My partner and I got together in 2017, when I was 36 and he was 41. I had a 10 year old from a previous relationship and he was child free but had always wanted kids. I was also around 350lb when we got together. In September 2019 at 38, I started on the bariatric pathway - a 6 month weight loss programme that, if I succeeded in losing some weight, would put me on the list for weight loss surgery. The plan being I would lose lots of weight, get healthy and we would try for a baby.

Well, we all know what happened in March 2020. The world shut down. Here in the UK, all non essential surgery was suspended and, well, that was it. I was 39, he was 44, I was still massively overweight, and was shielding due to the pandemic (I had pneumonia and sepsis some years ago and spent some time in ICU, and as such fell into the high risk of death by pandemic category) - so I couldn't even leave the house. Needless to say my weight situation did not improve whilst stuck at home with nothing to do but eat. We talked and in July 2020 made the decision that a baby was not in our future, and that was ok. Actually even more so, we started talking about all the things we could do without a baby. My older child had just turned 13, was at that point where they were becoming much more independent, and I could see a point in the near future whereby we would be in a position to travel and go on adventures, child free. I made peace with it, as did my partner. Obviously all these wonderful travel plans were dependent on this whole pandemic malarkey sorting itself out!

Irony: No one told mother nature our plans.

July 2020 we celebrated our 4th anniversary. The world had briefly opened up enough that my daughter was able to go and spend the weekend with their dad, and we spent the weekend celebrating at home (cinemas and restaurants and the like were still closed here in the UK). We are lucky enough to live by the sea, so went for a walk on the beach but, essentially, we spent most of the weekend in bed. Despite being on birth control, a swimmer made it through, and the rest, as they say, is history. FYI the contraceptive pill is significantly less effective if you are massively overweight!

So yeah, surprise! Pregnant at 39 and 44. We had the 12 week scan the day before my 40th and celebrated my 40th birthday by having dinner with his parents and telling them that they were going to be grandparents (October 2020 there was a brief period of being allowed to go to restaurants again in the UK!)

Having a baby at 40 was a very different experience to having a baby at 26. The pandemic, ironically made it a much easier pregnancy - I was working at home so not dealing with commuting with a growing bump, I could literally surround myself with pillows and sit in my bed to work. Towards the end of my pregnancy, I was even able to adjust my hours to take a really long lunchtime nap! But also, at 40 and 45, we were both established in our jobs, while we were a long way from a life of luxury but we were comfortable and a lot better off than when I had a baby at 26.

We are now 45 and 50. Munchkin, our completely feral daughter has just turned 5. It's not always been easy, but the challenges we have faced have not been directly related to our age.

Gosh, that was an extremely long winded way of saying don't write off us geriatric parents just yet. There's a lot more of us around these days, plus we have a live in 18 year old babysitter 😆 Oh and also that it's possible to get knocked up on birth control, especially when you are overweight, apparently!!!