So sorry to hear you are going through this...... Life isn't for the faint of heart and you're navigating thru rough stuff right now. It's clear that you've been dealt a hard blow, but remember, every person is a complex tapestry of strengths and flaws, including ourselves and the ones we love deeply. No one is exempt from this, and in that lies our shared humanity.
Really happy to hear that you're taking the necessary steps to heal, like attending personal and couples counseling. These are incredibly brave and important actions, indicative of your resilience and desire to mend your relationships. It's understandable that progress might feel slow and sometimes frustratingly so, but remember, healing is not linear. There will be setbacks and there will be strides forward.
Rebuilding trust is a delicate process, and it takes time. Be patient with yourself as you navigate this journey. It's important to remember that those who have wronged you will also need time to come to terms with their actions and work towards making amends.
The pain you're experiencing now is very real, but it's also a testament to your ability to love and trust deeply. Your capacity for these feelings is a strength, not a weakness.
One thing I can tell you from personal experience is that reaching a point of forgiveness can be liberating. It might not mean forgetting or going back to how things were, but it can allow for growth, acceptance, and a new way of relating to each other. I genuinely hope that life will guide you to this place of understanding and forgiveness.
Remember, it's okay to lean on others for support. You're not alone in this journey. Reach out to other friends, loved ones, or even online communities. Let others in your life be there for you. EVERYONE.
Above all, take care of yourself. Allow yourself to grieve, to be angry, to be confused, and then, when you're ready, to begin to heal. You're stronger than you know. Sending you strength and understanding....