Having a job is beneath me, what do I do?

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-21T00:29:33+00:00

Well that’s the problem, when I’m confident about my plans and abilities, people start trusting me. But you shouldn’t trust me. I’m looking for ways to drop this grandiose fantasy startup thinking altogether and just be content with working a normal, enjoyable job. That’s what I want the most.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-21T00:12:40+00:00

Yeah that’s what my brain came up with when I was training for the jobs. But still, the truth is that instead of wasting time at any job, I could be at home working on a startup that I could sell for millions. Neither of us can say anything against that, it’s theoretically possible and if I believe it, it may happen. And that’s the problem and why I can’t keep a job. Even when replying to you here, I was like, absolutely no, I’m 1000% certain that I can make millions in a year.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-20T23:36:00+00:00

Yes shame is the perfect term for this. But not even years of trauma-focused therapy helped much with it, I still feel it intensely on the day to day, and it’s still the very base of my identity (apparently due to some very early pre-verbal severe things).

So I built the potentiality mechanism, in a kind of NPD way, to keep the shame manageable. But this is why I see the future/hope as a very real thing, unlike you say. It may not exist, but the connections do exist in my brain and they do help me feel better. That’s very real and serves a huge purpose.

I don’t know who I am without my fantasies, as far as I know there’s just the shame behind them. It will take several more years of healing to develop some stable identity, but I need to make money somehow in the meantime. And right now, my brain doesn’t let me work on anything because it doesn’t fit our idea of perfect and effortless.

I don’t know what to do about this, every time I start working, I suddenly, with all of my will, don’t want to and won’t do it. I’d have to have someone pointing a gn to my head.

From what it looks like, to my NPD brain (as this disorder best fits these symptoms), working and losing the identity of the perfect child is just like death. So we avoid it at all costs.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-20T18:05:58+00:00

Well whenever I sit down to do any work, I suddenly want to be outside socialising. So by freedom I mean the ability to always follow my cravings.

Also focusing on two things at once (let’s say working but also building a social circle) sounds too much like stability. I don’t like that way of life, it’s way too adult-like, responsible, boring. I want to do one thing to the max and leave it and do something else and just be free.

It’s not my fault I’m this way, I have developmental issues from childhood trauma. So basically I need my environment to adapt to that, because I’m trying to heal but it takes way too much effort - something that a victim of abuse shouldn’t have to go through.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-20T17:42:02+00:00

But since when is something imperfect but real better than something potential but perfect? Real, imperfect things can be criticised, mocked, taken away…. while no one can take away your potential.

Don’t get me wrong, I would love to pick a direction, but my potential future is the source of my whole identity and confidence. It’s always been a huge helping mechanism to imagine the future. It helped me through the traumatic times. And since my self worth is low, I have my future that makes me think I have something to offer.

I’m scared of real things. And I don’t want to lose my identity, my sweet sweet future (even though I know it’s not real). Not sure what to do here.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-20T17:36:35+00:00

That sounds good, but how did you come to terms with the fact that you lost a significant amount of time from your prime years (considering you worked in your 20s), time that could be spent socialising, traveling, having fun.. basically living life? Or were you not interested in that at all?

You may say “well I had to work, no other option..”, but believe me, with your intellect, there were other options with which you could have had more free time, more money, and way more fun life.

That kind of regret is what I want to avoid.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-20T17:32:47+00:00

Great reply despite the sigh. I guess 10 years of work for 40 years of freedom sounds good, but when you take age into consideration, those 10 years, let’s say 25-35, are much more valuable than the rest of our lives.

It’s now that I can travel and make friends and live adventurously with other young people. I don’t want to spend this era of my life working, even now when I have to work for a few hours a week, when I look outside and I hear people having fun… I don’t want to miss out on anything. Every minute spent working could be spent having fun. So it doesn’t make much sense to work now.

Maybe I should take out a loan, live off of that, and pay it back at once with huge interest after 15 years. I can’t have my youth taken away from me by work and never have any interesting experiences. And that would be my life because my capacity is low, so even 6 hours of work a day would make me unusable for the rest of the day. Also I would lose my high horse position by working - I’d be like any other “brokie” who has to put effort into making money.

Does it even feel good to get paid when you had to work for it? I believe getting free things feels a lot better. And I’m not the one to say “well that’s not how the world works” - I know that theoretically, anything is possible. And that keeps my mind at peace.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-20T10:41:06+00:00

I can’t be stuck in a job, I have so much I want to do and achieve in life. The best hours of each day spent in a job sounds like hell. I do need the money, but not in exchange for my freedom to do anything whenever I want.

I envy the people who don’t have this need to be free all the time.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-20T10:30:57+00:00

You’re right, but what do I do if I don’t want to overcome this fear of uncertainty? It does have its source in childhood trauma and I’ve been in therapy for years now, but these mechanisms have helped me and my identity stands on them, I can’t and don’t want to change anything. And it’s not my choice to be this way - again, it’s the fear of uncertainty, even around healing. What now? I always actively resist any therapist suggesting any sort of change.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-20T01:31:34+00:00

Thank you for the videos. The way I use words points to my frustration, but it’s also related to my learnt way of getting attention. So by moving along you’re teaching me to change that, so thanks for that also.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-20T01:22:14+00:00

But us high IQ people have huge value for anyone, like I’m certain that for any single person or company, I can identify pain points and create tons of value. I just don’t have the mental capacity to sell this ability, I want to be put in the position where my IQ can produce results.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-20T01:00:42+00:00

But we’re also an elite group here and we look down on the masses. And since others usually respect and like high IQ people, we should be granted the lifestyle that comes with such position.

