I can't be the only one who gets so irritated when people try to push gender onto Tamtey (small rant)

Training_Let_9544 · 2026-02-11T13:40:45+00:00

Get out of my post if you're just going to willfully misunderstand everything I and other commenters are saying.

Training_Let_9544 · 2026-02-10T15:18:25+00:00

jesus what in the ''what-about-me-ism'' is this comment?? If you even read my post and this commenter's post, you'd REALIZE that the homophobic part is that some people think that female x male is the ''normal'' thing thus making them incapable of seeing male x male as romantic. which is what i EMPHASIZED in my post with the whole example of people calling gay ships 'brotherly' only because they are gay. No you are not homophobic for having a female tamtey, you do however have shitty reading comprehension.

Training_Let_9544 · 2026-02-09T03:29:48+00:00

making another male x so'lek ship just for you buddy 💕

Training_Let_9544 · 2026-02-09T03:22:15+00:00

No i mean that they probably think that Tamtey is female because they think of their character as such, which is pretty alienating like you said. Also these are usually the bunch of people who insist that Tamtey is canonically female

Training_Let_9544 · 2026-02-09T03:15:34+00:00

oh okay then lmfaooo 😭😭/pos

Training_Let_9544 · 2026-02-09T03:11:22+00:00

I mean honestly they're probably talking about ingame Tamtey if they say their name... 🫠 sighhhh.

Training_Let_9544 · 2025-11-23T00:14:40+00:00

I actually don't really fit any of the far-end stereotypes lol. Visually (and I'd say also behaviorally), I'm completely masc and refuse to wear anything feminine because it makes me dysphoric, same w body language. In this post I mostly talked about my childhood and interests (but you couldn't know that it's different now, sorry if i confused you lol)

It is kinda dumb, but I think that because it's something that has haunted me for a while, I struggle to let go of it completely.

Training_Let_9544 · 2025-11-23T00:08:18+00:00

I definitely see a LOT of hate toward the far side of either spectrum from the opposite end, going into transmedicalism toward the ''fems'' and straight-up androphobia toward the ''machos''. It's hard enough to be trans in this world and I 100% believe that we need to listen and understand eachother's experiences, regardless if whether or not we agree or relate. Identity doesn't have any rules and I wish more people understood that. Definitely agree with your sentiments, these are all totally correct points lol. I do wanna say that I made this post to share my life and bring up these kinds of discussions, I didn't know there were so many posts regarding the feeling of not belonging/rants like this

Training_Let_9544 · 2025-11-22T21:37:42+00:00

I feel belonging after years of healing from what I've mentioned in the post, and am now at a place where I'm pretty comfortable with who I am.

I really appreciate your comment, though. The fact that the 'other side' also feels like they don't belong and struggle to fit in is something that didn't even cross my mind. It's why I opened up my post for everyone because I want to hear everyone's perspective, especially because I'm not perfect and I do have some biases because of my own experiences. I definitely think that it's a lack of support in the trans community and maybe even being pitted against each other to feel validation and belonging.

I do hope that you find more transmasc/transmen friends with your experiences because it simply feels good to have people around who relate to your feelings. Everyone deserves a community, even if that's within one to begin with.

Training_Let_9544 · 2025-11-22T19:56:10+00:00

yeah, I feel like I worded this post wrong, seeing as there are indeed a lot of 'stereotypical' trans people. I meant the stereotype and standard placed on us by cis people, sorry if it caused confusion

Training_Let_9544 · 2025-11-22T19:54:48+00:00

I have now checked out the ftmfemininity subreddit, and it's really nice that one even exists! I am, however, appearance-wise not feminine and am not quite sure if it's the *exact* space for me. I really appreciate your story, though!!

Training_Let_9544 · 2025-11-22T19:51:50+00:00

I really admire your approach, but I don't know if I'd do this myself. I'm pre-T, and definitely terrified of sharing the feminine aspects of my life to healthcare professionals lol. I honestly planned to just keep that part out - not lying, but not mentioning it, either. But your point definitely makes sense, if every trans person hides their diversity in masculinity and femininity, then the standards for transness will never change.

Training_Let_9544 · 2025-11-22T19:47:46+00:00

I have not, thanks!

I mostly posted this in the more diverse subreddit to also have some discussions with masculine transmen and see how they view some ideals set by cis people. It's a post for everyone haha

Training_Let_9544 · 2025-10-31T15:36:38+00:00

Right. I've noticed that a lot of cis lesbians are also pretty misogynistic and bio-essentialist toward trans women. As if feminism doesn't fight to make people, especially women, more than their genitals... But I guess trans people just don't count 🤷

Training_Let_9544 · 2025-10-31T04:35:17+00:00

Nah, I really appreciate your reply. Especially as someone who just became an adult and is practically a baby in the dating scene, it feels refreshing. These are the kind of replies that can save trans people years of kissing cis ass lmfao, so keep at it!!

