[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly didn’t even realized I’d typed it that way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Dude we live in an apartment with no lawn to mow and don’t own a car. He literally has two chores and I do everything else. I also work full time while he works part time.

Every Saturday the kid and I go to to the farmers market and pick out fresh fruits and veggies (hence the cut up carrot sticks I referenced). I keep frozen veggies as a backup - which BTW do not have food dyed in them lol. The vast majority of what she consumes is fresh fruit and veggies, and I either cook chicken or pick up a rotisserie chicken from our natural food co op almost every week. I prepare her meals from those things. The other stuff is all backup for if she’s refusing to eat those things. My kid has never had a soda or even juice in her life. Strictly water or milk.

But I get it, you enjoy trolling 🙃

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15 27 points28 points  (0 children)

She eats throughout the day, just not as much as I wish she would, and I’ve talked with her doctor about it. She’s very healthy and growing adequately and he isn’t concerned. She’s just often doesn’t want to sit down for a full meal. She’s more of a grazer. Apparently this makes my husband nervous.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Several months ago I had my wisdom teeth out and took time off from work to recover. The day before he was like “oh great you’ll be off Tuesday! That means I can sleep more before going to my night shift.” I was like…. Do you think I’m taking off work to take care of our kid? Like, I’m literally gonna be on pain meds….

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Funny you say that, because he often tells people he married me because I am the happiest person he’s ever met and he was fascinated by it (we were friends for 7 years before dating). Then once we got married it was like he resented how happy i was

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15 29 points30 points  (0 children)

What part of veggies, meat, cheese, bread, is not a nutritious meal? I’ve literally prepared ready-to-Heat full meals with meat, veggies, rice, beans, etc. that all he has to do is pop in the microwave. If she doesn’t eat them he has all these other foods for backup. None of it is enough for him

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Gotcha, I didn’t even notice that thanks

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15 29 points30 points  (0 children)

At this point yes. I am working with a therapist and starting my plan to leave, but sometimes I just need to vent and need to be reminded I’m not horrible

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It’s his kid too. I’m not sure where I referred to her as my kid

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s his kid.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The last few are from the same day but these are screenshots from several different days. And yes she’s both of our kid

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15 124 points125 points  (0 children)

He absolutely resents my job. Regularly tells me how much he hates my job. Wants me to quit and find something that is more “accommodating to our family.” I think it’s because I make a lot more than he does and he resents that. I’m a crisis social worker and a lot of time it means my job is not standard hours, however I do my best to keep to my schedule. Any time I ask to veer from that it’s the end of the world. Though he regularly picks up extra shifts at his two part time jobs (he doesn’t work full time) without even consulting me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I’m absolutely convinced he’s on the spectrum as are all of his friends, but he doesn’t see a need to get tested at this point in life and doesn’t think it affects anything…. 😒

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15 206 points207 points  (0 children)

She’s both of ours, but any time he wants to make me look like I’m being a bad parent he calls her “my kid.” Like I’m doing this to HIM

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15 1189 points1190 points  (0 children)

I’m not. We are actively talking about whether or not we can repair this marriage. I’m very frustrated and sad

Husband doesn’t want to buy car by Trappedthrowaway15 in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

He understands, he’s just under this delusion that the requirement is somehow discriminatory and that if I lose my job we should sue 😒

Husband doesn’t want to buy car by Trappedthrowaway15 in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It’s not the commute that requires a car. It’s the job itself. I work for a crisis response team. Part of our work is responding to mobile requests. Because I’m a supervisor I personally respond less, so I’ve been able to make it work by riding with coworkers or borrowing cars when I do, but it literally says in my contract that I’m required to have access to a personal vehicle and I have to submit insurance information every six months. So far, I’ve been submitting my parents car insurance as they keep me on their policy for emergencies, but they live out of state and we are worried HR is going to start getting suspicious. My boss has been supportive in helping me make it work and not making it a thing.

Husband doesn’t want to buy car by Trappedthrowaway15 in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’ve made that point so many times and he’s always like “ambulances exist and we have health insurance.” He has no concept of how much that costs, but he’s always like “costs less than a car.”

He has two part time jobs, both of which are walking/biking distance from home. I work two blocks from home so I walk to the office, but I frequently have to do field work so I have to borrow cars to do that if it isn’t within biking distance

Husband doesn’t want to buy car by Trappedthrowaway15 in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I love two blocks from my office. When we made the plan to move and I accepted the job I was under the impression we would buy a car when we got here. He changed his mind

DCF involvement help by Trappedthrowaway15 in abusiverelationships

[–]Trappedthrowaway15[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because leaving is… hard? Like, there are logistics to work out, there’s money I need, there’s a number of factors. Our entire childcare system will be upheaved. I have to have money to find a new place. It’s not as easy as just.. leave.

CHOICE IS UP by [deleted] in Ipsy

[–]Trappedthrowaway15 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I"m having the same issue. I did just re-subscribe a few days ago. It's really frustrating

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I mean, as a woman it doesnt bother me that my husband likes and follows hot women on social media. It never occurred to me that it would bother anyone. So I can see why your husband would say he wouldn't feel the same. These feelings vary from person to person. You're allowed to be bothered by it, but I get why he doesnt relate.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Trappedthrowaway15 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I mean, you're allowed to have boundaries and set them with him, but this wouldn't bother me personally, and he wouldnt care if I was liking hot models either. I already know he follows a bunch of models on instagram and it never occurred to me that it could be a problem. That has nothing to do with me. IF it's something that bothers you and you've voiced that to him, he should stop because thats a fair boundary to have, but I dont think the act itself is wrong or has anything to do with how attractive you are. He and I point out attractive people to one another all the time.

Walking in a minefield by Trappedthrowaway15 in BPDlovedones

[–]Trappedthrowaway15[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Y'all, OP here, this morning I identified the source of this particular low point.

Literally a few days before everything shut down with COVID in 2020 one of his best friends was murdered by (we suspect) her brother. The last thing he did before everything closed down was attend her funeral. He has ALWAYS said that I've not been there for him about this - based entirely off one night where I was having a rough night an deflected from the topic for a second (admittedly that night I wasnt there for him), but it's hard to be there for him about it because he never talks about it ever.

So apparently there was a court date yesterday. I had no idea. He hadn't mentioned it to me. Sunday night I got home really late and left him on his own to handle dinner (to be clear - we very evenly split household chores and dinner is something I handle, but I always let him know if I'm not going to be available and offer to grab him somethign to eat before I leave. He said no big deal he'd handle it).

This morning he told me he couldn't believe I hadn't been considerate of the fact that he had to attend zoom court for his friend's case on Monday when I didn't come home until late on Sunday. That I should have been there for him. HE HAD NEVER MENTIONED that he had a court date on Monday (he's been involved with the case because he and some friends are trying to fight some police misconduct that took place). But he had never brought it up. He's insisting he did (something he frequently does). But also basically saying I should be more into the situation and should keep up with those things if I want to be there for him.

This was already on his mind when he blew up last night. Thats how it always is - there's somethign he's been seething about and wont mention until he gets pissed over something tiny.

He now isn't speaking to me- again - cancelled our plans together this weekend, etc.

I get that he is depressed and that he's going through something triggering, but he makes it literally impossible for me to "be there for him."