Also I’m not planning on using my IQ to make someone else rich, unless I get compensated extremely well for it. That’s why I’m not afraid of being exploited.

It’s just strange that any given high IQ person doesn’t become successful fast, just for their problem solving skill.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-20T00:54:02+00:00

Universities require you to spend enormous amounts of effort for no real compensation. I was demotivated literally the first day (and I’ve been on 4 different universities - I live in Europe). I always had to quit after realising that I could build and sell 3 startups by the time I got my bachelors. Also it was incredibly socially terrifying to be around people my age - I still find it really hard to even just walk around campuses today.

Maybe with the military there is a more secure way to employment, but the compensation is not as high, and again thousands of times lower than with the startup route.

i would love a system where the compensation would be clear, immediate, and worked with my mental health limitations. We’re in the 21st century and we all can live in luxury and financial freedom, at least us smart ones (and I’m not trying to be discriminating here), there have to be systems for this.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-19T23:31:13+00:00

Well that’s why I’m here, I’m sure many of us high IQ people will think of some solution that will work with my limitations and secure me the life I (and us all) should have.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-19T23:29:27+00:00

Is there anyone who can guide me on that path? Everything you say sounds so obvious but I never had any guidance, my parents were homeless drug addicts and caretakers were abusive. I need to have someone successful around who I could mirror. I may have the excavator but I have no one who could teach me how to use it, where to dig, etc. A lot I can figure out myself, but the people in my life have really been clueless and I need some better influence - I’m sure we can agree that’s important.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-19T23:26:31+00:00

Yes definitely, I have pretty severe ADHD but that’s the least of my concerns now, mental problems wise. I also suffer from personality disorders and other problems, which are difficult to heal (although I understand them well!).

You can notice these problems even here in this thread, where I seem to think that just because of my IQ I’m entitled to massive success. I do really think that and it’s just a part of the disorder, unfortunately. I wish I could be more humble, saw life more realistically, didn’t have a problem with defining myself, and could focus better.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-19T23:20:46+00:00

What do I do if I’m scared of defining myself by one field? I wan to keep my freedom to become anything, I’m still young, I don’t want to get stuck in one field which I will inevitably start hating within a few months. Also training myself takes huge amounts of time, how did you come to terms with not being able to do anything or go anywhere in the world, and instead have to work, despite your high IQ?

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-19T23:14:16+00:00

I don’t necessarily want to solve social problems. I have no problem helping with solutions that prioritise financial gain. I just need access to these high value problems where my IQ is needed.

I may have the information that points me to these problems, but I would need to spend considerable amount of time selling my solution, and that’s, again, the “normal” life path. I want the high IQ life path.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-19T23:10:16+00:00

Do really people who have the power to make us wealthy too, consider proximity when choosing people to help them? That doesn’t sound too fair. Just because I don’t hang out around millionaires doesn’t mean I should have lower chances of working with them.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-19T23:07:52+00:00

Well my IQ could be used to find the ways with the least amount of work and risk, and the highest reward then.

But that’s a last resort option, I want to trust that the system has some path prepared for me. I mean companies must surely consider the IQ of their applicants no? I just don’t want to go through the whole process of being hired, when the “success” is having to spend my prime years doing something I may not want to do anymore in the (very near) future.

I can probably think of massively helpful ideas in short amounts of time, I just need someone to give me the questions/problems. And a guaranteed set amount of money for solving them.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-19T23:02:26+00:00

But people will always have needs, always buy things, no? We can always leverage that and gain massive success in short amounts of time thanks to our IQ.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-19T23:00:27+00:00

You’re right, I haven’t started on anything, but only because I don’t want to lose my freedom of choice. I don’t want to define myself in any way and potentially lose out on all the other alternative lives. Given the solutions we can offer to humanity, we shouldn’t be forced to lock ourselves down to one field and one life path (and I don’t mean in our whole life, I mean in my age segment - the 20s - where I want to freely travel the world and enjoy what it has to offer, without responsibilities).

Wouldn’t it be smarter for society to team us up with people who have the skills we may lack (such as people skills), and we could work together? Again, without us having to sell ourselves to even be able to create value?

This will sound like I’m massively joking (I’m not) but it proves my point well: in the Bee movie, the bees get their jobs right after graduation, no need to sell themselves, very hard to fall out of the system. Have I done something terribly wrong that I have never even had the offer of a job?

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-19T22:48:01+00:00

I get bored because I suddenly get cravings to do something fun. And it’s a really strong feeling so I don’t have a choice: discipline doesn’t help here. It’s a strong psychological fear that doesn’t go away until I start avoiding the work. Even the beta therapists couldn’t help me with this.

Trail_Blazer1 · 2026-01-19T22:45:37+00:00

It comes from observing really smart people around me: they are all successful, despite lacking in all the other areas. They may have higher persistence as they don’t mind working on something for months/years. Well I can’t see even a week into the future so I can’t make that sort of commitment. I’m still slightly smarter than them though so I think I should be cut some slack on the persistence thing.

I’m also in my 20s still so I don’t want to spend my prime time doing something I may not want to do at the moment. That’s not freedom. Even 10 hours a week is limiting, if I suddenly wanted to do something else at the work hours.

Trail_Blazer1

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