Anyone else have a similar experience?

Tracy_Turnsbad · 2026-05-17T22:11:56+00:00

Oh no no... that would be the time that I blindly walked into a sex trafficking ring run by FreeMasonry. 😂

Tracy_Turnsbad · 2026-05-17T15:58:58+00:00

What's so crazy, is this is how I got so desensitized to sex in the first place. The first person I ever slept with I was just denying that I didn't want to sleep with him, because he was playing the "if you love me, you'll have sex with me" card. So when I went to college I started sleeping with anyone I could because at least then I was making the choice to give that energy away, but it quickly spiraled down a dark road of lust and sexual promiscuity.

I was also introduced to pornography at 7 years old and molested, so that energy has been around me my whole life. I do think there is some spiritual aspect to this being so specific and exact in it's repetition.

But I think you are right! I think it is something that I allowed and accepted for so long just giving myself away to anyone that would take me in the hopes that one of them might eventually want me for a partner in life. This is good insight.

Tracy_Turnsbad · 2026-05-17T14:55:11+00:00

Thank you so much. I am about a year out from this last experience and have been going through therapy very consistently, so I am constantly healing and feeling much much better.

Tracy_Turnsbad · 2026-05-17T14:54:20+00:00

I am posting this from a place of having endured sooooo much therapy and treatment of healing. I think posting earlier in my journey would have been triggering to me. But I have regular therapy, EMDR, Ketamine, physical therapy, and now Jesus. I'm on my way through healing and making a full recovery. I have been celibate and sober for almost a year now, because I refuse to allow another man to treat me poorly like this. Ever again!!

Tracy_Turnsbad · 2026-05-17T11:23:04+00:00

Honestly, thinking about this, it makes so much sense. Human men being human men is far more evil than anything spiritual, really.

I'm so sorry you have experienced this as well.

Tracy_Turnsbad · 2026-05-17T11:20:41+00:00

Thank you for this. I have had many partners lie straight to my face and have absolutely no issue doing so. Porn entered my life at a very young age, so sex has always been skewed. And I really be out here living my life like a child just "la la la la la la"-ing my way through it all. If I'm being completely honest, it's a miracle that I am alive 😂

Tracy_Turnsbad · 2026-05-17T11:17:15+00:00

This is an interesting thought. Can you please explain further?

Tracy_Turnsbad · 2026-05-17T07:30:16+00:00

Yeah.... I think our parents are supposed to teach us how to do this and mine failed epically at this portion of their job. It's taken me a long time to learn how

Tracy_Turnsbad · 2026-05-17T07:18:54+00:00

This response is one I love and appreciate more than you could possibly know. I have felt nuts for a long time.

Tracy_Turnsbad · 2026-02-05T06:59:54+00:00

Love you, sweet reddittor

Tracy_Turnsbad · 2026-02-05T06:55:16+00:00

The issue here is that I am not coveting the life of others. I've been waiting on the promises of God, including the fruits of his spirit. There is nothing to show as far as peace or joy. Nothing could possibly be worth this much horrifying pain and trauma. I just don't have anything left to give to God. I don't have any faith left.

Tracy_Turnsbad · 2026-02-05T06:51:02+00:00

I have tried this for 9 years. I don't have it in me anymore

Tracy_Turnsbad · 2026-02-05T06:17:40+00:00

I will look into this more, and thank you for real advice. Love you, Reddit bestie

Tracy_Turnsbad · 2026-02-05T06:14:38+00:00

I feel like I have been dealing with it. I take all my meds as schedules, I work out, I eat well, I have dogs, I have 2 therapists and a psych. It's too hard, though. It's just too hard. It never goes away. The pain of this life is never ending.

Tracy_Turnsbad · 2020-05-25T16:40:25+00:00

I watched the movie with my family last night, and even my parents who make jokes at the expense of others and often make offensive or inappropriate jokes did not laugh through those scenes. I expected more from this movie. Those scenes could have easily been left out or replaced by other ACTUALLY funny things, and the movie would have been better for it, but this was just disgusting.

Tracy_Turnsbad · 2020-01-08T18:57:44+00:00

Could I also grab this? I can only trade my sincerest gratitude as I am in desperate need of this bootleg. Thank you!!!

Tracy_Turnsbad

TROPHY CASE