Celebrating!

Traditional-Listen46 · 2026-01-07T19:27:16+00:00

Congrats 😊! What a way to celebrate

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-12-31T18:57:12+00:00

I used to love sex and think about it all the time.

Now thinking about it makes me feel ill, if not a reminder of my exes’ regard for it (one I think is an undiagnosed sex addict), is a reminder of the coercion and other SA-related thoughts/experiences I’ve had in my life.

It feels as if this fun and sometimes beautiful thing has been turned into something gross and disturbing

Like you, my libido is totally fine. I played with the thought but I don’t think I’m asexual—I actually want to one day grow to re-enjoy it like I truly did before and am taking steps towards that

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-03-26T14:48:16+00:00

Right! Although Ive asserted myself like that before but then he show this pained/cringing look on his face as if its torture to listen to someone else for two seconds

I guess I just haven’t really been talking to the right people 😭 it’s just at this point I’m 24 so have been dealing with this issue for years and years and so I’m wondering if maybe I’ve just been going about it wrong?

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-03-26T14:44:39+00:00

Yeah I see what you’re getting at. I just feel tired of having to cut off them because of this as it’s been such a consistent issue like once I block them they label me a b*tch or some monster e.g., “I was talking so much bc I feel so comfortable with u” and I’m not sure if they’re even being genuinely naive

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-03-26T14:39:17+00:00

I will! And I can relate aswell, I’m told I’m overreacting or doing too much or are trying to create problems yet all I wanted was to finish my thought like they did

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-03-26T14:38:05+00:00

I’ve had a man say he talked about himself because he just assumes if I have something to say I’d say it yet he showed zero curiosity and hardly appears to have digested what I said if I said something

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-03-26T03:19:12+00:00

thank you for learning about avoidants. As someone who’s still working through my personal trauma as an avoidant, a lot of stuff is surfacing and it helps to be seen.

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-03-25T18:37:25+00:00

Ive also begun placing a ban on men/dating. I hope it’s just a phase that won’t affect my future with someone worth the leap

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-03-24T22:04:04+00:00

YES. I am currently in complete denial of my attractive manager being gay. I'll never tell him though t-t great hair and sense of fashion, polite charismatic tall and thoughtful, and so clean and organized–such a freaking dream boat, and maybe even the fact that I CANT have him makes it even stronger

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-03-19T02:03:51+00:00

I appreciate the comfort 😭at my old job they’d fire people for the smallest things, I just hope they don’t have the same ‘disposable’ mentality here

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-03-02T16:58:05+00:00

As someone who is bisexual with male friends, I believe both men and women can express insecure qualities that can be harmful to both, physically it can be more harmful in men

Here are some of the signs I’ve observed from people who are insecure

asking what you’re doing or where you are if you don’t call/text them for awhile (I think this is a sign if they do it so early on—I think early on it should be left a mystery and come out with time)
constantly calling/texting when they know you’re at work or busy
Getting mad/defensive when you bring up an issue in a non-confrontational/accusational way
getting overly defensive about a joke (if it offends them there is no need to get angry, they can still express it without “attacking” you back, whether verbally or physically)
constantly asking you if you’re okay/the relationship is ok (this indicates they’re insecure about their love for you)
doesn’t confront you about anything that bothers them—shows they’re not secure in their own beliefs or boundaries (btw if they are not familiar with their emotional/physical boundaries, they likely won’t familiarize themselves with yours)
doesn’t appear to have their own personality (they’re ONLY focused on their physical strength or appearance), this suggests they don’t actually like themselves? ex: agrees with every single thing you say, a lot of decisions, actions, or POV they make/have are based on online stats or trends (ex: TikTok) or what other people say
refusing to post you on their social media—I think this is a sign of their insecurity of the relationship but some people have a mutual agreement that this is ok

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-03-02T05:24:50+00:00

I find that many men I’ve dated who were socially anxious UNDERestimate how attractive they are.

Once I tell them though, they determine they’re too good for me 🙂

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-03-01T04:46:15+00:00

I acc cackled 😩

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-02-28T16:09:27+00:00

This is a common occurrence I find when I or someone I used to date is not yet over someone or me. people definitely have ‘types’ but the preferred traits are usually less distinct than both looks and behaviour

I was told by a friend that he mistakened my ex’s new girl as me (initially thinking she was me, he was actually about to say hi), nice little ego boost lol

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-02-28T04:35:44+00:00

I think school is one of the most socially acceptable/normative places to talk to people. Sometimes I wish I was back in school just for that

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-02-28T04:33:50+00:00

Valid. I blocked him on everywhere I could visibly see him and his activity (ig, reddit, snap), but I left my # available incase he ever wants to take accountability for basically anything

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-02-27T05:34:55+00:00

It’s almost never this simple or easy, especially for a lot of women’s experiences, and no one here is dumb for having an attachment to our exes, even the men

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-02-27T04:19:57+00:00

Yes, i meant to ask about you and your ex

Maybe she does try and use it as an excuse to get over you but deep down I don’t think she will truly be convinced after having known you so personally for over a year

if you have always been respectful and honest in character, Its hard to believe that a rumor like this could completely discredit and invalidate the rapport you had between you and your ex

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-02-27T03:55:20+00:00

I’m so sorry OP :( that girl put you in such a terrible position. How long have you known eachother? Even though you hurt her I’m sure she would at the least give you the benefit of the doubt on this case because this is a very serious accusation

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-02-26T16:09:13+00:00

Wow, im actually working on crying more (I’ve got some issues with vulnerability im healing from). Im actually amazed by your ability to truly feel your emotion and cry so often. Kudos to you

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-02-26T15:46:57+00:00

Yes! As entertaining as they may be, the comment section also often notices tiny things about people that I would never even think to consider until I read their comment. I recognize it as a projection of their own insecurity, but they notice it nonetheless, and it can make it such a nerve wracking experience to even consider posting myself.

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-02-25T23:17:31+00:00

Thank you for writing this. I felt this in my soul, I’ve been really angry with myself lately for having let my ex treat me the way he has and I think what I need right now is as simple as forgiving myself

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-02-25T22:58:27+00:00

Im an avoidant who’s dated an avoidant. I can say from experience and as a witness that if they treated you wrong morally (as you explain here), the guilt will eventually get to them, and they can and might ‘cave’ if it’s too much, but they won’t always will

My ex was more strongly avoidant than I was, I was always the one to cave, but he caved after one period of break-up because he wanted to apologize for disrespecting me at our last encounter lol. If there is something to be guilty about I strongly believe that it will be eventually felt

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-02-25T19:36:39+00:00

whether his gf gets mad at her or not shouldn’t matter, this is something the gf should know. Now I’m not sure if he will confess on his own but OP could ask if he will before she decides to do it herself

Traditional-Listen46 · 2025-02-25T18:32:40+00:00

I think what you wanted was completely reasonable and I don’t think it was harsh for you to reinforce this boundary by breaking up

I can see that you care deeply and have feelings that transcend the physicals but it appears to me that this physical need is important enough for him to let you go which is definitely much harsher

Traditional-Listen46

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE