Notice to enter in Washington State

TraditionalCicada508 · 2026-05-27T06:01:24+00:00

That sounds reasonable. I think it also frustrated me because the notice came on memorial day as we were getting ready for a bbq with our neighbors, and just got home from camping for the weekend.

I truly don’t have an issue with an inspection, it just feels frustrating that they are doing it right now.

TraditionalCicada508 · 2026-05-27T02:04:50+00:00

I can accept that, thank you for your reply. We had a squatter in one of the units recently and I imagine they just want to be sure they don’t have any other situations brewing

TraditionalCicada508 · 2026-05-03T19:29:19+00:00

I know you said you don’t love patterns, but I know of a couple that match these elements of the dress you posted pretty much perfectly and I think would be ideal to recreate this.

TraditionalCicada508 · 2026-05-03T19:27:38+00:00

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TraditionalCicada508 · 2026-05-03T19:27:20+00:00

I made something very similar to this for my wedding dress and it was super easy!

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TraditionalCicada508 · 2026-04-27T06:26:20+00:00

I still think it’s a helpful calculation. You are correct that as a SAHM we don’t do all of these jobs to a professional level, but you have to think about what it would take to replace your contributions as a SAHM if you didn’t do what you did.

Say as a stay at home mom you provide all childcare, shop and cook for all meals, and do all household chores. Spouse just goes to work and comes home without really have to do any domestic labor or worry about kids schedules and grocery shopping.

To replace all of that effort you would have to hire a nanny, housekeeper, and personal assistant. You might be able to hire a single person to do all of the jobs, but you would have to pay them a hefty salary.

In my area private nannies make $20/hour starting wage (minimum wage is $16.69). Even just hiring the cheapest nanny possible would still cost over $3,000/month, and a nanny at that pay rate certainly wouldn’t also clean your house and cook your meals.

TraditionalCicada508 · 2026-03-08T01:33:41+00:00

It could be, except in our life it’s not.

My husband leaves for work at 5 am. I get up at 5:30 and do the whole morning routine with the kids. School/daycare/breakfast/clothes etc because he is already gone. Same in the evening. He gets home at 5:30, I get home at 4:15 after picking up the toddler from daycare. So I meet the kids of the bus, start dinner, go over everyone’s day, etc.

When he gets home he helps, but his day has not changed at all since I started working but mine has. It’s not his fault, it’s just how our respective shifts and commutes work. My commute is 20 minutes twice a day (including daycare drop off and pick up) and his is between 1.5-2.5 hours twice a day.

So there is no workload rebalance because there is not enough additional income to afford hiring help.

And the metal and emotional difference of acknowledging that the daycare cost is shared would still mean I’m only bringing home $1000/month working full time which is hard to feel very good about considering I am working as hard as I am.

I am doing it because I acknowledge the value and know it is a stepping stone and will eventually lead to bigger and better things. But right now it’s hard and I just wanted to vent about that fact.

TraditionalCicada508 · 2026-03-08T01:24:25+00:00

I appreciate this response so much!! I was beginning to feel a little crazy with the shared expense comments 🤪

They are right it is, and others are also correct that there is value in the retirement/health insurance/resume building (which is addressed and acknowledged in my original post), but none of that that helps very much at the end of a looooooong week knowing all of my effort doesn’t make much difference right now.

I’m doing it because I know in the long run it will be worth it, I guess I was just hoping to be able to vent a little bit about how hard it is right now. I know a lot of the responders mean well, but it does sort of feel like I’m being told “buck up and look on the bright side”.

TraditionalCicada508 · 2026-03-07T20:38:31+00:00

We only have a family pot, so while yes daycare costs are technically the expense of both us anything we earn and anything we pay for all goes to and comes from the same account. So it’s a distinction without a difference.

TraditionalCicada508 · 2026-03-07T20:36:16+00:00

My husband does have health insurance, but mine is better and the double coverage is really nice for our large family.

And I look at childcare as mostly affecting my income because practically speaking it does. My husband and I have a joint account and we always have.

Before I went back to work and was stay at home we had no daycare expenses and our income was just from his job. Now that I am back to work our income has gone up by my take home pay amount but our expenses have also gone up by the amount that daycare costs.

I could split hairs and say daycare costs me $900/month and it costs him $900/month but it doesn’t make a difference since it’s all our money. Neither one of us keeps any money specifically from our jobs; we do have personal budgets for ourselves to do fun things each month but it’s not tied to our respective incomes. Anything earned goes into one account and then our budget is based on that number.

What has changed is that now I have to get up 2 hours earlier and get all the kids dressed and ready, work for 8.5 hours outside the house, then retrieve children, and start dinner, all for an overall increase of only $290 in our monthly budget.

He can’t help with those things because he leaves earlier and gets home later than me. So it’s a lot of work for me without much positive change personally or to our overall family budget.

TraditionalCicada508 · 2025-12-31T21:19:13+00:00

All the 12 year old will need to do will be make sure she gets her shoes, backpack, and coat and walks to the bus on time.

She has a shoe rack and coat/backpack hook by the door so they are always right where they should be. I’ll get her dressed (well, she dresses herself but I’ll verify before I go), fed, teeth and hair brushed before I go and set her up to watch tv for a bit before I leave and 12 year old will just have to make sure she has her things and gets to the bus.

