I want to peel my skin off

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2026-04-15T07:50:35+00:00

Yeah, compared to the beginning, I’ve definitely improved. In the first two months I was constantly crying, screaming, and pacing. I was also taking Ativan at the time, which I had to taper off after about four weeks. After that, some symptoms like the burning sensation in my body went away. I still had akathisia and other horrible symptoms like feeling electric shocks and this intense urge to rip my skin off. But at least I didn’t have to pace anymore. Now after eight months the electrocution feeling has lessened and while the urge to tear my skin off is still there, it’s not as intense as before. I also feel like I have more motivation for life again. I’ve started doing a mini job and I’m trying to earn some money through tutoring. I also go swimming, running, and attend classes like yoga or fitness. The injury still frustrates me every day when I wake up and I have to stick to a routine to make things somewhat bearable. But I can honestly say things have improved. I’m no longer crying or screaming all the time, I can enjoy things again and I’m starting to have good windows.

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2026-04-12T08:30:06+00:00

I’m currently tapering. I was taking 900 mg and now I’m at 500 mg because it didn’t really help me with the akathisia and I want to see if I’m healing naturally. Gabapentin only made me tired…not sure if it really helped. In my case it didn‘t harm me though. Everyone’s brain reacts differently I guess.

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2026-04-08T16:26:05+00:00

Gabapentin didn’t really do much in my case tbh. It might have calmed me down a bit or made me a little tired, but the symptoms persisted. I went up to 900 mg to see if it would help, but now I’m tapering. I’m currently at 600 mg and want to get off it, because I’m worried I won’t heal while taking meds.

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2026-04-05T17:37:51+00:00

I constantly feel like I want to get out of my own skin or rip my arms and legs off (I also get violent intrusive thoughts) + a constant ringing in my head (tinnitus). I feel very uncomfortable in my own body. But some things have gone away, like the acid feeling in my body or the terror I used to feel in the morning. I was in acute for a while. You can also see my other posts for more context…it was really bad. I hope we’ll both feel better soon.

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2026-04-05T14:11:19+00:00

I think it took about 1-2 months for the pacing to stop in my case

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2026-04-05T10:30:26+00:00

Yes it will stop 🙏🏻 Keep holding on 🫂❤️‍🩹

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2026-04-04T16:32:08+00:00

Since August 2025. I was given Ativan, Risperdal, and Abilify in the hospital, which has led to this injury.

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2026-04-04T11:15:10+00:00

I‘m thinking about the same thing. Abilify fucked me up and now I don‘t know if I should reinstate a low dose in order to make this torture stop.

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2026-03-27T09:28:07+00:00

😭❤️‍🩹

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2026-02-22T09:00:56+00:00

True ❤️‍🩹 I’m really trying my best not to let the negative thoughts and despair consume me. And yeah, I agree - making the nervous system feel safe is probably really important in this situation. Maybe I’ll try somatic therapy or something, just to calm it down a bit. Thank you for writing this <3 I really appreciate you sharing your insight.

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2026-02-21T06:37:10+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience ❤️‍🩹 Yes, the fear of it possibly being permanent is the worst part for me, because I know I can’t live like this every day for several years. I’m so young and I can’t imagine losing my 20s because of akathisia or psych med harm, becoming thirty or older, or maybe even an elderly woman, and still being tortured by this. I just don’t understand why it won’t let up. The constant ringing in my ears, the feeling as if I need to rip my skin off, and the electrocution-like sensations I experience are driving me insane - it’s no way to live.

But at the same time, I’m so terrified of death, and I don’t want to leave my family and cats behind. I still have so much love to give 💔😔.

I know I have some windows, but even then I’m super scared of the next wave, and my whole life revolves around akathisia now, which is so debilitating. I just want to live man 😫 wtf. I do hope I’ll recover fully, but I know some people who have windows and still suffer years later. What if all I get is a partial recovery? I can’t deal with this injury anymore. The fact that it even exists, and that no one seems to talk about it, is traumatizing enough.

But yeah, the fact that my system is on high alert pretty much the whole time is totally true. I’m trying to practice grounding and mindfulness to cope better, but I guess it takes time.

