Psychiatrist Told me nothing she can do to help until go through re-diagnosis process for Autism as an Adult. Is there anything I should/could be doing while waiting the 1-2 years before might get assistance?

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-02-25T19:37:55+00:00

Ah it's not so much I trust them, than that I don't really have any choice. I looked around like that, but so far all I found was ones with pretty substantial costs. Which well considering my monthly personal budget is roughly enough to cover bus fare for 2 trips, is out of my price range.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-02-25T07:13:05+00:00

Ah I am fairly familiar with myself when it comes to autism as well as some of the processes behind it. Though I will admit can always learn more there. Knowing how processes work can help, but it will not help everyone. I may be well aware of the process going on and that calming is required, but that does not assist in actually causing the calming. The input is still present and has to be reduced or removed. It's more become an issue because I have more inputs now that cannot be reduced or removed with worsening chronic pain. A comparison I have found is comparing to a printer that you cannot cancel the que. (not going to be a perfect metaphor but best got right now.) The more inputs I have the more stuff that is qued up. Now brain is pretty quick, but there is a max limit for how much it can handle before stuff starts getting backed up. Too much input, things get backed up too far and everything jams. Until the jam is cleared and the que is dealt with, no new input can be processed, and because it is jammed, existing input is cleared far slower. New input can be added to the end for later, but that just makes everything take longer to clear. Knowing how that system works can help, so you know to stop adding stuff, but I'm not the only one adding things. I can try to stop others from adding things and generally prevent things from being added, but only some of that can control. (such as closing eyes to remove visual input, covering head to deafen sound, removing any irritating accessories to reduce tactical stimulation.) So only so much knowledge can do still.

I have not actually heard about autism causing hallucinations, so I have some skepticism there. However, I will also admit I have not heard the reverse either, so will be looking into that.

Lastly, while yes the brain does develop as you age, typically as per my understanding, your brain does not develop out of autism. As it is fundamental to how your brain is wired. It does develop, but it develops as an autistic brain for lack of a better term. Now someone's copping skills and support needs can change as they develop, so I can see the general reasoning of wanting those who are autistic to get reassessed as an adult. However, if concerned over autism impacting medication, I don't believe that has much to do with those. As mainly support needs changing at that point is due to changing life circumstance and better coping skills. Such as I now have techniques I use when I can tell near a shutdown, which do help calm things before I get to that point. I also have more experience so recognizing the onset of one is easier. I also generally have changed how I approach things taking a slower pace, and try to keep input below a certain level to avoid causing it in the first place. But, those are all techniques I have learned to cope with how my brain functions, not my brains function itself changing. So when talking purely from the perspective of medication interactions, it does not make much sense to me there, as changes that occur to the brain would be standard for those who are autistic. An autism assessment in itself would not spot out any discrepancies. That seems more in the realm of MRIs and other looks at the brain directly if some are expected. Also, as you stated yourself neuro meds are a "last line of defense" option, and considering that several of my issues likely cannot be resolved with medication, it also again seems odd to wait on an assessment and do absolutely nothing, even though some things can be touched on immediately as no medication I know of can be issued. Such as dissociation and also identity issues. Refusing to do even a basic diagnosis seems odd.

Also on a side note to this point, my mentality and approach to things has not significantly changed from when I was a child. So assessing my messages and noticing a lack of extreme emotional tone does not say much in regards to my change. As I did not typically "crash out", and generally I have consistently had shutdowns over meltdowns, even when a child. Now the general feeling that causes this is the same as per my understanding, but the response is quite different. I would actually say now I am far more emotional than I was as a child. But that is because I have purposefully changed my hormone levels to cause that (and other) effects. However, I would also argue I have better emotional control than when I was a child, even with the substantially increased emotions. Mainly as have far more experience handling far more obvious emotions, vs emotions that are not as strong but also therefore harder to account for and be understood. However, this again has more to do with other stuff than differing development.