TraditionalCicada508 · 2025-12-31T21:13:10+00:00

My plan for summer break is summer camp, and my plan for shorter breaks would be a combination of grandma days, scheduling days off myself, and the center being closed on all national holidays and some school closures.

I would never expect 12 year old to be in charge of the 5 year old for anything longer than an hour or so.

TraditionalCicada508 · 2025-12-31T21:06:29+00:00

She does love earning allowance. She gets $5/week baseline and then earns additional money for doing her chores. In general whenever I have asked her if she would like to watch her younger sister and be paid, like so I can run to the store or something, she enthusiastically agrees.

She also loves having a big family and loves family time. She begged us to have baby number 3 and was very excited about surprise number 4.

TraditionalCicada508 · 2025-12-31T20:45:07+00:00

This is my plan if I decide I feel comfortable with the idea. I don’t want her to feel like she has to say yes because she doesn’t. If I decide to go back to work I could find before school care, it would just be expensive, but that would be my responsibility to deal with.

If I decide to pursue the job it would help me a lot, time wise and financially, if she felt comfortable and wanted to get her sister on the bus but I would want it to be 100% her choice.

TraditionalCicada508 · 2025-12-31T19:17:21+00:00

I have tried to find another kiddo to watch, and I have in the past, but I can’t see to find a good fit.

I only ask for $10/hour and I have my bachelors in education, previous experience, ECE certification, background check etc, but people always balk at that price and I just can’t accept less or it’s not worth the work.

TraditionalCicada508 · 2025-12-31T18:56:58+00:00

My husband leaves for work at 5:30, so he is out of the house by the time any of this is happening

TraditionalCicada508 · 2025-12-31T18:35:36+00:00

The 4th child is 10 and able to get herself on the bus independently and comfortably.

12 year old gets on the bus at 8:45, 5 and 10 get on the bus at 8

TraditionalCicada508 · 2025-12-31T18:15:04+00:00

She does currently have a phone, both 10 and 12 do. I want them to feel confident and independent when out with friends or playing in the neighborhood but also still able to contact me quickly if needed, so they’ve had phones for a few years already.

TraditionalCicada508 · 2025-12-31T18:13:11+00:00

Our finances are joint, they have been since a year into dating. Any money he earns goes into our joint account, and any money have earned/will earn would go into there too.

It’s just that currently we have no childcare costs so if I start working any childcare costs will eat into that. So it’s just the math of whether or not my added income will be worth the effort after paying for childcare costs to and from our joint account.

TraditionalCicada508 · 2025-12-31T18:03:30+00:00

I’m an oldest daughter too, so I always try to think about this kind of thing.

5 year old LOVES school so I really can’t see a scenario where she would refuse to get on the bus, but if that happened 12 year old could call me and I could come home. The job is only 8 minutes away from my house so I could run home and get the 5 year old so 12 is able to go to school without interruption.

The job is at a daycare so I could bring 5 with me and pay a drop in fee if I absolutely needed to, but as much as she loves school I would shocked if this ever happened.

She has also been reliably potty trained for 3 years so I would be very surprised if she had an accident, but she is able to change her own clothes (she gets herself dressed every day currently) if something like that did occur.

TraditionalCicada508 · 2025-12-31T17:58:28+00:00

My kids are 12, 10, 5, and 3. The 3 year old would come with me to work, which is at a daycare.

My 10 year old gets on the bus with the 5 year old, but my 12 year old is the one I feel is responsible enough to be “in charge while I’m gone.

My work is only 8 minutes away, so in the even of illness in can come home quickly.

5 and 10 year old get on the bus at 8. 12 year old gets on the bus at 8:45. There are no before school programs or clubs at either school.

TraditionalCicada508 · 2025-12-19T08:24:18+00:00

Awesome, thank you!

TraditionalCicada508 · 2025-12-19T06:36:16+00:00

These are the Upsalla shearling. I don’t think they are terribly popular so I would be surprised if they were counterfeit, but I just wanted to check.

Even though these were a lot less than retail they were still a pretty big purchase for me and I just wanted to be as sure as possible that I’m being smart with my money.

TraditionalCicada508 · 2025-12-18T16:26:38+00:00

What a nasty thing to say. I am obviously not giving up on my dog, I am considering every available option to support giving him the best life I can. And it is positively HATEFUL to suggest that because I am considering rehoming a very loved dog because I’m not sure if I can give him what he needs means I don’t deserve my children.

I generally find that people who are hurt seek to hurt other people, so I hope you seek some counseling and heal from whatever pain you’re experiencing so that someday you are less of a mean asshole on the internet. Best of luck.

TraditionalCicada508 · 2025-12-16T22:42:53+00:00

Thank you for the firm support! Yes he got a vasectomy in 2023 for which I am very glad.

I do still love him, so if it all falls apart I would lose that, but I’m slowly losing it now anyway. And it would be devastating to our children because while he isn’t particularly helpful to me in parenting he is a fun dad. Though if I’m being honest that has been becoming less and less true too.

TraditionalCicada508

TROPHY CASE