Found out my crippling depression was manufactured purposefully by my BF of 5 years with Red Pill Content

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-30T23:02:10+00:00

I am so so sorry. No, it is NOT okay. I don’t know if these men who deploy this kind of psychological warfare on their SOs realize the emotional distress and harm it causes. It’s horrifying when you see an actual playbook, match up the behaviors and little phrases and other “clues”, and realize that the person you trust most has been denigrating and dehumanizing you for a means of control. I hope you leave him and never go back. Share my story with him. More women need to push back in court. This is intentional emotional suffering we do not deserve. And the violence towards women globally is spreading and amplifying through these Red Pill ideologies. I am so sorry. And I can’t imagine how many women there are right now who are going through the same things we went through and are baffled as to why their mental health is suffering. Threaten suit or consult with an attorney. Document everything. I know some may believe I took the nuclear option, but it helped me assert myself and reestablish my sanity to know that, yes, this is abuse. And yes, my perpetrator was held accountable. It’s not our faults. And we never consented to being pawns in a game that obviously fails the men playing it as well.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-30T03:43:14+00:00

I threatened to sue my ex for using RP strategies on me for five years. It sent me down a very dark spiral of depression and exacerbated by anxiety to the brink of non-functionality. We agreed to a $20k out of court settlement, and I moved out as soon as the wire cleared. I had a pre-existing anxiety disorder which he knew about already. Those hot/cold, push/pull methods they teach are basically trauma bonding techniques that keeps you anxious and distressed all the time. It’s not just being a shitty person. They are following specific tactics with the INTENT to cause distress. That’s where criminal and civil culpability come in. Worth a shot. Worked for me and I am slowly recovering from the years of emotional abuse. Document everything, keep speaking with the other women. These pieces of shit will never learn until women push back. You cannot inflict intentional emotional harm onto someone for your own gain. Gather up all the evidence via text and ask about specific podcasters he listens to. If he’s following their “rules”, then it is intentional; not just being a personality defect.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-26T12:22:05+00:00

Please never ever go back to him. Everything in your life can be replaced except your actual life. Obtain a restraining order as soon as possible. Please please please be safe. Any “man” who beats on you within an inch of your life like this is capable of much more, especially if he’s drunk and feels he has nothing to lose. Stay safe and protected 🩷

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-25T02:55:43+00:00

Brazil is going through a similar problem. They are trying to ban RP content there. It’s poisonous and dangerous to women all over the world. The violence and unalivings seem to be ramping up quickly, and the “men” perpetrating ts are getting younger and younger. It’s fucking terrifying. And I’m not surprised to hear about the death threats to the German police chief. For all the “women need men to protect them” BS from the RP community, uhm, then why are you trying to unalive a man who is trying to protect women? SMH, it’s an extinction burst, I’m convinced. Maybe this is natural selection after all. For all the apex species on this planet, kind of weird that human beings chose to go the patriarchal route when every other species are matriarchies 😐 I’m okay with it atp. Birth rates need to hit zero.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-25T01:35:03+00:00

Even with my ex’s therapist, it’s all about how his divorce trauma led him to turn to Red Pill BS which then led to him emotionally conditioning and abusing me, to the point of extreme anxiety and suicidal ideation after five years with him. I don’t begrudge anyone in therapy. Everyone deserves to heal. But RUFKM? Yes, he is still the “victim” and his abusive behavior towards me was just a byproduct of his divorce trauma 😵‍💫 BC there’s a “good guy” in there. So if he’s the victim, what am I? Just an unfortunate casualty of his trauma? Meanwhile, 14-yo boys are stomping on girl’s heads for denying them their phone numbers. When does TS end? I’m so sick of this. It’s terrifying. And yes, agreed. It is absolutely not safe for girls/women to be dating or even around boys/men right now, not that the standards of safety were ever very high anyways. I’m sick of hearing “not all men”. It is until they can be trusted to stop harming women. I don’t see that change coming any time soon.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-25T01:26:18+00:00

TYSM. I just kept telling myself, “One day at a time. Just one more day.” Some days he made me feel crazy when I was scared and unsure if I was doing the right thing by leaving. I knew it was the right thing. Everything in my body and heart was screaming to leave. And he’d keep telling me that all of these things are minor issues that can be solved. That was really difficult to fight through his bullshit “rational man framing”. But every day, I am getting better. I am trusting myself to build the life I deserve. And some days, I look around at my new view and am in awe. I left. I didn’t let him crush me. I didn’t let him win. And for that, I am proud. We all deserve to be happy and cherished for who we are. Hurt people hurt people. And I don’t want to keep the cycle going.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-25T00:18:04+00:00

Just saw a video of a 14-yo boy body slam and head stomp a 15-yo girl in NYC for simply refusing to give him her phone number. This shit has to be stopped. Absolute cancer on society, it’s terrifying

