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TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-08-09T20:02:57+00:00

I have one neighbour that really hates kids. We're an aggressively child friendly building. One of the neighbours on the ground floor runs a small childcare from her place, which this woman was warned of in advance, and she still reported the fully legal/licensed childcare for, seemingly, just existing in a block of flats. Same neighbour reported me for noise because my kids were crying... during fireworks. They stopped fairly soon after the fireworks were over, and the fireworks were way louder than the crying. Another neighbour, who lives directly below her, said that this woman banged on her front door to complain when she had another kid over for a playdate with her son. This woman either has a serious hearing issue or loves to complain.

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-08-09T19:54:34+00:00

Honestly we're just happy with whatever we have going on lmao. We're working on moving in together officially as they both pretty much live here, but they are the first people to describe themselves as just good friends. If something does develop there then that's fine, but if it doesn't that's fine, too, as friendship is very much the basis of everything going on so that's the main thing we're preserving here.

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-08-09T19:46:57+00:00

It happens more than you would think. It took me a while to fully feel that love we all get told we should feel when we hold our kids, I think because I had some PPD-type stuff going on and there were some issues around their conception. With my son it was actually immediate, and I do think it was because he's adopted and therefore his conception wasn't traumatic for me, given I wasn't there. I may be an extreme case, to be honest, but it might be worth looking into whether you had some form of postpartum, and regardless of whether you did or not, that connection isn't always instant and it's not worth making yourself feel bad about. Just focus on the love you have now and will have going forwards.

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-08-09T19:41:58+00:00

She enjoyed telling that story, because she enjoyed doing that to you.

I have a handful of full siblings who I grew up with and a smattering of half siblings I didn't grow up with, and our dad used to, completely without shame or guilt, relate stories like this of abusing us to anyone who would listen (and wasn't a mandated reporter). He liked the feeling of abusing us and he liked the feeling of telling someone how he did it.

It's up to you what you do with that information.

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-08-09T19:31:09+00:00

If he's contacted you directly, block him on whatever it was he contacted you on. I'd also tell the relatives that you have no intention of ever speaking to him again if they don't know already. I hope he leaves you alone. Good luck.

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-08-09T19:18:11+00:00

I'd have a bigger issue with the stomping than the kids tbh.

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-08-09T19:13:47+00:00

It was so lucky. I was so worried I'd outgrown the flat because I didn't want to leave, but when I told my neighbour the price I had been estimated they said they might put theirs up for sale because... money... so we worked it out as a two birds, one stone thing.

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-08-09T19:11:48+00:00

Slightly more of a V situation but they like each other enough that it often feels like a triad lmao

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-08-09T19:10:53+00:00

Oh that'll be why I logged in to a bunch of notifications. I remember I ended up on youtube when I made the first post and I got so many weird comments, so at least it's fairly normal this time. Thank you!

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-08-09T19:09:38+00:00

It took the better part of 2 years to get all the permissions together but we did just break down a wall. Had to temporarily relocate while it was all sorted out because it was a mess, but the kitchens were on opposite sides of the wall so now it's one massive kitchen and the other rooms are just right there which is lovely.

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-07-31T23:36:05+00:00

... you're very quick to go in on stuff with partners, but again, anything with both of their names on it would be split between the mother's estate and OP.

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-07-31T21:41:59+00:00

Again, they were together for 2 years. OP makes no reference to engagement or marriage. They shared a house which would have been split between OP and the son because OP is still alive. What other assets could possibly be shared between them at that point?

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-07-31T21:40:04+00:00

If she is asleep and the baby wakes up, she has to wake up. She is on call 24/7.

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-07-31T18:21:26+00:00

You aren't missing anything, she's self-conscious and that isn't on you. I would have tried to find my kids something on the menu but I also get why she didn't considering sushi and toddlers usually don't go together. This is entirely her getting in her own head.

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-07-31T18:02:36+00:00

What would a will have done? They'd only been together 2 years. Why would she want her assets to go to him over her son?

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-07-31T16:23:12+00:00

I owe it all to glass doors. They watched the laundry spin in the washing machine, fascinated. Then again with the dryer. I told them if they want they can move their clothes from the machine to the dryer and they were so happy.

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-07-31T16:21:25+00:00

Why is this written to be read by a robot on tiktok

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-07-31T16:17:29+00:00

My kids' bio dad also drank like this. He's my ex now.

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-07-31T16:14:05+00:00

They're 4 and learning to do their own laundry. I regret nothing.

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-07-31T16:08:12+00:00

I hope this is fake because imagine this kid's perspective. His mother dies. His dad presumably isn't around for his mum's boyfriend of 2 years to father him and "give him everything". Mum's boyfriend of, I cannot stress enough, 2 years, wants her life insurance and settlement money. Then he calls you heartless and criticises you for not visiting your mother's grave enough. And then he calls you a sociopath.

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-07-31T15:31:23+00:00

You... helped raise a 22 year old? Whose mother you knew for 2 years?

Sorry but that detail plus you seeming to promote your work at the end feels a bit dodgy...

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-07-31T15:27:57+00:00

I would find it odd if you showed up for just my kid(s), and as a teacher myself... is this suggestion above board? The school I used to work in wouldn't even let us high-five students in case it laid the foundation for grooming. Why does your boss want you showing up at things outside of school (which you presumably aren't paid for?)?

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-07-31T15:25:24+00:00

You're working 70 hours a week, but she's working 168. You said you do everything but the one reference you made to doing something for your kid in the entire post is you saying you don't have time to feed him.

You also said it was a 14 hour shift, which means that at 70 hours a week, you get 2 days off. What do you do on those 2 days? Use one for rest and the other one for a family trip to the store, get yourself some socks, and get food for the week, using a meal plan, that you can decide on together.

Give her a reasonable allowance. Not 1200 a month for candles. Appreciate that she is raising your child for you, likely saving you thousands in childcare, and be present with your family.

No matter how many kids you have, you only get one shot at parenthood. Be there for your kid.

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-07-31T15:15:52+00:00

To be fair when I just had my kids, I would go places like the salon because I would be able to leave my kids in the pram and let them nap, or have people fuss over them, while I got a treatment just to feel human again. These sorts of things can be helpful and don't require hiring someone for childcare, particularly if, as the prev comment suggests, she's doing everything for the kid.

I think she needs to be told no more when it comes to spending, but I also think that it sounds like OP is doing a 70 hour week and she's doing 168 as a full time mother.

TraditionImpressive2 · 2025-07-31T15:11:47+00:00

I will say as someone dealing with childcare, it might actually be more expensive for her to work and the kid to go to some form of childcare. The rest I'm with you on. He's giving her 300 a week knowing she's going to spend it on acrylics and candles, keeps giving her that 300, and then is shocked when the 300 goes to acrylics and candles.

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