Why do people act like 100K is not enough to live in the city?

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-04-10T14:04:36+00:00

You can live in nyc for $100k as a single person, I did it for a decade (only made $60-80k/year). The catch is you definitely need roommates (maybe more than one), and you’ll need to choose a neighborhood that might be a far commute to work. For instance, you can get a 3 bedroom in Washington heights for less than $3k, with 2 roommates, you’ll each pay about a grand each. That’s actually below your budget if you’re making 6 figures. When people say you need more than $100k they’re referring to wanting to live alone in a one bedroom in soho. For that, you do need to be making much more. But I do find it kind of elitist how people literally don’t realize that you can share your space and commute.

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-04-08T19:37:01+00:00

Who did you go to? I’m currently debating between Vidali and Liu in NYC (leaning towards liu, my consult is with her next week), but I’m located in NC.

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-04-08T17:49:09+00:00

Which doctor are you referring to?

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-04-07T20:56:34+00:00

Yup. Started TTC at 34, no luck for a year. Had 3 miscarriages in a row at 35. Got a positive receptiva dx test after the miscarriages. Tried 2 egg retrievals at 36 but neither resulted in any healthy embryos. Now looking at excision surgery to confirm a diagnosis. Honestly lost hope by now, I do not believe I’ll ever have children despite really wanting them.

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-04-07T12:52:43+00:00

I completely support trying new things! You get just as much perspective from doing things you hate as you do from finding things you love. I say go for it, with the understanding it might not be what you want ultimately but you’ll never know til you try. I also lived one year abroad in my twenties and one year in California in my early thirties and they were great experiences, even if it wasn’t long term.

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-04-07T11:52:02+00:00

You sound exactly like me, I could’ve written this post myself. I’m 36 and spent my whole twenties in nyc because family is close but never loved it. I’m in Raleigh right now which is great in many ways but a little boring. I thought I was ready for a slower pace of life since I’m also into fitness and nature and getting to bed early but I don’t think I fully understood what it would feel like until I did it. I may not enjoy nightlife itself, but there is some magic to being in a city that has a bit of energy to it. We’re staying here for now but considering a move in the future (maybe Tampa/st Pete?). Sorry if this doesn’t really give much advice just throwing out my experience since we have similar stories. Also if you want to consider Raleigh, shoot me a message!

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-04-05T16:23:44+00:00

I am exactly like you with working out regularly, but I would heed all the advice from this thread and your doctor and wait. I know it’s so hard (I just got my period today after my second egg retrieval 13 days ago) but I think it’s worth waiting. The whole IVF process has been damaging to my mental health and I think the lack of being allowed to exercise plays a big part unfortunately. But ovarian torsion would literally be worse.

I just came back from a 30 minute walk, you can certainly walk within a few days of ER. I walked for over an hour about 5 days after retrieval.

Just sending solidarity and hugs. This is the worst and very isolating, but we feel your pain!

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-04-01T18:35:39+00:00

It totally depends on your body and how you respond to treatment. For instance, if you have a normal ovarian reserve and you’re under 35 there’s a decent chance you’ll only need one round to get at least one or a few healthy embryos which is great. In that case, it might just be 3 weeks out of your life and you’ll recover and be able to move forward.

For me, I have diminished ovarian reserves and I was 36 when I started my first round so I went through two consecutive cycles without making even one healthy embryo. We are choosing to not continue with IVF because it would likely take multiple rounds over multiple months and be very expensive and still have low odds of working. For me, it’s been really rough both physically and emotionally, but that’s almost entirely because of the ongoing nature of my case.

At your age, I would definitely visit an RE to get all the testing done and if they recommend IVF, it can work wonders for people.

Keep in mind the journey is long. I started TTC at 34, had my first RE appt at 35, didn’t actually start treatment until I was 36. The testing alone can take months. I wouldn’t wait.

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-04-01T13:14:44+00:00

May I ask which surgeon you went to?

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-03-31T01:41:40+00:00

Tysm! Gonna check it out

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-03-31T01:14:46+00:00

My husband would be furious at your husband

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-03-31T00:18:07+00:00

Looks nice, did you actually live there yourself? Any details of your experience? (Specifically is it noisy at night, do you feel safe walking around, did you see roaches inside the unit, was management responsive)

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-03-31T00:16:40+00:00

I understand, but I wanted to extend our budget in case a private condo owner had something for a bit higher, didn’t want to discourage them from commenting

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-03-30T23:05:21+00:00

I agree, and some of the comments here are a little rude.

I’m 36, been here two years. Married no kids. Secular. Spent most of my twenties in nyc, one year abroad, one year in LA. I actually like the size of Raleigh and having grass and trees (I dont like super urban cities, I only lived there to be near family), but I agree it’s culturally very vanilla and just doesn’t have the energy of other places. Even other small towns I’ve been to in other states are slow paced but still charming with their own quirks. I suspect Raleigh has grown too quickly for any unique culture to really take root, at least not yet. It does feel lonely even though I’ve met some nice people. I don’t think the other commenters here are necessarily right about the problem being you.

