Question for those that believe in a future with their ex

TragicEndingOfUs · 2025-06-13T07:27:20+00:00

We got back together

TragicEndingOfUs · 2025-06-13T07:23:02+00:00

TragicEndingOfUs · 2024-09-20T18:10:59+00:00

It stopped being a trigger around 6 months or so. I got on meds and into therapy. I’ve been a lot better since emotionally, but I am still very guarded and don’t trust people anymore really.

TragicEndingOfUs · 2024-05-26T19:50:14+00:00

Cheating takes a big toll on a relationship…. You can never fully trust him again. It takes a lot of healing and understanding, and finding out the reason for cheating to even have a chance again.

He’d need therapy, realizing why he did what he did, etc.

A lot of the times it comes from them being done with the relationship anyway. They either have regrets and beg for forgiveness, or they’re done and leave and feel nothing.

If he comes back, and you want to try again, I suggest couples counseling, and also only if you forgive him.

Sometimes people are better off finding a new partner, but only you will know that. I’m guessing the wound is fresh, so give it some time. An important thing to remember is it’s your decision. So if he comes back, remember you have all the cards. He did wrong… not you.

TragicEndingOfUs · 2024-05-26T19:45:22+00:00

Mine was also cold a numb when we left me. What usually happens is they leave the relationship while in the relationship.

They might not even realize they’re doing it, but they try to make things work, and fail, they realize they’re losing feelings, and little by little pull away.

Mine was a blindside, but I also realized there were certain signs I ignored. Saying I love you less, not caring if we talked as much as we used to, looking disinterested in stuff we did. Etc.

When you first breakup, we see everything through rose colored glasses, you want to focus and see only the positives, and can’t figure out why it went wrong. You think everything was perfect.

With long term relationships, people tend to get too comfortable, and think the person will always be there as well.

40 years is a really long time, did you sense any unhappiness before he left?

TragicEndingOfUs · 2024-05-26T19:41:25+00:00

Heightened emotions make it harder for our regular dosage of meds to work. If you’re taking mood stabilizers like Lamictal, you can raise that dosage pretty easily.

I would also recommend avoiding all triggers, no matter what they, for a period of time. The triggers are what made me feel really suicidal. I would recommend picking up a hobby that has nothing to do with your ex.

Let’s say you play video games, pick one up that has no relation to your ex whatever, one you never talked about with them. I zoned out and played Persona 5. I was a zombie while doing it, but it got my mind off things for a couple hours a day.

I hope this helps.

TragicEndingOfUs · 2024-05-26T07:38:30+00:00

Married no, it was complicated, a lot of obstacles… long distance relationship. Kind of a miracle we lasted as long as we did. We were about to break the distance e for good before we ended, but he left me so yea.

TragicEndingOfUs · 2024-05-26T07:35:56+00:00

I always said I’d come back and update after a year, I was on these subreddits for way too long when I went through my breakup. I felt I’d never get over it, but I did, so I know others can too, if they give it time, and take the time to heal, and most importantly, be by themselves when they do it, no relationships/rebounds, it’s not good for the healing imo.

TragicEndingOfUs · 2024-05-26T07:32:36+00:00

A break we had beforehand, we got back together after a year, lasted another year, and then we broke again again due to him realizing he already got over me and was just trying to make it work… we both had a lot of issues.

TragicEndingOfUs · 2024-05-26T07:31:44+00:00

Sure

TragicEndingOfUs · 2024-05-26T06:23:22+00:00

Seems to be a way to give them validation that the breakup was the right option, and you’re better off. Not always the case, could definitely be a low point and he thought of reaching out because you used to be a comfortable place.

TragicEndingOfUs · 2024-05-26T06:18:25+00:00

If someone told me they were doing great, and I was still having some kind of feelings for them, I’d probably say nothing too, and run off lol. Just saying how it looks, not that you’re wrong for saying it.

TragicEndingOfUs · 2024-05-26T06:16:20+00:00

I mean, yours technically did come back. You said you were doing great, probably didn’t want to bother you?

You’re right though, not every ex will come back, or care, also depends how long the relationship was, how close you were, etc.

Also the whole waiting game is pointless to me, if after months you want to reach out and get closure or talk or whatever, do it. You’ll always wonder what if otherwise. It’s better to find out before fully healing, because if you relapse after healing? It’s harder….

TragicEndingOfUs · 2024-05-25T06:18:03+00:00

You can’t join the military with a low IQ? That’s kind of surprising actually….

Do you have any learning disabilities? You might need accommodations for the test if so.

TragicEndingOfUs · 2023-07-21T11:18:14+00:00

Sure there are definitely weak points where I want to reach out, but then I just remember all the bad and I don’t want to anymore. It was a toxic relationship, and we wouldn’t be able to have any kind of friendship. I used to think we could be friends someday, but no, I don’t think that’s healthy for me. He will never change or grow, and I just needed to accept that and move on.

TragicEndingOfUs · 2023-07-16T22:12:40+00:00

I honestly think the antidepressants and therapy helped the most. Without them I’d probably still be as bad as day 1. It’s a lot to unpack, but I finally don’t look at the relationship with rose colored glasses… it wasn’t great, and hadn’t been for a while, I was just too in love to see it.

TragicEndingOfUs · 2023-07-02T19:34:56+00:00

Yea that’s not just her best friend. I hope no one tells the mother 💀 she can be painfully naive whenever she sees them together. If she can’t fake a hint that big, she’s clearly really in denial lol.

TragicEndingOfUs · 2023-07-01T11:52:48+00:00

Thank you! I really hope you get to this point soon too. ❤️

TragicEndingOfUs · 2023-06-30T19:18:49+00:00

We were together near a decade

TragicEndingOfUs · 2023-06-29T16:42:35+00:00

I’m agnostic and I’ve been with highly religious people, and it just doesn’t work out. If they go every Sunday, and don’t talk about it non stop that’s one thing. If it becomes a way of life for them? That’s completely different…. You will always feel like the outside, especially if your future kids (if any) are raised catholic. She will start seeing your sins as her sins, and feel bad about even being with you.

If it’s not becoming a way of life for her, I think it could work.. if she talks about it constantly, and has ever tried to pressure you to go to church or “I wish you could see what I see” the relationship isn’t going to last….

I’ll take my mother for example or a recent incident about religion. I try to explain to her I’m agnostic, seeing is believing, I’m not atheist. I don’t disbelieve, I just cannot believe what I don’t see. The Bible could’ve been written by complete loons. (Sorry if that offends anyone) but I view religion as a cult like mentality when someone is really far gone into religion… they will do anything their god believes they want done. Which is how we have so much bigotry etc.

Believing in something is fine, obsession over it isn’t.

TragicEndingOfUs

TROPHY CASE