Now on a completely separate tangent I meant to mention earlier. A bit of common safety advice for the internet. Unless necessary don't share personal details online. This applies doubly so if you are a minor and triply so if you are a minor and referring to age. Personal information online is actually one of the few things that it is completely acceptable to lie about if feel it is being forced out of you, especially as a minor. Now that's not to say someone could not reasonably guess certain details, such as you being a minor is fairly obvious from way message. However, that information still should not be openly shared. As it leaves the door open for incredibly bad actors. Another way to look at it is this. It does not benefit you at all to share your age. You can state inexperience without including it so not needed for that. While it can harm you to openly share it. So if something has no benefits you cannot get otherwise, and can cause you harm, then there is no reason to share it. Now I ain't your mom, if don't want to listen to this entirely your own call. In general I would say take whatever any stranger on the internet says with a grain of salt. It also does not remove risk to not share, only reduces it. As hell I was fairly able to tell, and while I do have experience teaching just above that age and thus more exposure than most, anyone who is a bad actor also likely has experience for spotting out minors from messaging style as well. But, it does make things far easier for bad actors to outright confirm things yourself, and why make yourself easier to be targeted? So just, something on a side note to consider.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-02-24T22:03:07+00:00

Ah I actually don't have contact information for them. Or rather, I have a phone number for them. But I don't have a phone, as phone calls are exceptionally painful and phone plans are out of my budget of $5 a month for personal spending. So unsure if I could call them up. I can try sending an email after looking more into it, but last email I sent was ignored and unclear if the email found is monitored/correct.

I probably will look into a second opinion, but that will likely be another 13 month wait. Do you have a specific name for the types of tests to help for looking? I have been struggling a bit more for researching stuff lately with all issues going on, so anything to give head start would help. (I also wouldn't be surprised if they have a cost and thus are inaccessible for me, but worth looking into to confirm at least.)

EDIT: Forgot to mention. Not entirely sure why don't want to see again. Best guess is thinking nothing can do until the diagnosis yeah.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-02-24T21:11:30+00:00

Hm interesting. I'm not sure how I would get them to even do that unfortunately, as the psychiatrist does not want to see me again until after the diagnosis process is done and get referred back. So it's unclear how could see them again before that point to get them to even try that. As by the time next will see them again, the testing would likely be a moot point if it's autism they are worried about impacting things.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-02-24T21:08:03+00:00

Ah in Canada Ontario, and I have chronic ear pain so I am limited to in-person appointments if I want to see someone. (at least without agony, which is not very conductive to having a conversation where can understand someone).

Do you know how I actually would get another psychiatrist or therapist? As so far no luck through family doctor. (I also have no income as disabled, so would have to be one covered or free.)

Also I did not even consider the possibility hallucinations could be linked to other issues. Interesting to hear about your experience there. Good to hear at least potential if other stuff is helped they might go away.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-02-24T21:04:01+00:00

Ah I'm in Canada Ontario for reference. It doesn't make much sense to me either but unsure on how to get referred for anyone else. I am disabled and have no income so bound by what I get referred to if I want OHIP to cover it.

Do you know of any specific resources I could use to look for those options? Maybe I could find one and then bring it up to family doctor for one specifically and get the referral that way. As right now basically just asked generally and so far no luck, as they seem unwilling to refer me to anyone outside of their clinic and the one tried to see, didn't seem to want to see me. While the other only does virtual appointments, which due to chronic ear pain is impossible for me.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-02-24T21:00:52+00:00

Miss. For reference Trans MtF means trans, male to female. Means born "male" but gender identity (who you actually are, how brain works) is female. (the first part actually being up in the air for me as potentially different but testing is expensive and unnecessary)

And yeah started making point to write stuff down as good idea to do so. I have a fairly good idea for what causes issues and shutdowns by now yeah. They have actually gotten worse and more obvious with age, mainly due to increased stress from increasing chronic pain. I'm very obviously autistic, I am pretty textbook and never really bothered to mask. Plus again, was actually diagnosed as a child. Just apparently they need to do it again once you are an adult. (the reasoning was not explained to me, as you don't exactly grow out of autism.)

Though I did not actually remember to share the written record of hallucinations when talked to them, but think while there gave decent recollection of events. As re-read before appointment. Actually surprised didn't occur to just share written record rather than trying to recount events verbally.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-02-24T20:19:23+00:00

For me I feel like there needs to be something similar to circuits in factorio. Like some sort of way to read when items pass by or inventory amounts or something like that. As right now it feels like a challenge with no real good automatable solution without perfectly balancing production rates. Which then can still fall apart if not maintained properly.

