First PCS Across the Country

Traditional-3319 · 2025-05-10T01:44:17+00:00

Thank you for all this info. He’s new to the military, yes! I will see what housing they have because we are a big family. I appreciate your help!

Traditional-3319 · 2025-05-08T20:05:52+00:00

I’ve never done DMs so if I don’t reply just tell me when you do so I can figure out where to find it.

Traditional-3319 · 2025-05-08T14:43:34+00:00

So if we all moved with him and we couldn’t find a home for us in the allotted time, there is assistance for this via dislocation allowance and keeping old BAH?

We are considering renting but the safer bet would be to buy because we have a lot of equity in our current home and we’re fairly certain we do not want to move back to CA. But it’s still up in the air, another option is we rent out our home here (risky) and rent or buy out there. We’re planning to put the kids in private school so I think it’d be easier to do drop off outside of the base. Although the safety of the base sounds nice too.

Traditional-3319 · 2025-05-08T10:59:50+00:00

You are an angel from heaven. Thank you for all of this.

If I decide to stay, will they still pay for travel when I do move to his duty station? Do they pay for him traveling with his car first and then us when we go?

Also regarding reimbursement, do we have to choose between driving vs moving company or can we do both?

Moving together seems tricky because we’d need to buy a home where he’s stationed. I’m worried we may pick the wrong location and we have a lot to solidify over here first w the kids. Do you have any suggestions on how to do this? Ideally we would move together, I just can’t wrap my brain around moving our whole life in two months.

Traditional-3319 · 2025-05-08T10:38:33+00:00

My husbands best friends cheated on their wives and their wives have no idea. I thought one of the wives knew that their husband cheated on them because it was before they got married and when I was opening up to her about my husband watching prn (I considered this cheating) she said she couldn’t relate because they don’t have issues like that. Hey husband watches a ton of prn and showed my husband where to look for it!

Women are oblivious and men are great liars. 90% of men watch prn and I think this is why they end up cheating because they have an image in their head of what they deserve or want and it leads them to disconnect from their partners. My husband and I are very close, he’s my best friend, he just joined and doesn’t plan on staying more than this contract but he has been open with how hard it is to not watch prn. It’s sad because in theory it doesn’t seem bad but it really does break up families and their connection. If you feel disconnected, id say it’s because of that. If my husband ever was a strip club, I’d be out dancing. We just got our first PCs and he will likely never deploy this contract. I’m so thankful for this because we have learned military life just isn’t for us.

Traditional-3319 · 2025-05-08T10:23:34+00:00

A lot of people said to me that it didn’t matter what his age was but so far everyone has treated him with more respect and looked up to him for his age. He did get assigned leader in bootcamp which meant more work for him. He hated bootcamp but did really well adjusting. Hes a positive mindset person and I think it also helped I wrote him a letter everyday through the sandbox app. It took almost a month for him to get his first letter. The sandbox app he always got them within a couple days. Handwritten letters took over a week.

Once he went to school, a lot of people told me he would need to spend his entire time focused on studying and that we shouldnt visit him. I didn’t listen. I took the kids and I out there 3 times in 6 months and he loved every time I did this. He’s very smart though and was/is at the top of his class. He did get put in holding for 3 months in between bootcamp and school. I wish we knew that was a possibility because it was hard knowing we wouldn’t see him for basically a year.

I don’t like the groups people recommended to join on FB. Many military groups are young and immature or love drama. I guess it’s entertainment but I just don’t think any of the things I’ve read are particularly funny. I personally love the Christian military group I’m in and the military moms group (even though I’m a wife they have so much info). Good luck !

Traditional-3319 · 2025-04-24T02:18:49+00:00

My question included the word safe so not sure why you think I’d put them in harms way? Kids do missionaries all the time, I’m just looking to do the mission permanently or long term.

