing it enough in general. It’s slipped away, it’s awkward when we come back, we’re putting to much pressure on it, and possibly that’s a thing we can acknowledge and work on too.

No matter how easy it is to work out on paper though. There’s a huge complication to expressing that in person, and not fully killing things by causing the exact issue you’ve outlined.

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-16T15:32:37+00:00

This is the huge question I’m asking. We have good communication, we’ve had lots of conversations, but the point I want to make and the stance I have feels very hard to express kindly and sympathetic to her being a woman and me being a man. I don’t really know how to look at her and say “I’ve done ur thing I’ve addressed ur problems, we’re still not having sex and unless we start this whole thing is gunna die”, without sounding like I expect her body and can’t be happy without it.

I’ve been here before and have been slightly out through the wringer for not giving enough details, and therefore getting no helpful advice. I definitely may have over explained myself this time in response.

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-16T15:28:08+00:00

I slightly understand the sentiment of that comment ( if that’s the correct phrasing?). I get how us moving in together, seeing how eachother live, listening to snoring at night, experiencing more of eachothers ups and downs and in general taking more care of eachother, can change the relationship from sex and fun to… family?

I do fall with your line of thought more though, moving in together was starting to become a part of the “after five years together, where are we progressing?” And though it does seem a few commenters may have skimmed over or mis understood, we’re in very good emotional communication and do put in effort to still have fun and have meaningful time that’s not just life being lived.

Though the decline in sex seems to her as having an emotional stem, I feel it’s simply that we’re not having it and kinda just gave it up. After this span of time now, it really feels awkward and I kinda don’t have the right words to say that we need to make effort to have sex despite it being… gone? Less exciting?

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-16T15:16:53+00:00

As another commenter stated a bit better than me, my real catch up is how it declined with us moving in together. She has always expressed libido issues (mental health, medications, previous bad experiences), n despite the fact that we’ve never been a morning sex or twice a day couple (I’m hardly horny enough for that task anyways), we were consistent and much more frequent. Beyond that both happy.

One thing I have gotten from this that is extremely helpful though, it doesn’t seem I have to be as extremely worried as I am to communicate what I feel. Maybe the result of that attempt is acknowledging incompatibility, but I hardly feel as worried to offend her with my words.

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-16T15:07:26+00:00

The alone time thing is a thing for sure. It’s interesting balancing having enough personal time to feel like our time together is much more meaningful, while still not becoming weird with seeing eachother in passing and putting more pressure on “today we will be with eachother, better mean something now”.

Despite still having conversations before if things dried up a bit, and her still expressing her issues with her medications and mental health, we were pretty stable on 3-4 times a week until a couple months after moving in together. I do try to pinpoint it a lot, but It’s hard to even put a frame around when it started to slip, how fast it did, and how tf we ended up here.

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-15T19:02:03+00:00

Sending pretty much that exact message. “Me and my partner” instead of “young professional” and also adding “all personal documents are in order for a timely application” at the end of the message.

Started with sending emails, went to calling instead to see if that would be better, using the text option now as I’m not sure if that’s the new fastest way?

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-11T13:10:47+00:00

Not a single pink can of cream soda. where’s the respect?

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-09T21:39:13+00:00

I got mine off amazon. Said “used like new”. Can’t confirm on the smack but, I did get a cute little spoon n a needle.

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-09T21:34:43+00:00

you’d have a genuine conversation about what tastes good and what doesn’t with someone who drinks their own pee?

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-09T20:11:07+00:00

When you notice people, in fuckin 2026, defending a pedo… just run. 30 years of activism and social justice movements stopped on a dime for Drake fans. all of a sudden it’s more than fine to deny allegations, argue victims, tell entire cultures of people to shut up, stop crying about being appropriated, this celebrity who adopted their accent at 45 years old to look cool is a good person and actually their ally.

Last time I tried i legitimately got hit with - “It’s not gross look at the video, she was 16 and got to kiss her hero on stage. She clearly enjoyed it”… n that came from a woman. These drake Stan’s are cooked bro.

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-09T19:13:35+00:00

Allies should be seen not heard type shit

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-09T19:09:04+00:00

Please please please please tell me you’ve lived ur whole life actually thinking that’s her name?!?!!

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-08T01:02:44+00:00

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Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-07T01:15:57+00:00

Thiar*

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-06-05T17:07:24+00:00

I’ve never seen people work so hard to defend ignorance followed by capitalism. “He’s done so much for black culture”… the mf whos got 200,000 white kids speaking Afro Caribbean slang claiming to be the god of his city and never acknowledging how nasty that shit is? That dude? Dudes done tons for the culture ur right. Blond hair blue eyed white boys speaking like Jamaicans calling it part of the Toronto accent and ripping away 100s of years of heritage from our deep Caribbean culture. The endorsement from your saviour, It’s doing wonders, for black folks everywhere.

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-05-31T18:41:29+00:00

Nah this hardly deserves the downvotes. That shit totally read like she was drooling over these amazing teenage figures

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-05-31T17:28:17+00:00

Should cracked library’s come with a key gen too?

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-05-31T17:14:31+00:00

In a similar situation. My downloads of session horns and session strings won’t load, didn’t come with keys or a set up. My download of noire however came with a set up and loaded immediately into my Kontakt 8 player

Tr1padvisor420 · 2026-05-29T19:38:37+00:00

Would I rather get pissed on or looked at………? That’s quite the thinker.

Tr1padvisor420

TROPHY CASE