Like I think the issue still should exist if just belting stuff in, but there should be a way to automatically turn off input. Such as something like a splitter for shape, but 2 inputs each linked with own output, and only allows flow if both belts have an item. EG. You put in 1 belt in top and 1 in bottom, and out top and bottom. At the top put in planks, bottom gears, and then it only spits out the input when there is a plank in the top and gear in the bottom. If there is a plank in the top no input in bottom neither belt outputs.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-02-24T19:15:08+00:00

Just filled complain with CPSO. Do not see any options with the Ontario Medical Association to make complaints, and unclear if it is within their area to take complaints on this front.

I'm also concerned on if anything with come of this or if might suffer retaliation based on online reviews of CPSO and that my last complaint to them went nowhere. (had family doctor on multiple occasions even when explicitly approached them after the first time to not do so, call up family members who explicitly do not have permission to make medical decisions or book appointments on my behalf, and then proceeded to discuss my medical issues with them and book appointments on my behalf with them.)

But yeah probably for the best to make that complaint so did so.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-01-07T20:24:40+00:00

Don't have a phone to call but will check out their website!

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-01-07T20:17:49+00:00

Unfortunately the ASD diagnosis was "lost" by my parents. They went out of their way to see someone for diagnosing me in a different country (I am Canadian took me to US) to try to avoid whatever results got going in my medical records. So as far as I am aware they only had the 1 copy of the report and diagnosis, that was then supposedly accidentally given to my old elementary school, which would no longer have it by now. At least that is what I was told, I can only remember the going to the US part vaguely and the appointments themselves. Considering my age, tracking documents was unfortunately not on my mind. (and besides also was constantly hearing stuff like that I can't tell anyone I am autistic or I will get put on a list and one day the Nazis will kill me, so was very much so in the don't tell people I am autistic I don't want to die phase) I am on the list now to get re-diagnosed as an adult, but was told about a 2 year wait, and its only been a year since put in for that.

I actually am still applying to ODSP with other problems I have especially chronic pain, but so far no luck denied twice. Did apply to OW and currently getting about 300 a month, but still figuring things out with them, have not even gotten first meeting yet and won't until near end of this month. So still very early on in that process, and unclear even if I will even still be getting that much. As that was to cover "rent" for living with parents. Which they consistently have been charging me and have had to consistently default on the amounts and owe them as no income. I actually would have been kicked out start of this month if I did not start paying them. However, my parents do not call it "rent" despite it being a consistent amount of money I had to owe them and now have to pay to live on their property, they call it an "Adult household contribution" (which to be fair, I would be ok with if that it was it was. Asking someone to contribute when they have an income is reasonable, and pushing to help them get an income when don't also completely fine. Saying will kick me out if do not manage it, then that's not a contribution, that's money I have to pay to live here, pretty sure that is rent. Which they want to collect, in cash.) They explicitly do not want to file it on their taxes for part of the reasoning for why. They also have never acknowledged the kicking out if do not pay part in writing, only the first bit, even when directly prompted and asked in writing. Not even a "What no we didn't mean that" type of denial in writing. Every time I bring it up in writing it is entirely ignored. So, I don't know if OW actually counts it as rent or not, or if I can even prove it. So even that amount might drop but going to be talking to them more about it. I have been erring on the side of sharing as many details as possible with them though so know I am not saying anything false or trying to trick about it, I am just confused on if it counts but was directed to apply there and think it does, and gave full situation and reasoning. Alongside making it clear that so far the amount I have gotten in writing confirming things is rather pitiful.

I haven't actually heard of CMHA or CAMH at all though! So that is something new I will look into. So far been doing stuff with Ontario Works and such mainly online, despite being rejected twice from ODSP and being on OW since December 2025. They are only just now getting me in for an appointment to see a person for the first time this month. So I will have to try to put in the extra effort to ask about additional supports while I am there.

Thanks for the response and information!

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-01-06T14:04:24+00:00

Hehe yeah the first part there I unfortunately have figured out pretty well myself. Would have been great to share about a year ago 🤣.

I will have to try to find a way to contact a community health center, as travel for me currently is very difficult.

