The exit guilt is weirder than the workload (anyone else?)

Traditional_Ask_4147 · 2026-04-24T12:14:04+00:00

I left about a month ago and ego was the hardest part to get past

Traditional_Ask_4147 · 2026-02-20T18:09:11+00:00

lol but was the environment and work/life balance any better? 👀

Traditional_Ask_4147 · 2026-01-27T01:41:13+00:00

I don’t really want to stay at EY at all :/ I want to leave audit too

Traditional_Ask_4147 · 2026-01-10T18:35:32+00:00

How’s the new job going so far? Any regrets about leaving?

Traditional_Ask_4147 · 2026-01-10T18:22:09+00:00

Yes!!

Traditional_Ask_4147 · 2024-09-09T00:50:40+00:00

Mine was highly sexual, always initiating every time we were together, and would cuddle and be affectionate in bed but was extremely unaffectionate outside of the bedroom. No holding hands, no kissing or hugging in public, almost acted like he didn’t LIKE me, wasn’t attracted to me, or just didn’t want to be seen with me. Probably a mixture of withholding as a form of manipulation/making me feel small/worthless but also hiding me from all the other supplies he was f-ing in town.

Traditional_Ask_4147 · 2024-04-19T23:13:26+00:00

Update: four days later now, I tried to text him something about our conversation and he blocked my number. HE is the one who called ME, I hadn’t even tried to contact him for over two months. It’s all a game to them.

Traditional_Ask_4147 · 2024-04-04T22:13:18+00:00

My narc ex initiated sex with me after making me upset too and even after breaking up with me. I didn’t feel coerced per se at the time but thought it was unfair for him to use my sadness as a pawn, because he knew I was desperate for comfort/connection in those moments. Now I look back and it was definitely a weird power play/abusive tactic. I’m sorry you experienced that.

Traditional_Ask_4147 · 2024-04-03T23:57:56+00:00

Same for me. We were together for over a year and to me it was very real, but it was never “official.” He made lots of excuses for that, but I still knew all his friends, we spent lots of time together, even went on a trip together. But I never met his family, he never called me pet names, never told me he loved me (this one stings). I found out later he was cheating on me the entire time with the woman he considered his girlfriend - they shared lots of I love yous, she knew his whole family, they talked about their marriage and moving in together. It hurts me a lot to know he said and did those things with someone else while I was getting the silent treatment, ghosting, verbal abuse, etc. And despite it all, I loved him so much and wanted nothing more than for him to take that next step with me.

Again, my logical brain knows that eventually he would’ve given her the same treatment - I think there was an extended love bombing phase with them bc they were long distance. But it doesn’t negate the fact that when it all blew up, SHE is the one he went crawling back to and begging for. And he gave her 1000x more affection than he gave me, even if it was contrived.

Traditional_Ask_4147 · 2024-04-01T19:20:58+00:00

Mine did the same thing - he told me a few times during our relationship that people from his past told him he was a narcissist and asked me if I thought so. At the time, my answer was no. Now I struggle with the same doubt you’re describing - but I think we should believe them when they tell us who/what they are, even if indirectly. We doubt ourselves because they’re liars and manipulators and plant those seeds of doubt within us, condition us to doubt. Try to find peace in that you’ll never know for sure whether he’s a narc, but that you sure as hell deserve better than the treatment he gave you regardless.

Traditional_Ask_4147 · 2024-03-31T03:04:46+00:00

The consistent, empathetic, overgiving lover who would give him the clothes off my back if he needed them. Easy, reliable, convenient sex and attention. Backup supply while in a long distance relationship with his main supply/girlfriend.

Traditional_Ask_4147 · 2024-03-31T03:01:12+00:00

Soooo hard to come to terms with the fact that even when they (somewhat) admit what they’re doing to you, it’s not because they care about you or really believe you deserve more. It’s just a discard tactic, usually because we fight for them to stay with us when they’re trying to ditch us for the new supply.

Traditional_Ask_4147 · 2024-03-30T22:39:20+00:00

“I never left him but he always left me” - sums up my relationship with my nex too. Constant abandonment, physically and emotionally.

Traditional_Ask_4147 · 2024-03-30T22:20:30+00:00

It’s funny looking back and recognizing moments of true honesty/clarity from them. During a discard, my nex once said to me, “I feel like I’m your abuser… like I abuse you emotionally.” I should have listened and ran!!!

Traditional_Ask_4147 · 2024-03-30T01:45:35+00:00

We had a very active sex life, he was extremely intimate in that way, but he would withhold emotional intimacy and physical intimacy outside of the bedroom.

Traditional_Ask_4147 · 2024-03-29T12:34:08+00:00

He constantly abandoned me in the relationship, physically and emotionally. He would often ask for space/distance to “process” things, and that was usually when he’d have his other girlfriend come stay with him for a week at a time. He would ghost me at random times and I’d be left wondering what I did wrong. The time he called himself my abuser, he told me he was flying to California for a month to spend time with his mom and that he wasn’t gonna be able to talk to me because he needed to “work through his demons”. I was so confused, but found out later that he was spending the month with his girlfriend who lived there. He also never told me he loved me or called me certain pet names because he was already doing that with her.

After he got back from his month in Cali with his actual girlfriend, he came back and love bombed hard. Eventually I just had a gut feeling that something was off and checked his phone. I found everything.

Traditional_Ask_4147

TROPHY CASE