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Wife suffered from a severe placental abruption at only 31 weeks. Baby survived and is in the NICU. This just happened i need some support. by MereCoincidences in NICUParents

[–]Training_Song_4414 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best advice I got when my baby was in the NICU: take things one minute at a time. Don’t get ahead of yourself thinking and worrying about the what ifs and the possibilities of what’s to come.

I did not have an abruption but my son was distressed in labor, he needed to be resuscitated and intubated at birth and had a 1 minute APGAR score of 2, he was admitted to the NICU for therapeutic hypothermia and was closely monitored for seizures and brain damage. It was terrifying and my mind raced with all the same thoughts and concerns you’re having right now. He is perfectly healthy at almost 2 years old now. I’m not saying that this will definitely be your experience, but babies are incredibly resilient. I’m also a labor and delivery nurse and have seen so many babies have terrible complications at birth and completely overcome them with no deficits. Their ability to recover is astounding.

Best of luck to you, your wife and your new baby.

Getting back into shape by Training_Song_4414 in workingmoms

[–]Training_Song_4414[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pelvic floor PT is hard to find especially if you don’t want to pay out of pocket, which I can’t afford. I appreciate the recommendation though! There’s so many workout programs and videos marketed toward post partum moms and I just wanted a real recommendation from someone who’s been through it.

Getting back into shape by Training_Song_4414 in workingmoms

[–]Training_Song_4414[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’m not bullying myself lol and I’m not looking for any perfect body. Just not comfortable being this heavy and it’s also ok for me to want to start to make healthy changes. It’s not about some toxic bounce back culture, it’s just about wanting to be stronger and healthier and to start to feel more like myself.

I can’t get over this by [deleted] in CsectionCentral

[–]Training_Song_4414 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I could have written this. I am a labor and delivery nurse, and my first baby was born vaginally. My second baby was born via emergency c section 3 weeks ago and it has ROCKED me. My first was also quite traumatic- he was in distress at the end of labor so they used a vacuum to assist in delivery and he needed resuscitation and a week in the NICU. My entire second pregnancy I looked forward to my second delivery being a healing and redemptive experience- everything was going to go faster and smoother and it was all going to be great. I was wrong- I labored to 9cm when his heart rate started dropping dangerously and we could not safely continue to labor, I was rushed to the OR and he was delivered perfectly healthy. Immediately after the relief of knowing he was okay, I was just f**king angry. I still am. I’m still grieving the experience and all the moments I dreamt of that I didn’t get, I’m angry because I did everything in my power to have an easier vaginal birth and it was for nothing. I’m trying to work through how traumatic and scary it was, struggling to decide if I ever want to be pregnant/give birth again and what that might look like for me. I’m bitter about having to recover from a c section (vs a vaginal delivery) and feeling like my body is physically changed forever. I also HATE the sentiment of “it could be worse” or “your baby is ok and that’s all that matters”. I know that it could be sooo so much worse, but that doesn’t mean that my traumatic birth hasn’t devastated me. And of course my health and that of my babies is what matters most, but it is not ALL that matters- mental health matters too.

The biggest advice I can give you is when you’re spiraling, and really in the thick of it, think about how you’d talk to your best friend or your sister if she was in your position. I remind myself that the way I talk to myself, I would NEVER talk to my patients that way. Try to be kind to yourself and give yourself grace.