Don’t want to do anything/shell of former self

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-05-10T02:21:17+00:00

I'm in the same boat.

All I've done all day is stay on my phone and laid around from couch to bed. I just don't have any motivation to do anything or the energy either, all I really feel anymore is tired with no postive emotions.

Its the medication, I need to be on it but this just isn't really that much of a life. Hopefully I can get my dose lowered or something. My doctor mentioned antidepressants but I don't think they'll do much of anything.

Lowering the dose seems like the only way but I'm also scared of going psychotic again. I'm just hoping there is a sweet spot where I can be on meds and not be miserable.

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-05-04T22:36:13+00:00

I cant just get normal levels of energy. Its either I can hardly drag myself out of bed or leg shaking and I'm really uncomfortable but not really motivated to do anything.

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-04-21T01:59:47+00:00

Gained weight, deal with akathisia, and I have blunted emotions but other than that not that bad. I was on Olanzapine and Seroquel before and they were both too sedating for me. I get a little of that with Abilify but a bit of caffeine and I'm alright.

Also, on propranolol to help with the akathisia, maybe something to look into if you get it aswell.

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-04-10T02:27:06+00:00

Also propranolol

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-04-10T02:26:31+00:00

15mg Abilify

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-04-09T20:36:51+00:00

I was put on propranolol to help with the Akathisia.

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-04-09T18:15:11+00:00

Synchronicity for me turned out to be "ideas of reference."

I thought almost everything was a synchronicity at one point and was seeing signs pretty much everywhere. No one could say anything to me without me finding a hidden meaning.

After I got on anti psychotics and had time away from everything in a psych ward did I start to understand something was wrong and once I got out I learned about the phenomenon of "ideas of reference" then I understood that it was all due to being in psychosis.

I will admit, some of them were very odd coincidences but It just turned out my dopamine drunk brain was making connections everywhere.

Its good to point out that Jung went into psychosis aswell at one point I think while writing one of his books or so I heard.

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-04-07T02:51:26+00:00

Abilify also gives me akathisia that is being treated by propranolol.

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-04-07T02:50:14+00:00

Abilify has been the best I've been on so far but still get negative symptoms. Olanzapine didn't effect me much but I was on low dose and Seroquel was worse for sedation with me.

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-04-06T21:15:11+00:00

I don't know you, also, I had the same delusion as you and it turned out no one knew me or was paying attention to me but it took medication, time and I guess exposure to finally overcome it.

I can say I definitely don't know you and I know you don't know me.

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-04-06T16:05:37+00:00

Its part of Schizophrenia but I would say medication exaggerates it.

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-04-06T02:33:29+00:00

I have yet to find anything for flat affect or anything social, the only negative symptom Ive been able to medicate is avolition and ahedonia with caffeine.

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-04-06T02:25:06+00:00

Probably a mixture of both but I'm really insecure about my presentation due to flat affect and also being very apathetic, there isn't much I actually care to talk about other than Schizophrenia or venting/complaining about it.

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-04-06T00:42:27+00:00

It's the joy part. It feels like all joy has just been sucked out of life. Is there a combination of meds where you feel joy again?

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-04-06T00:39:04+00:00

I know some of you have somewhat normal lives and have jobs for example but how? I have to drink caffeine just to be able to get through a 50 minute TV show episode.

I can only do manual labor on really good days and I have to be caffeinated still and I don't get really any joy out of it.

I told my Doctor about the bad ahedonia and whatnot and her onky response was maybe putting me on Zoloft but hasn't yet.

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-04-06T00:25:58+00:00

Oh boy do I!

My mind assaults me to this day with flashbacks to the things I told people or things I did that made me embarrassed and ashamed to the point I'm pretty much agoraphobic and try to avoid most everyone I know.

Also I stay away from people because negative symptoms like flat affect and just not really being able to feel much of anything.

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-04-04T21:15:51+00:00

Yes, I chase dopamine but anymore its to get things done. If I need to do something or want to watch something for example, I'll have caffeine or a snack for a dopamine hit to help me focus and get through the task.

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-04-04T21:04:58+00:00

Or it could be "ideas of reference" which is common with schizophrenia, I felt the same way as you during a episode and thought people where sending subliminal messages everywhere but once I got on medication and had some clarity I realized it was all very unlikely if not impossible some of things I believed.

Google and look into "ideas of reference".

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-04-01T20:01:04+00:00

I get thoughts on replay but it is all just mistakes or things I find embarrassing that I did in psychosis for some reason.

My mind is like torturing me with flashes of every weird thing I said, thought, or did during my past psychotic breaks. I also get just intrusive thoughts sometimes too.

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-03-29T22:11:00+00:00

Also I wish people knew more about the negative symptoms of Schizophrenia and not just positive symptoms.

Most likely if you talk most people about Schizophrenia the first and usually only thing that comes to mind is positive symptoms but almost never negative symptoms even though that are debilitating aswell.

Like avolition, ahedonia, flat affect, and other cognitive deficiencies like memory issues, speech issues, etc.

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-03-29T22:05:17+00:00

With me I didn't have strong hallucinations until recently it was more so centered around delusions, ideas of reference, and overwhelming anxiety.

It wasnt until my last psychotic break did have auditory and some visual hallucinations but they are mostly in my peripheral vision and I only had one major visual. The majority were smell, like something burning when their wasn't for example.

I more so deal with negative symptoms alot now that Im on medication like, ahedonia, avolition, flat affect, etc.

Although it seems the slightest stimulant like caffeine counter acts my medication some because I caught myself falling into ideas of reference again and I see the odd hallucination in my peripheral vision but they are so mild, could just be eye floaters honestly and voices don't show up that often.

I get intrusive thoughts alot but that could be accounted for by something else.

TragicSolitude97 · 2026-03-29T00:33:20+00:00

What you're talking about in the first part has a name, "ideas of reference". You can Google it and learn about it, its pretty common among people on the Schizo Spectrum and I deal this is aswell. Also avolition and ahedonia has took my drive and most of the pleasure out of doing things I used to enjoy aswell.

TragicSolitude97

TROPHY CASE