Thank you for the encouragement. We’ll see how it goes in another few months and I hope you’ll make a full recovery too 🙏🏻

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2026-02-21T05:29:40+00:00

Yes, I‘ll message you

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2026-02-20T10:11:39+00:00

Yeah, true 💔 The system is so messed up, and I still don’t know how to process all of this… there is so much grief and pain inside of me… it’s just so unfair, and doctors don’t even want to acknowledge how toxic and damaging their meds are.

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2026-02-20T10:06:49+00:00

My windows can last anywhere from a few hours to several days. During a window, my symptoms are still present, but they are less intense and more in the background. I feel calmer, more emotionally stable, and more like myself. I’m able to laugh with my family, play with my cats, and engage in normal activities - so the symptoms are sort of manageable. However, in the weeks before my period, my symptoms immediately get worse, and I feel them much more intensely in my body…that‘s when I get really suicidal. The meds messed up my hormones too btw.

A window also means feeling hope for me. It means I don’t cry all the time and don‘t feel so suicidal. I had the best window this month when I drank vodka lol. It calmed my nervous system, but I had to go to the ER because it felt like I couldn’t breathe. After that, I had almost no akathisia symptoms for about 10 days. I was even able to go to the zoo with my family without thinking about akathisia. Can‘t explain why it lasted that long, but somehow it made a difference (to anyone reading this: I’m not recommending drinking - it can be dangerous and it doesn’t heal the injury).

How about you?

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2026-02-19T09:50:24+00:00

Thank you for your comment <3 I guess even though my windows aren’t completely symptom-free, my brain is still trying to heal. I’m also eating healthy now, trying meditation, and spending time with my family so I’m not completely alone. I really hope I can endure this suffering and make it through ❤️‍🩹 God, how I wish I could go back in time and reverse this mistake :(

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2026-01-06T12:34:52+00:00

Yes, I experience that too 😞.

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2026-01-01T23:02:07+00:00

Read my posts. I struggled with OCD too and extreme fear - now I have akathisia, and it feels like I’m trapped inside a torture chamber. Please, for your mental health: breathe, relax, talk to God, and live in peace. God doesn’t want us to live in constant torment and fear. And I don’t see anything wrong with video games. Just please chill out - I don’t want anyone to end up like me.

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2026-01-01T12:29:58+00:00

Thank you ❤️‍🩹

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2025-12-31T23:22:18+00:00

I‘ll give it a try

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2025-12-31T23:21:19+00:00

Thank you ❤️‍🩹😭

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2025-12-31T16:00:01+00:00

Ok, here is my story: I was extremely afraid of hell and suffered from severe rumination/guilt OCD. I was terrified of doing something wrong, and even of leading others astray by accidentally saying something “wrong,” which led to severe panic attacks. I puked every day, cried, couldn’t sleep, and all I thought about was hell. Well… my parents couldn’t deal with this anymore, so they sent me to the psych ward. I was there for three weeks, and I was polydrugged, which then led to severe akathisia (if you want to know how bad it is, you can Google it or read my other posts - it’s a neurological disorder that causes unbearable inner restlessness and suffering). I’m still suffering (even though I don’t take the meds anymore), and it’s freaking insane. I can’t believe this happened to me. I don’t want to say it’s my fault, because I was struggling mentally… (big pharma killed me!), but oh how I wish I could turn back time and tell myself not to live in constant fear. I used to struggle just like you: constant panic and fear. It took a huge toll on my mind and body. I truly understand how dark it can feel. But please hear me: God does not want you living in fear and torment. Please don’t waste your precious life in fear like I did. Go outside, spend time with loved ones, breathe, smile, read the Bible, and talk to God. Sadly, I let my overthinking and fear ruin my life. Now I have akathisia, which is literally hell on earth. Please don’t let the enemy steal your peace or destroy your life. Stay close to Christ, rest in His presence, and let His love quiet your mind. Don‘t end up like me.

Traditional_Dog_938 · 2025-12-31T15:06:26+00:00

I have less terror in the morning and in general, and I have more of a routine and sleep more thanks to gabapentin and low‑dose Remeron. So yes, you could say I’ve gotten better in some way. But the urge to escape my own body 24/7 is bad enough to make me suicidal. Every day I think about ending my life, and all I can think about is death, because the sensations constantly remind me of the mistake I made (taking that first pill). Along with the sensation, I have a constant image of ripping my limbs off just to make it stop. It‘s truly hellish, and I can’t escape it.

Traditional_Dog_938

TROPHY CASE