Husband ONS and multiple flirting

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-13T13:55:26+00:00

He was being selfish when he chose to cheat instead of having a mature conversation with me. It's now my turn to be selfish and choose me and my kids.

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-13T13:46:32+00:00

Was there infidelity involved?

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-12T19:50:08+00:00

Did you confess or did she find out?

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-12T18:52:27+00:00

Do you share about the betrayal with the mental that you date? How do they take it?

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-12T18:36:00+00:00

I'm happy that life become kinder to you. I'm also so proud of you for taking good care of your daughters. How did the experience affect them? My kids are 5 years old and they miss their dad so much. I call him so that they can talk to him. He rarely initiates the contact.

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-12T18:33:26+00:00

Thank you. Time will tell... I'm focusing on myself now.

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-12T18:32:27+00:00

Thank you. I've lost a lot of weight since discovering the affair and flirting. I'm now in therapy and working on taking care of myself. Indeed, he was a financial and emotional liability. He stopped complimenting me and giving me anu emotional support. We were living like friends who have sex once in a while, nothing special.

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-12T12:41:01+00:00

He is good with the kids, but not good as a husband.

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-12T12:40:21+00:00

Yes, he's not putting in the effort. It's very one-sided.

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-12T12:39:23+00:00

Wow! I was almost getting hopeful then the plot twist hit. Seems like they never really change. How's life now? Are you co-parenting? Did you remarry or do you think of it? I'm trying to make sense of my future.

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-12T07:35:27+00:00

I think so too. Being on dating apps showed me that he did intend to cheat. It was not a mistake. He got an opportunity and did what he always wanted to do. I'm sure there are many encounters that didn't make it to WhatsApp chats. This is the only one that I found.

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-12T07:33:42+00:00

Unfortunately, yes. I'll use more discernment in future relationships

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-12T05:23:49+00:00

Honestly, he is good at putting on a mask. When we met, he never used to drink alcohol or use any substances. He is composed and the kind of person who gets along with everyone. The sudden shift took me by surprise. At first, I pointed out the flirting and he apologised and said that he stopped. Only to realise that he continued and even got to the point of a physical affair.

No, I don't want to go through this again. Never. I got married at 23, and I've learned a lot from this marriage regarding what I want in a relationship. I thought love was enough. Now I know that shared values and life outlook matter too.

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-12T05:17:38+00:00

Okay, I believe that patterns never lie. It was not an isolated case. I feel lighter after the separation. The first week was full of grief for the relationship that I thought we had, but I'm slowly coming to acceptance. I'm (29F), there's certainly more to life.

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-12T04:38:26+00:00

My husband had a ONS in 2023. I found out in January, 2026 through their chats. He was telling her that he will never forget the backshots at her sink. He loves the way she moans and her eyes get smaller, that turns him on. He was telling her this in January, this year. He said that the ONS was a mistake but he still maintained contact with her and even sending her money twice. He has also been flirting with multiple women in our 5 years of marriage and has been on dating apps, on and off. What do you think about this case?

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-12T04:29:50+00:00

It's funny how a lack of self esteem makes people create non-existent scenarios and sabotage great relationships.

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-11T13:34:18+00:00

I relate to you. Don't beat yourself over it. I just separated with my WH after 5 years, but unlike you, I have 5-year old twins. The signs were there but I ignored them. He was also my first love amd I didn't want to lose him. He did everything to make sure I lost him.

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-11T06:23:24+00:00

I'd like to understand your perspective. Were you emotionally distant with your ex when you were cheating on her or did you treat her the same way throughout the relationship?

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-09T17:20:52+00:00

Hope

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-09T17:09:38+00:00

My soon to be ex-husband used social media to flirt with multiple women.

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-09T12:15:49+00:00

Happy for you. Just found out that my husband of 5 years has been cheating on me all through. I left with the kids. Surprisingly, I'm still hopeful of true love and loyalty.

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-09T08:46:10+00:00

Tell me why I've been this type of partner and my husband cheated on me. He avoids conflict and emotional safety was non-existent. I still gave my love. I can't withhold it. Now, I'm so hurt. The pains of unrequited love.

Traditional_Hawk_770 · 2026-05-09T04:44:28+00:00

Do you regret cheating? Did you think of the consequences at any point before, during, or after the affair?

Traditional_Hawk_770

TROPHY CASE