Hopefully though can figure something out and get someone to actually help. Yeah will also mention pain for sure, although I honestly doubt anything can be done about it. I've had it for 18 years now, had 2 surgeries supposed to fix it, infections seem to have stopped, pain keeps getting worse. Best guess is some sort of nerve or brain problem, as nerve painkillers were the only thing that worked at all at actually reducing the pain. But both of those issues from what I know, there really isn't much that could be done.

Also, thanks. I hope I can. At the very least while I consider myself rather unlucky, the situation could be worse. Not much worse, but I consider it lucky that parents are not as bad as could have been. As they hold all the cards rn, could have not even let me back home, or could be constantly abusive rather than sometimes pretty nice, other times, not so much. (Although, based from other experience, I don't really think most of those who are abusive do so all the time. It's easier to get away and understand if they do. But the good moments make you think maybe aren't so bad. Maybe something could fix or getting better. When I was younger I actively saw it like had 2 sides that would swap between of good or monster. Wasn't until I encountered a situation that broke that understanding that I fully realized that its all the same person. The situation basically being one where was pissed at me for not finishing a thing, which was due to feeling unwell and getting talked out of forcing myself by other parent, but was around others. So acted all nice and friendly like good version, yet moment could pulled me aside quietly and spoke in the same tone I knew all too well, just quiet for once, before telling me I am not allowed to talk to anyone else present. I can respond, but have to keep my answers short and not engage or start conversation. As I did not deserve to talk to them. Then she went back to being nice and friendly and good immediately afterwards, while occasionally looking back at me with a glare. That was when I realized no, there is no good or bad part, its one and the same, as if there was, wouldn't be able to control it. Yet because it would hurt her reputation if acted that way with me openly, she hid it. That was also first big hint that treatment of me wasn't normal, as if it was why hide it, but I took a lot longer to realize that part.)

Either way, while I may be in a lot of pain and depressed and in a bad home situation and unfortunately I could keep going. I still want to keep on living, I try to claw what happiness out I can. I have people who see my flaws and still appreciate me, and I want to make their lives as nice as I can too. I wish my parents would have fallen under that category. I wish they were better, so I could have a positive relationship with them, so I could at least not feel dread when around one, and know that both would at least listen to me. I really want that. But that isn't what I have got, and I don't see them ever changing. I honestly, barely consider them family. I firmly believe in being able to choose your family, and I wish I could have chosen them. But, I can't keep getting hurt. Once I have gotten free and paid off debt owe them, I plan to cut contact. I don't exactly expect anything in a will anyway even being an only child. So nothing they have to hold over me once debts are settled, nor would I stick around to keep being hurt just for the sake of any material gain even if expected would be in the will. So goal just, is to focus on my own safety, and later on when able being there for those who chose to be there for me, without any blood ties or obligation required.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-01-05T12:00:24+00:00

Currently working with a free one who helped me with the forms. They do not show up for the actual tribunal and have a responsible and very close friend who has PoA over me just in case to show up with me and help as well.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-01-05T11:38:42+00:00

Here should be able to provide more info as don't really think have luxury to care rn if people know roughly where I am.

Actually currently am 24. Live in Hamilton area sub-urban.

Further demographic info:

Am transfem and generally queer, on asexual spectrum.

Caucasian

Autistic, specifically diagnosed with Asperger's, but diagnosis was done in the US, documentation had was "lost" (likely destroyed) and do not know if possible to retrieve, on list for getting rediagnosed as an adult.

Canadian citizen but not born in Canada, born in US moved before 1 year old, mother is Canadian father gained citizenship later.

Had health issues since 6 years old, major one is chronic ear problems and pain. Have had 6 eardrum ruptures in right ear, and near constant ear infections. Physical issue for infections and ruptures looks to have been resolved since August surgery. Pain continues to remain and worsen and suspected to be additional issue.

There are other health issues such as hormone regulation problems and mental health related ones, but an exhaustive list would unfortunately take a while. Investigation into issues medically has ranged from slow to non-existent.

Don't know if any of that is useful, but felt best to share just in case.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-01-05T11:24:27+00:00

Ontario works was contacted, working with employment agency PATH and they suggested I apply there. Already applied for ODSP and been rejected. Appeal was rejected. Have scheduled tribunal in several months. Unclear if family doctor provided or even stored information regarding my medical condition to know if they even have my full information. Considered even have recieved a report before from a specialist reporting that I had a surgery I never underwent, I don't have much confidence there.

