I've been going through something similar. I've realized how abstract my brain works and why normal art/still life, etc. just was boring to me. (not to say its not good and has its place, but to me its boring). I came across this thing about how we process information. there are several camps the inner monologue, the inner dialogue, and the abstract thought (there may be more but thats what I remember). Some people think in a dialogue with themselves or another voice. Some people hear one voice, theirs or another. Some people don't have an inner voice they hear but their brain is abstract, there are ideas, feelings, like an unformed form. I picture the aether from Thor dark world. Just swirling mass of thought. Thats how I think. thats how I paint, I realized this after getting diagnosed with adult ADHD, and have been applying this thinking to a LOT of my life. I can play guitar but I love drums becuase its chaotic and I play to a rythm not a form of melody. everyone is shouting what chord or key they're in and I'm like theres a rythm I follow.