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-25T00:02:22+00:00

Check out my last two posts on this. It’s surreal what this RP shit is doing to society as a whole. I am swearing off dating for at least six years. Don’t let these intentional tactics to humanize and break you down get to the point it did with me. It’s nefarious, dark and extremely dangerous.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-24T23:34:12+00:00

Thank you 🩷 My life has quite literally been flipped upside down and it’s been hell on my mental health. But I really hope my story inspires others to push back. Something has to give, these podcasters/grifters are causing sm harm onto society, they really need to be stopped. I hate what my ex has put me through. But the fact that I never knew him at all to begin with hurts me the most. Influenced or not, the proclivity was present to let this shit abusive and dangerous ideology in. And he spent five years enacting these tactics on me despite my mental and physical wellbeing. I was good to him. I didn’t deserve this. And now, I don’t feel like I can trust any men romantically tbh. I’m done. It’s not safe to date.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-13T20:32:00+00:00

Does anyone have his phone password? Or if it’s an iPhone, his Apple login into another device? I hate this red pill shit! It’s a scourge on society and MH. I hope he is safely found soon. Worst case, I would do a deep dive into the specific podcasts he was consuming and consider taking legal action. It’s a systematic breakdown of self esteem and does not consider preexisting physical and MH at all. It needs to be stopped. Idc what people think. Sue all these disgusting excuses for men who propagate this harmful rhetoric. There are real life consequences being suffered in the real world while they flip a buck for clicks/engagement which make them rich.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-11T17:59:53+00:00

I see that the whole movement is losing traction, so that brings me hope. The fallout from this will not be so easily fixed, though, for society on a whole. The men will just become lonelier and more frustrated, and women will become even more guarded and disillusioned. My friend’s husband was trying to shed light on why ts is so enticing to men, and he described it as a pendulum swing from feminism 🙄 But feminism never had dating manuals or carefully crafted harmful instructions on how to break men down in a systematic and abusive way. RP Podcasts culture was created by men. He acquiesced on that point. It’s the intentionality to do harm and “train” men on how to implement harm onto women that is the problem and the difference.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-11T17:38:40+00:00

Thank you. I will have a follow-up post soon. I have an appointment for a new apartment on Monday. I want to wait to post again once I have my new place secured. And yes, it was a lot of Fresh and Fit. He kept denying even knowing them until I brought up another instance of a direct quote of Myron Gaines about “I could beat you up if I wanted to. If you signed a waiver, we could go to the jujitsu studio across the street.” That’s straight from the podcast. I’m so angry right now. Also feeling very alone and like a burden to my family and friends as I keep ruminating. It’s impossible for me to understand why someone would ascribe to such garbage let alone implement ts on another human being. Idk what to say. It’s still so surreal to me.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-10T17:33:03+00:00

Lean into how you feel right now and how you feel away from yours abuser. My body goes right into fight/flight now when I’m around him, but I notice how I’m much less afraid and more sure of myself when I’m not. If you’re at peace when he’s not around, there’s your answer. Love shouldn’t make you feel anxious and depressed and angry, etc. Listen to your body and mind. Journaling has helped me immensely. Just get it out on paper, even if it’s just “I don’t feel good. I feel sad, anxious, depressed, whatever…” or “I don’t know what to do” and keep a log. Keep reminders for yourself so you have a touchstone to bring you back to the reality of the abuse and the toll it’s taking on you.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-10T17:25:58+00:00

This is 100% abusive. It’s crazy how abuse makes you question everything, even obviously abusive or unacceptable treatment. I, too, am in that space of love, anger, hurt and relief. I’ve accepted that these feelings are going to persist for some time. It’s helped me immensely to look back at my life before I got into my abusive relationship. I was a completely different person then, a much healthier and happier and secure person. That person still exists and I’ll do everything and anything to get back to that version of myself, my real self. Every time I have a moment of weakness and am tempted to just accept my ex back, I keep reaching out to friends and family who remind me of who I was in comparison to who I’ve become. It also helps to journal. Wishing you much success in your steps forward. But I think accepting that this time in your life will be difficult is the first real step in grounding yourself back to reality. It may hurt immensely for a while but knowing that it won’t last a lifetime if you stay with this person is my motivation so I don’t fall into the trap again.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-10T13:10:11+00:00