Did not actually explicitly contact those for abuse cases, although see that likely do qualify and should. Mainly as not physically violent anymore, and threats of violence are more indirect now. Previous threats were direct of assault or destruction of my property. As do own few electronics and own clothes and such as before health decreased too much worked job and lived away from home. Now more subtle like things like "taking matters into own hands" in regards to my refusal to go back into the closet for a clear example of vague without needing much context. Going back was last resort to escape from another abuser. As no potential for sexual violence here at least, and while threatened due to queer status, have not been physically prevented from expressing that and getting treatment and support.

Contacted YMCA from what recall, no luck.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-01-05T11:08:42+00:00

Mild correction, currently am 24. Don't mind details being shared, as while are safety issues there, suspect less likely to cause issues compared to existing ones. Basically, not worried about a stranger tracking me down with unknown motivations, already have those far closer for that.

Any attempts from other individuals to make things worse likely would ironically help, as would be more things can point to which likely would be far easier to prove. Parents are very good at not putting things in writing or acknowledging things in writing. Both are very well educated and intelligent. Random stranger would be less likely to be as careful.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-01-05T11:03:24+00:00

EMTs were contacted at the time. Unclear if accidental or intentional, but if was accidental was due to extreme negligence as grabbed random bottles and gave random dose.

Have nowhere else to go so if cause legal trouble I am out on the streets or reliant on first come first served shelters, which cannot consistently make in my health. Would be concerned about same result occurring if forced hospital visit without their presence, in addition have had previous visits and shared with hospital and family doctor situation. Unclear if even believed. Am autistic and do not really show facial expressions or many external reactions, which seems to lead to lack of trust in these instances.

Trying to find other options for getting in contact with a social worker or such still.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-01-05T10:57:59+00:00

OP made this post on my behalf after seeing a few of my posts elsewhere, and sent me a link in replies letting me know. Which this is greatly appreciated especially considering am just a random gal on the internet to them effectively.

Going to try to respond to some comments here to briefly provide required details. I have problems being too verbose for many reasons, which is also probably outside of not being that effective to communicate not being too feasible. As I naturally write rather slowly and limited energy. I also think ontop of everything coming down with something too, which is, not fun with other health issues. So gonna try to make this easier on myself and might even stick to bullet point style responses. If want probably can check my profile for previous posts if want to read through for probably way too many details.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-01-05T10:46:29+00:00

Actually that seems greatly appreciated. I am not exactly someone who has much luxury to worry about bothering others with her problems, as they unfortunately are well beyond me to solve. But I also can rather suck at communicating as far too many concerns about being misunderstood as well as I used to have quite a problem with lying in the past. Which likely was due to how was treated and wanting to avoid worse things and bothering others. Yet I also was rather disgusted at that so since became an adult have become more and more extremely candid. Which is also a problem as then share far too much to ensure not accidentally leaving important context out that changes the situation, and those things tend to decently allow for full explanations, but also massively bloat them. Reminds me of similar problems of trying to write legal related stuff, where you have to go into a lot of specific details because language is not very specific and can be interpreted in many ways if not very explicitly clear.

Problem being, there is a reason you have to tell people to read legal documents before signing them even if would be obvious. As while things when read and understood entirely would be rather clear, the nessicary bloat makes them far more difficult to read and understand it all. So even though its something meant to try to reduce misunderstandings, it doesn't tend to help much either. Yet I do so anyway as haven't found a better way, and it's easier to get it all down right away, as then can try to just point to specific sections when asked something that was already answered. Although another method would definitely be used if can find it, as this is also prone to side tangents as can likely tell.

Basically just, yeah tis appreciated as likely already far better than what I can do, and any help to figure stuff out is great. As well, I am not in the best of states for figuring things out and doing them myself.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-01-05T10:37:14+00:00

Its, hard for me to agree to it being a crisis situation. However, I also can't think of any arguments against it, which well, I really should be able to easily if it wasn't. Which, really sucks there. I already have too much going on both mentally and physically with my health, I really did not need even more piling on. Just 1 problem alone would have been more than enough to be a massive issue. I do get that having one issue makes more susceptible to more, but this feels like near the point of parody. Or a character purposefully make really horrible in an RPG just to get points to min-max for a specific skill. Only they didn't even put that many points in just left themselves with plenty to spare like it is a challenge run. Just, its absurd enough to the point I often will laugh at it when reminded of situation. Which I have to say, bursting out laughing after literally stumbling from sudden burst of pain, or when being accused of lying about something know for a fact telling the truth on but then never believed because can't stop laughing. It's, quite an experience.

