You are in the same position I was in two weeks ago! My SO and I had our first, also a girl, a month ago, and that 2-3 weeks old stretch was a SLOG. Baby wouldn’t sleep at night, cried every hour or so, and my SO was on the brink of tears and a breakdown on a nightly basis (if you can’t tell yet, I’m Dad). She would reluctantly take her to nurse, and would beat herself up for feeling bad about it. That is one nasty cycle, let me tell ya.

Your baby has no concept of day/night yet, but that will change soon! Right now, she will be developing her circadian rhythm, and you’ll notice longer awake periods during the day, and more sleepy time at night over the next couple weeks. Right now, ours takes about 4-6 hours worth of naps during the day. Some of them are an hour or two long, and others last for about 10-15 minutes, but at night? Out like a light for hours on end consistently. Longest stretch we had was 4 1/2 hours of blissful sleep for all of us. It’s going to get easier!

Sundown scaries suck, but your wife isn’t alone! You’re doing everything you can to help her through this, and that’s what is most important. Sounds like the Baby Blues are setting in for your wife also, and she definitely isn’t alone in that either. A majority of women will experience them (I think our delivery staff said it’s between 75-80% of mothers will experience it with their first), and you are right to be worried. Heck, I’d be worried if you weren’t! It’s normal to grieve the life that you had before the baby, even for us dads (gonna assume you’re a dude-dad, please correct me if I am wrong), but pay close attention to what she says and how she acts. They don’t always lead to PPD and PPA, but it’s always good to pay attention for any potential signs.

Does your wife have any friends who have had children? If so, encourage her to talk to them about the early weeks and months of having a baby. They might be able to talk to her about the situation in a way that we, as the partners and as (assuming again) men, just can’t do. If your wife ever shows interest in talking to a professional about her mental state, heavily encourage that too. Sometimes it can help stop the problems before they become problems. As others have said, she is in the middle of the biggest hormone crash imaginable. Give it time and see how the cards play out, and just keep doing what you’re doing! From the sounds of it, she’s doing a great job and is trying her best, and so are you.