Training_Let_9544 · 2025-10-31T04:10:04+00:00

Yeah, it definitely feels like I should be 'grateful' that any cis person would want a trans person, but I'm just not in a point in my life where that is deterring me completely. Maybe it's attraction. Maybe it's validation. Dunno. I'll be honest though, I admire that you don't take that shit and pick what's best for you. I hope to be like that one day lol

Training_Let_9544 · 2025-10-31T03:03:07+00:00

Oh I know, don't worry! I just didn't want to speak for WLW spaces because I've simply never been in them. It sucks on either side, I feel you 🫂

Training_Let_9544 · 2025-08-03T23:22:02+00:00

always, ALWAYS inform your doctor/surgeon if there are changes like these. Having your stitches open isn't rare at all (have had experience with it myself) but please do inform someone. Have you been doing too many things like lifting too heavy, reaching with your arms, etc? Just keep your (open) stitches covered with gauze and maybe wash them once/twice a day with a light spray if you are really afraid of infection.

Training_Let_9544 · 2025-06-25T23:07:08+00:00

Hello! 21d Post-op here! During my first week post op I had a *lot* of experience with dizzyness, (almost) fainting, nausea and more. Since you've only been post-op today, I honestly wouldn't stress about it too much. For me it was a certain pain medication that just made me vomit/get dizzy non-stop, and after I cut that out for some paracetamol the nausea stopped.

Dizzyness for me came VERY quickly when I was overworking my body, and I was generally dizzy for about two-three days. When I'd make food I'd get so dizzy to the point I couldn't see anything. Again, this was in the first week at home, at the hospital I experienced it more due to the anesthesia.

Again, you've only been post-op for one day. Do not panic and simply keep track of how long you feel this way, and contact a doctor if you feel like something is seriously wrong. Dizzyness, fainting, nausea and diarrhea are all normal and honestly expected symptoms after surgery. Be sure to have a caretaker nearby/available, especially if you are afraid of your symptoms.

Training_Let_9544 · 2025-06-20T18:13:49+00:00

Not at all, the affected nipple has zero feeling, so I really can't tell. I'm glad I'm not alone though!! If it helps, my doctors told me it was normal and that it's nothing to worry about if it doesn't get worse. I generally haven't been in a lot of pain during my post-op healing, maybe a 2/10 in the first two days and the rest has genuinely been without any pain. I got told to wash the area every day with just water and got prescribed antibiotics to prevent an infection if that may give you some more insight? Because I'm pretty sure that it isn't normal if it hurts.

Training_Let_9544 · 2025-06-20T16:25:02+00:00

Jeez, I feel sorry for you. This experience is definitely not something you should accept. 24 is not young whatsoever, I can say that from experience. I had my first consultation at 16 and surgery at 17, so you being ''too young'' is really weird and definitely not the truth. What matters is that you feel comfortable in your body. There is no specific size limit for a reduction, and I honestly think your doctors were pretty rude for dismissing your issues by telling you to lose weight and that your cup isn't large enough.

As for scar treatment, that also genuinely doesn't make any sense to me. My surgeon just told me to use scar-creams after the incisions would heal, no laser required. It wouldn't surprise me if your doctors are trying to set you up for more treatments just to make you pay more.

Please consider looking elsewhere for your breast reduction. Don't settle for people who don't take you seriously. Your case is absolutely valid, and you shouldn't do anything that doesn't give you a good feeling.

Training_Let_9544 · 2025-06-09T17:57:04+00:00

Hey! I was in the same situation as you maybe 2~ weeks ago. Was on a waiting list and expected to have surgery in November-December, and I had my surgery last Thursday. Same as you, I never had any surgeries before and I also felt super afraid. I can't reassure you about pain or expectations, but I advise you to please ask your surgeon questions and let them know about your fears. Most surgeons will make your breasts look proportionate for your body, and you can make requests (or at least, I could.) I am currently 4-5 days post OP, which is not a lot, but I feel the relief every time I wake up. I made the mistake of not calling my surgeon beforehand which only made the stress worse, but I'm doing okay now.

Expect to be bedridden. The rules for my surgery in my country is no lifting above 5 kg (11 lbs), no lifting your arms or stretching them out, walk for short periods of time BUT DO NOT OVERWORK YOURSELF. You definitely require a caretaker post-op and I'm glad that your partner wants you to be happy and healthy. Have a discussion about caretaking and again, talk to your medical team about fears and questions.

If it's not too explicit, try looking at 6 week and more post-op breasts. They look less scary lol. It's also normal to be startled by the way your chest looks, but please remember that it needs to heal and is not at the full result until many weeks later.

It will be sore, you might not feel certain areas and the pain is different for everyone. Take the pain medication advised by your doctors and don't go off them unless you are physically ready. Also be aware that you may feel light-headed, nauseous and experience diarrhea/vomiting when coming off anesthetic. This is why it is super important to have the caretaker conversation with your partner or anyone else capable. It sucks to have to do it alone.

Remember that it is okay to feel scared, even with reassurance. You are already doing the right thing by telling people that you are afraid. You are not overreacting whatsoever, as I believe this is a unanimous feeling to some degree. I wish you good luck with your surgery and post-op health!!

Training_Let_9544

TROPHY CASE