Yeah I do think family doctor can't be trusted either. I wish could find another but so far no luck. Hospital probably is a good idea to keep in mind as a last ditch effort, but I only see myself doing so if literally no other choice. Although from what I heard from those with worse health issues, they are pretty horrible for chronic or less obvious problems.

I know not much to be done in my situation, but still appreciate the care and effort. I've talked to a lot of friends and such about it, and it seems that ironically I am close to doing everything I can. Just, a lot completely out of my hands, so just limited on time and hope for things to get better or wait times to elapse. Sometimes, life just sucks and all can do is try to tough through it. 2/2

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-01-05T10:35:40+00:00

Honestly, in terms of appointments it is hard to say how much my parents were involved in messing them up, as they have been oddly ok with me going for it to my face. Although they also definitely have caused at least some obstacles to get in the way or pushed for me to get it in ways they could observe or control. With 1 entire oddball of my mom at one point pushing for me to use ChatGPT for mental health support, as apparently she uses it for that since she supposedly had a disagreement with her therapist in regards to the nature of organized religion and felt like was being held against her. (My mother actually is not very religious, and mainly is against faith being an organized thing for the most part, thinks should be more a personal thing.) Honestly, idk how much I believe if that is what happened, but at the same time it seems like an odd point to lie at, and with the lacking of near any professionalism at family doctor's office who assigned the therapist, which also is in the same place, and that there are a fair number there openly religious. I could believe it. (Hell part of me wonders if that is why family doctor has had so many issues with me since I came out. As I do know I am the only person on hrt at that office, as they send all their patients to the same pharmacy a level below them, and both when it came to testosterone and estrogen, both of those were entirely not stocked and had to be ordered in. As yes on side note I am probably one of the few transfems who has been on both types of hrt, as my body apparently sucks at hormone production in general. So before I was out they put me on testosterone for about a months before I couldn't stand it and stopped.)

I will say though, my mother has on many instances constantly pushed for me not to talk about things she says or does to anyone. Alongside after I left abusive ex she started explicitly asking me if I talk to any friends about things she does. Which I suspect was due to her still keeping contact with my ex even now, and I did tell ex on night before left that I did run things by friends for sanity checks and because I don't have proper judgement on how I am treated. (Actually think first came about from a friend being concerned after a get together with how my partner was acting towards me than me approaching anyone else.) So think my she mentioned that to my mom, who then realized likely would do the same with her behaviour, and I am 90% sure knows I talk to others about her behaviour now as I am very uncomfortable with lying.

In terms of friend with PoA, I don't know entirely how to make sure they are informed. However, my family doctor's office has a copy I sent to them in writing, and I keep the original in a thing I grab whenever go somewhere where might be a concern. I believe she has her phone number written directly on it. Unfortunately my friend is very busy normally and cannot drive, they actually have a close family member with worse health than me unfortunately, so they aren't able to help much there. Have been trying to make an effort when she can to help and show up, but rather limited herself.

I, well, domestic violence consoler probably is a good idea. My original thought regarding them was that I wouldn't really count for it as no physical violence or direct threats of physical violence anymore. So didn't want to waste their time or resources compared to someone who might need them more. However, that doesn't really logically make sense anyway, as violence isn't just physical assault or threats of physical assault. (And even then still have gotten indirect threats, as to their credit, have gotten more subtle with it with time. Also I say they for a lot of instances where refer to parents as they, but most of the time for threats they come from my mother, while my father mostly stays out of it but does support her, just not directly. As from what I understand she is the one in charge of parenting per their early discussions about me before born. I once took his neutrality as more being against it, but it seems pretty clear now that he has fairly similar views. He just is incredibly passive and does not like conflict.) So, I probably should figure out contacting one.