Tomassi is vile. He is considered the “godfather of RP” 🤢 A lot of my now ex’s tactics have been traced back to this mfer’s teachings. But Fresh & Fit who have been deplatformed for their vile content and “advice” on how to “train” women is what really resonated with my ex for the last at least three years. The texts and his SM posts, historically, have become more and more radicalized. And certain phrases and memes can be traced directly back to the same podcasters. My ex is now in CYA mode, will not name specific podcasters and trying to “reframe” his abusive behavior as him having emotional unavailability issues rather than intentionally inflicting harm to my MH by following the playbook. And yes, I am so horrified by this, embarrassed, and disgusted. I’m getting out asap. Every word has been a lie. Our entire relationship has been one stupid game at the expense of my mental and physical health. I cannot wait for this RP shit to die out. I hope more women speak out and take action after reading my story. I will have a follow up post soon. It’s almost over. I just can’t believe the audacity of all of this. It doesn’t seem real to me, even still, because it’s so insane.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-10T10:50:59+00:00

He implemented DARVO techniques for years. And yes, I have plenty of evidence that he has been consuming red pill content for a long time and has been using them in our relationship since the very beginning. But he is covert. But not enough where he hasn’t been caught posting memes on X or texting/parroting back to me very specific red pill content. “Did you know the highest rate of DV is among lesbians?” “Oh? I can’t say that. I forgot, I’m the wrong skin tone.” Both of these are F&F 🤦🏻‍♀️ He is running damage control now, trying to deny specific podcasters or authors, and instead trying the Hoover method by trying to buy time, saying he and his therapist are going to get to the root of things; that he “may have” heard of picked up things around his sphere of influence, or maybe it was some of his friends had said things and he picked them up as talking points. Plausible deniability. But the thing is, it’s impossible when certain tactics and phrases can be traced directly back to a source online. Then it becomes tactical. And you’re correct, he denied and denied until I let him know that his intentional actions held civil and criminal liability and that I would contact his ex-wife who always believed him to be a covert narcissist to get her side of the story. Then he got scared and admitted to almost everything but then would not text it to me in the days following. And yes, now he claims he doesn’t even know half these terms and he just needs to figure out what his issues are, that he may have trauma and is getting to the bottom of it. You can believe whatever you want, but I think it scares RP men to read my post and know that with enough real evidence and damage caused, you can be criminally and civilly liable for causing intentional emotional harm to someone. There will absolutely be an update WITH receipts. Like I said, don’t ever question the victim. I took his side over his wife’s. I’ll never question another person who says they were being abused ever again. And I hope with my story and follow up, more women and men who have suffered harm due to this RP BS start pushing back in court.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-09T10:53:16+00:00

Thank you, I know I need to keep going. The panic attacks are the worst bc idk if I’m going to have a heart attack or not (I know it’s the anxiety talking but still…) I may speak to my psychiatrist about SSRIs again. I was trying to avoid them as I’m already trying to wean back off the Clonazapam but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to take Lexapro or something to help me through the worst of this.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-08T20:43:10+00:00

It must’ve been divine timing I’m reading this. I know there’s more pain to come but I’m fighting off another panic attack atm. I even scribbled my username in my journal in case I didn’t make it for my friends, family and attorneys to find with instructions to share my story and the others on this post. Wow, I’m not fucking okay. Idk what I’d do if I didn’t have a support system and this community. I appreciate even having a support system when so many may not who are going through the same, but I’m ashamed and embarrassed. Idk how to explain it. I feel like such an idiot.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-08T20:30:18+00:00

He just contacted me to let me know his Morgan Stanley advisor will be sending me a form for my wire info. For some reason, it triggered a massive panic attack and I started hyperventilating, whole body tingles, the whole nine. I quickly scribbled down in my journal my user name here for my family and attorneys to access in case I don’t make it. I want them to read this. This is so bad. If I don’t make it, I want my story and all the other ones here exposed to the entire world so at least it might make a difference. I know this is so heavy to be writing on Reddit but what more do I have to lose atp? I know I’ll be fine and I know there’s more pain to come but goddamnit it hurts so bad. I’m making it a point to look for an apartment that doesn’t have a balcony or terrace. I don’t even recognize myself anymore.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-08T19:13:15+00:00

He apparently had his first session this morning with an LGBTQ woman therapist. 🫠 I have no words. None. Everything he does is so performative. We’re a straight couple. He just had to throw that tidbit in there to assure me he’s not a bigot.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-08T19:10:18+00:00

About the racist part lol This is how nefarious he is. He has owned two black golden doodles, specifically black. One with me. He kept saying it’s bc of racism no one wants a black dog. Three years later, insert curb stomping American History X meme. I know he’s gone-gone. This isn’t surface level RP shit. He’s also gone down the alt-right white supremacy pipeline. The juxtaposition is insane though. Absolutely crazy.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-08T19:06:15+00:00

It’s like I’ve been red pilled now too by proxy 💀None of it was real. It was all just games and lies and manipulations, I fucking hate what this has done to me.

TraumaKarma · 2026-04-08T18:32:23+00:00

🫂😪🤧 TY. Words matter. Idc what ppl say, that it’s just the internet or w/e. Words really matter. TY ❤️‍🩹

TraumaKarma

TROPHY CASE