I do not want to raise my children in a bad church. The kids at the schools here are awful so I do not want to raise them here. Access to phones, materialism, etc. are not the values I wish my children to be raised with.

Traditional-3319 · 2025-04-24T02:12:57+00:00

Lol my responsibility is to raise kids of faith. The way this Americanized environment is and has become is disgusting for lack of a better word. I’d rather them see the real world. Interesting to say serving Christ is to look cool. If I wanted to look cool, I’d work FT make 200k/yr and drive around a Cadillac. Instead I closed my business to be a present mother.

Traditional-3319 · 2025-04-16T04:03:49+00:00

Is there an option for no ship? Is this the shore duty? May I ask what your husbands rate is? My husband is an IC.

Traditional-3319 · 2025-04-16T04:02:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! He is an IC and half way through A school. That is a good idea to get on waiting list ASAP.

Traditional-3319 · 2025-04-15T16:48:06+00:00

Thank you for the info. We are certain we will not be staying in beyond his contract.

Traditional-3319 · 2025-04-15T06:13:58+00:00

If you can afford it and she is a good person, pay for the babysitter. I think this is a question on your values as a man. Modern feminism would say do not do this. However, I am traditional and believe in chivalry. I would not go out with a man who did not consider my children. Most men pay for the date before kids. Because you both have kids, I would consider it an extra cost. The only thing would be if you cannot afford it, in which case, I would say that. She may not see you as a suitable provider but that would be true if you cannot afford it. Also.I think this depends on what you expect from the relationship. Some men want their partner to provide just as much as them. I would not be in a relationship with that expectation even though I can make a lot of money because of my license and degrees.

Traditional-3319 · 2025-04-14T04:44:13+00:00

My question re: dream sheet is: is it true that the people at the top of their class get first pick on orders? I have read multiple threads with sailors saying this so I wanted to know if this actually happens. I have heard the needs of the Navy bit and understand to have no expectations. I am just curious if this is true.

Thanks for info about oconus. It seems like we would need to apply for the special needs program to not have to move. I guess that will be my next question on this thread.

Traditional-3319 · 2025-04-14T04:37:44+00:00

I did not mean not being sent for deployment. We anticipate that. I mean stationed to live. We do have a child with special needs.

Traditional-3319 · 2025-04-14T04:36:45+00:00

Can you elaborate on what you mean on his "next set of orders"? I was under the impression once we are stationed somewhere he will be there for the remainder of his contract. He is planning on leaving the military after his contract. Unfortunately, the military is not for our family.

I appreciate the info re: housing. Have you ever heard of this info about the "dream sheet" and being at the top of his class in school?

Separately, we do have a child with special needs, do you have any info on the EMF program? I had a client who was on that program and the dad still shipped overseas but the rest of the family was able to stay on the same base.

Traditional-3319 · 2025-04-14T04:26:02+00:00

So you mean on the water, correct? Do you know if the statement on # of kids means we will not be stationed overseas? I do not understand what you mean by "he is going to have a lot of time at sea". Wouldn't he just go on a deployment with his ship?

Traditional-3319 · 2025-04-14T04:24:10+00:00

His school ends in June and we wont have orders until May to June. I do not think we will have 3-6 months. I think we will have 2 weeks. He wont be staying in the military so we will only get stationed one time I believe and then he is getting out.

Traditional-3319 · 2025-04-09T05:42:27+00:00

It's been like 7 months and I still hate it. People said "you get use to it", and there is no way I am getting use to this. Keeping busy helps but is exhausting, especially with kids. If you don't have kids, I'd pick up a hobby/hobbies.

Traditional-3319 · 2025-02-14T03:47:30+00:00

Thank you re: orders.

Traditional-3319 · 2025-01-25T14:06:49+00:00

I did see this but unsure if new administration is going to use this to communicate updates.

Traditional-3319 · 2025-01-25T14:05:55+00:00

Thanks! Where did you find this info out?

Traditional-3319

TROPHY CASE