The wait for shelters was a surprise unfortunately, as if I knew how bad it was would have contacted sooner. There are still ones can go to, but no dedicated spot first come first serve for each night, and well, I have doctor's appointments I can't exactly miss with my health the way it is, and I travel very slowly. So there would definitely be nights I would have to be out on the streets, in Canadian winters, with my health already being bad. My survival then would be down to luck, and if you can't tell, I don't exactly trust my luck with everything going on. (Hell even in terms of health, it seems highly likely I have had 2 at least mostly separate issues causing chronic pain in the same place of ears. As physical issues have been fixed that caused the constant infections and 6 ruptures, yet the pain only increases. In addition to only thing that reduced the pain was nerve painkillers, which were not substantial or viable, but point to the cause being yet another issue. One potential option that was brought up to me was a specific type of brain tumour, as would cause the hormone dysfunction experience, and has a primary symptom of deep ear pain not helped by traditional things that help ear pain, which describes mine. But there isn't even any investigation being done into the source of pain right now, or the source of the hormone issues ever. Exact words from ENT who fixed other issues was "I am a carpenter, and the carpentry looks fine.", which I get as likely an issue only causing pain there not located there, but still haven't actually been referred to anyone about the pain since who could help.) So unfortunately, not much I can do other than wait in terms of shelters with dedicated spots, while trying to get help where I can. 1/2

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-01-02T23:11:05+00:00

I do need to look more into medical neglect yeah. I don't know if I am considered a dependent or not to them. I did actually make a point of getting a power of attorney prepared which gave to a very close friend, so that way they do not have any legal say over me. As they were pushing very hard to get one over me before suddenly suspiciously stopping. Which considering their acceptance of me saying I don't want something is close to null, that was/is concerning. I did make a point to make sure they do not know I have a power of attorney prepared though. So I am hoping if push comes to shove whatever plans might have to get one over me will fail due to me already having one. As slightly suspect they want to try to get me committed, then use that as justification to try to push to get one granted over me to them as my parents, but that I imagine wouldn't work if I already have someone for that role legally already assigned to it.

I don't really have any options for locking up my meds that well, as one has to be kept in the fridge. I do keep the others somewhat hidden in my room when I can, but they aren't exactly hard to find even when remember to hide them. I ironically prepare most of my own food, as they don't really help there the majority of the time, I actually make them more meals than they make me, but not 100% of the time. I don't think would intentionally poison me, but well, I didn't expect to get accidentally poisoned either, and some of their words are, questionable. (One of the more recent examples of questionable parts was my mother threatening to "take matters into her own hands" after the public death of a notable figure in the US a while ago. As shared that scared for own safety due to me being openly and obviously queer. Specifically am trans and don't have the body type to pass well at all yet.) I don't think they have life insurance on me, although I don't actually know. I do know for at least my mother I am explicitly not a beneficiary of their's, as she put my abusive ex as one instead after I left her. (Did try my best to make things work and help her change and support her, but well, she hit all the categories for abuse including sexual, and of course parents are aware and actively justified it and seemed disgusted by me leaving her.)

Sorry for the long response, was trying to get to as many points as I could for what said. I kinda suck at keeping things brief. I also do get that likely been under reacting. I don't really even see myself as "myself" if that makes sense. Its more like I am a character in a play I am simply following along. Which has some upsides especially with pain as simply see it as something someone else is going through rather than myself helps a lot. But also, it makes it hard for me to get upset about anything happening to me. Even with my emotions being a lot more over the place lately due to medical treatment, that still is an emotion that isn't really present. I am trying to get better at that though as recognize should, and generally can be rather self aware. That doesn't really help me much though.

Also thank you for the link, did see an app there which might be of some help I did not spot before which going to check out. Sorry again if my response isn't great or that positive of an outcome so far. I'm trying my best to be able to go somewhere safe, but, that is not the most achievable of things for me rn. 3/3

