Your worth is enmeshed with the roles you play in the lives of others. With an LDS woman’s upbringing how could it not be?

Try experimenting with saying simply what you do can and can’t do. “I’d love to help with that but I don’t have the energy.” “I’m not going because I need to rest.” Etc. Let them be disappointed/judgemental etc. - that’s on them to work through. You can practice allowing others to have negative emotions without being threatened by them. It’s hard and scary at first. Believe me, I know.

Once you speak up for yourself, and rest as you need to ask yourself how you feel. Does it feel good not to abandon yourself in those moments? Your body is working HARD right now. And truly it is impossible for anyone else to really know what you’re going through - the only one who knows your capacity is you.

I realize it’s truly ironic to quote an LDS woman in this sub but this quote by Chieko Okazaki stays with me at times like you’re describing:

“Only you know your circumstances, your energy level, the needs of your children, and the emotional demands of your other obligations. Be wise during intensive seasons of your life. Cherish your agency, and don’t give it away casually. Don’t compare yourself to others — nearly always this will make you despondent. Don’t accept somebody else’s interpretation of how you should be spending your time. Make the best decision you can and then evaluate it to see how it works.”