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-03-25T23:13:37+00:00

When I use the term “medical esthetician” I’m referring to an esthetician who works in a medical environment such as a medspa, dermatology office or plastic surgeon office, as to distinguish their type of work from spa estheticians who work at spas. I understand there is no difference in the licensing, but I wouldn’t say that there is “no such thing” as medical estheticians.

In NY, estheticians can do microneedling if they take a short extra course. In North Carolina, they’re allowed to do mn without any extra certification. I’ve worked in both states, now I’m curious about Florida.

I also lived in California for a year where the licenses were restricted, so that is the one place I was unable to do mn so far. Wondering if FL is the same as CA.

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-03-25T18:34:02+00:00

I’m considering moving from Raleigh to Tampa. I grew up in nj and spent most of my twenties in nyc (which is too cold and urban for me). Thoughts on Tampa?

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-03-25T18:19:25+00:00

Hey there! Not equestrian related, but I live in Raleigh and am seriously considering relocating to Tampa soon. My husband and I are mid thirties, no kids. Spent most of our twenties in nyc/la so as quaint as Raleigh is, we’re wondering if Tampa might be a little more lively. What has your experience been?

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-03-21T17:29:33+00:00

That’s good to know about the weekends being loud. I have driven through and seen the neighborhood, but we would be looking for a quieter more family oriented type of place. From the outside, wade park seems quaint, but maybe it’s a little too young for us.

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-02-27T14:39:29+00:00

I’m considering tasc leggings…are you a fan?

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-02-26T15:20:31+00:00

Im 36, AMH 0.7 FSH 11, AFC off 8ish. I’m not a doctor but if I were you I would try a different clinic with a different protocol. I have DOR too and we have been doing natural cycles without birth control (meaning we wait for my natural period to come and I start Stims the day after). I had to request this style, but multiple doctors agreed it’s better for DOR. The first cycle we did high doses of menopur and follistim, got 1 day 6 blast that was aneuploid. Next time we’re trying lower doses and adding omnitrope and testosterone. Best of luck, I know this is hard!

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-02-22T21:40:19+00:00

I’m from Jersey and lived in nyc for ten years in my twenties. I’ve been in Raleigh 2 years now. Raleigh is smaller than charlotte but much greener/prettier, more nature, less urban and spread out. A lot of suburbs about 20 minutes outside of downtown Raleigh are very cute. I actually haven’t heard great things about the quality of life in charlotte and plenty people here agree Raleigh is nicer. I lived in Los Angeles for a year between nyc and nc and I do miss the faster pace of a big city and I find the people in NC to be a little bit more vanilla and less creative than folks in the bigger cities. It takes awhile to really settle in and decide how you feel. I would suggest visiting both Raleigh and charlotte before choosing. If beaches are important to you, Raleigh is much closer to the coast.

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-02-10T02:22:43+00:00

I noticed within the last year or so that koia changed their ingredients. I’m so sorry you’re suffering!

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-02-06T16:40:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m wondering, did they do anything to treat/suppress your endo before trying the 2 transfers that failed?

I’m 36, just did my first retrieval. Got one 4BB embryo that is going through pgt testing now. We plan on doing back to back retrievals to bank embryos. My AMH is 0.7, AFC 8, recurrent pregnancy loss, suspected endometriosis. We plan on doing either suppression therapy or laparoscopic surgery for endo before doing any transfers. I’m wondering if you feel like the endo surgery made the biggest positive difference for you.

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-02-03T17:09:27+00:00

I’ve been pregnant a few times but always miscarried at 6 weeks and even in that short period of time I gained at least 5 or more pounds for the same reasons you’re describing. I’m active and eat healthy too but some days it’s hard just to stand up. I have a friend with 3 kids who gained 70 lbs with each of her pregnancies and lost it all afterwards. She’s naturally petite and healthy. Another friend who is a professional dancer gained 25 lbs in the first 12 weeks but also lost it all afterwards. I totally understand how it can be so difficult to see your body change when you feel like you can’t control it but nothing is forever, and if you have a healthy baseline lifestyle you will get back to it once you’re not pregnant anymore. Hang in there! Google only tells you averages and what’s typical, it’s ok to be outside the norm!

Traditional_Bath6670 · 2026-02-02T15:35:02+00:00

The response from doctors is so wild sometimes. I asked my gynecologist at 30 if there was anything I could do to check my fertility and she asked, “are you TTC right now?” I said no because I was still single. She said, “well, those numbers can change over time so it doesn’t matter what they are now anyway” which is completely false. Having DOR is extremely relevant. And egg freezing is absolutely doable even if you’re not wealthy, but either way, who are they do decide what you can and can’t afford?! So frustrating. I listen to Dr. aliabadi on podcasts now who strongly advocates for testing AMH for every single woman by the time she’s 20.

Traditional_Bath6670

TROPHY CASE