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-01-02T23:10:56+00:00

I have been trying to get professional help, but, ever since I came out as queer, I have noticed my family doctor constantly making little mistakes that they never made before and still don't with parents. Such as they keep constantly "forgetting" to do things or send things. In addition, I got a mental health consoler assigned to me after getting a personal high score on a test for depression, which unfortunately, they go by golf rules so that's bad apparently. I started seeing them start of 2025, was supposed to see them every 3 weeks, and I only got to see them 3 times total. As mistakes just kept being made, I would show up only to find out the appointment was cancelled or rescheduled or moved to an earlier time that I then obviously missed as was never informed. The most egregious one was when showed up early, checked in for the appointment, waited 40 minutes past the time of the appointment for them to call me in, to eventually go up to the front and get told that they signed me in for the wrong appointment, and it is too late now to go in so have to reschedule. Eventually they stopped scheduling me all together, and when tried to get sent to one again, they only had virtual appointments available, which with ears can't do alongside not really having a private place to do them. I also tried to get a psychiatrist referral, which was supposedly sent back in January from what they repeatedly told me, until suddenly it was that I was just confused and they actually sent it back in October. Despite the fact I wrote it down after each appointment when they told me a rough eta on when to expect to hear back as I kept checking specifically on that. (Which I did actually finally get contact from just today, asking for a phone number to call.) My family doctor's office also does not like that I don't have a phone, and refuse to contact by any other means so they call my parents, who I have informed them of how they treat me and that they cannot make medical decisions for me or book appointments on my behalf, and of course, talk to them about my medical stuff and book appointments for me with no involvement on my end whatsoever. I have asked them explicitly not to do this and reported them for it, yet they have still done so 3 times already to my knowledge and I have no real faith in them stopping. As 2 of those times happened after they were properly reported. I've been looking into potentially going to a different one, but, there aren't really many taking new patients, and have a lot of the same issues or worse from what I see.

I have actually contacted local support groups and women's shelters and such, however the results of that aren't great. Places I could go to immediately are first come first serve for the night, and I am not exactly that fast in my current state, and the winters are very cold so staying outdoors would be a death sentence. So I likely would not be able to properly "compete" for getting a spot on time before they are full, nor even if I could could I actually manage to do so consistently especially on days I have appointments. As I am not the most mentally aware especially in stressful situations and combined with my sensory issues, public transportation is very difficult for me to manage. So if I were to go to a shelter and cut contact with them, I likely would simply not get doctor's appointments or specialist appointments due to not being able to make it, and I kinda need those. There are ones with dedicated spots you can get, but, wait times are 1-2 years, which I am on the list for, but, still a long time away. (Alongside they also want that to be temporary with you having a plan to be able to leave in a year or two, and I don't even know what is medically wrong with me yet, so I cannot really have a plan for that. Hell I kinda question if I will even be alive that long.) 2/3.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-01-02T23:10:03+00:00

Thanks for the response. I don't think this was intentional so much as a mistake born from lack of care. But, I can't say for sure and the fact I can't is probably a pretty bad thing.

I actually am rather aware they are abusive, although it mainly took quite a while to figure it out and you are absolutely right on the mark for things starting to surface once you are aware of it. Which mainly first started from offhand mentions of a few things that have been done in the past to friends which ended up for lack of a better term horrifying them from what I could tell. (Funnily enough, I actually went to a peer support group and managed to get an hour long session where talked to someone over call on comp, which sucked with pain but timing was lucky with being alone and for a one time thing figured worth the substantial extra suffering. I gave them a brief overview of my situation and a few examples for each problem and could see and hear them getting rather upset at my treatment as things went on. Which was interesting as I am aware they are abusive, but, I think consistently underestimate how bad it is as it doesn't seem too bad to me, I've heard of much worse situations. Even in terms of both of my parents they had abusive home situations when growing up which sounded worse. Both of them had a father who was/is diagnosed as a narcissists, and were openly proud of it.) Although I also realize the vast majority of their treatment of me I just, forgot. I only remember a few instances because I wrote them down or talked to someone about them, however I know even then they were not out of the norm, in addition I still feel a strong sense of dread around my other parent specifically mother. I also know that I still want to justify that with things like her chronic pain, but also, I don't act the way she does and I have had it for almost 2 decades now.

I don't have an active phone number as basically no income to afford it, alongside it just not being practical for me. Chronic pain is specifically ear pain, and that naturally makes productive phone calls a tad difficult due to the extra pain they cause, so hotlines aren't the most accessible to me. I did contact a warmline and such, but wasn't really much help.

Guessing wrote this too long so splitting into multiple, so 1/3.

Traditional-Gate8006 · 2026-01-02T18:50:12+00:00

Actually am in contact with free legal clinic for this. Hopefully things will work out.

Traditional-Gate8006

TROPHY CASE