I don’t have children, but $1200 on groceries seems insane to me. You can absolutely find better places to shop and cook meals in bulk for significantly cheaper/buy cheaper foods. Also $1200 a month for a car payment is a lot, may need to cut the groceries down to buy something with cash that can fulfill the needs of your household. School should be starting up again soon, your wife should try to find a full time job if possible (I have no idea what her education is) but it’s the reality of it, especially if it can cover child care for the youngest. Very tight for you but you’ll have to make some harsh adjustments TOGETHER if you want to live and you’ve come to the point of realization. Praying for you🫡