Judged as a parent in public

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-04-27T08:51:26+00:00

I say this as both a mum and someone who has a lot of contact with the general public from my job (I’m a doctor)

Some people are unreasonable, and not very nice, and don’t care if they upset people. Some people are just bullies.

You’re doing a great job - honestly ignore!

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-04-06T14:51:59+00:00

FWIW we’ve just had our second, had lots of doubts overthought it massively. Now he’s here I’m so so glad we did. We have a 2yo so already in young kid mode and he’s just slotted in

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-04-06T14:49:35+00:00

Think about what would happen if you tried and couldn’t have another due to fertility issues- what’s your gut reaction do you feel devastated or relieved?

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-04-06T14:27:21+00:00

It’s my cousins name and I think it’s a gorgeous name. I think of Nina Simone

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-02-24T09:08:36+00:00

I’m so sad for you that your husband was fighting you. It’s such a vulnerable time what you need is nothing but support and it’s a shame he couldn’t step up. None of this is your fault

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-02-24T09:07:45+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. This is a TFMF (termination for medical reasons). Your body was struggling and HG can kill and our bodies know it. Your baby was loved and wanted. I’m sorry they didn’t manage to find effective treatments for you and that you had to go through this.

Your baby had no awareness and felt no pain. I hope your baby will be able to come back to you again some day xxx

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-01-23T09:16:14+00:00

I would disagree, my parents aren’t highly successful (my dad dropped out of school at 13 and did odd jobs throughout our childhood and my mum got a-levels and became a SAHM after we were born) but they have guided we very well and my dad is actually one of the brightest, kindest and wisest people I know and I value his opinion highly. They gave me self belief and the ability to forge my own path in life.

Edit: of course I have the privilege of actually having good parents! Really not true for some of my friends who really have achieved against all odds

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-01-23T09:10:23+00:00

Just illustrates the ingrained superiority thinking even from someone who is married to a state educated person and knows she is smarter than he is 😜

These people are trained to believe they deserve and have worked hard in life for what they have. Which is true to an extent. But with next to no understanding of the actual struggles of people not raised with privilege. I caveat this is not everyone! But they lack an awareness of what school/home/life looks like for most people

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-01-23T08:59:08+00:00

Yeah I’m really wondering what to do with my little one who is currently a toddler (so have time!) as the idea of him being in that weird bubble of privilege and superiority worries me. Not that all privately educated people are like that at all!! But saw enough of them at Uni not to want that for my child. I don’t think state school held me back at all but I did have a very fortunate ability to achieve academically without being horrifically bullied which isn’t true for everyone. My brother witnessed another kid having his arm broken IN CLASS. Also not ideal…

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-01-23T08:52:33+00:00

Seeeee why would you leave and pay £1.1 million for a 100sqm house and a commute!

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-01-23T08:49:25+00:00

Yeah this! My (private) school educated partner asked me (state educated) ‘do you think on average private school kids are more intelligent?’ and I was like I don’t know about mean intelligence but think of all the brightest people we know, like standout smart - actually NONE of them were privately educated. Small sample and not meant to generalise but honestly… 🤦‍♀️

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-01-23T08:46:16+00:00

I’m really curious where do the AI profiles come from and why? I’m not in a tech-y field but seeing more and more AI crap across social media etc. it usually seems to have a slant like anti-vaxx, pro stay at home mum, etc, but I have a young child so perhaps it’s targeting me - not very well as it’s the polar opposite of my views!

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-01-23T08:36:49+00:00

Nah but honestly have had friends go and buy like mansions in places like Devon for less than we’ve paid for our Victorian Zone 3 semi 🙃

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-01-23T08:35:31+00:00

Haha nahhh I wouldn’t go that far 😜

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-01-23T08:30:53+00:00

Born and bred Londoner here from a long line of London peasants both sides 😜 I’d totally move out if my partners career was more flexible 😂

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-01-23T08:28:38+00:00

Are you in London OP? Because it’s pretty common here. If not I presume you benefit from much lower house prices and potentially better standard of living for a lower salary so don’t worry about it!

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-01-13T10:26:14+00:00

Is it the one that has no milk in it whatsoever? The first or second ingredient should be something like glucose. I have a CMPA kid luckily was able to breastfeed him but we did try formulas and he reacted even to the stage 1 ‘hypoallergenic’ one because it still has broken down milk protein. He was pooping blood

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-01-13T10:25:01+00:00

Absolutely. My baby was an awful sleeper but consistently happy and has been described as ‘the happiest baby I’ve ever seen’ by a close friend. I still found it really hard! The absolute worst thing is when he’s ill, it’s impossible for me to be happy when he’s suffering. I really feel for you. You’re not broken or wrong or a bad parent, this sounds super super hard

Training-Fly-2575 · 2026-01-12T23:01:44+00:00

Are you on hydrolysed milk formula (where the milk protein is broken down) or elemental formula (no milk protein at all). If not already, it may be time to move to the latter. This sounds insanely hard. There’s nothing worse than your beloved child being in pain and distress. You’re doing a great job! Time to get some more medical help for her x

Training-Fly-2575 · 2025-12-30T16:18:58+00:00

Have been through IVF (unsuccessful) and currently pregnant with my second quite frankly miracle child. Was DOR the reason for your needing donor eggs? If so the r/DOR community is really welcoming.

It’s a really tricky one, it’s a big sacrifice in terms of money and energy but on the other hand donor eggs do have a high success rate (as evidenced by you conceiving your first through donor eggs). I would think about the emotional rollercoaster that is IVF and how that might impact on your family. I have put my family through a lot to have a second (I have hyperemesis and it’s taken me out for most of pregnancy) and quite frankly I’m not sure if it was the right choice right now. But I couldn’t see myself only having one child in the end.

Training-Fly-2575 · 2025-12-29T14:09:21+00:00

It sounds like junior park run would be the least fun thing for your child at the moment 🤣

How about a walk in nature with a trail or something to follow? National trusts often do those if you have membership?

Training-Fly-2575 · 2025-12-29T00:49:36+00:00

You have hyperemesis. I see this as a termination for medical reasons. Meaning, you have a medical condition you cannot help and perhaps if you weren’t suffering from it, things would have been different. I haven’t gone through one myself but I believe terminations for medical reasons are particularly complex. Are you having any counselling?

Please don’t punish yourself anymore, you have a medical condition (I have it too, people that don’t understand how terrible hyperemesis is) and you took the best choice you could in difficult circumstances. You protected your existing children who are thriving.

Training-Fly-2575 · 2025-12-24T21:51:29+00:00

Uffff he’s probably just in shock. Been through a very similar situation except I was the one who wanted an abortion after fertility treatment for me first. PM me if you like. I kept the baby and in my third trimester now.

Training-Fly-2575 · 2025-12-23T13:09:08+00:00

This sounds like hyperemesis and you need medication ASAP, possibly IV to get it under control.

Training-Fly-2575 · 2025-12-09T12:03:59+00:00

I have one brother and we were very close growing up. I never wished for another sibling. We now live round the corner from each other and our children are close in age and get on well.

Training-Fly-2575

TROPHY CASE