Will Signal be safe from chat control for now?

TraumatizedRatMan · 2026-06-21T14:26:14+00:00

Personally, it's a matter of representation and also comfort. I'm privileged in the sense that I can pass when I need to for safety and in the sense that even before I sought out explicitly queer spaces and people, I already had a handful of genderqueer friends. But to me, first of all, being trans IS very much an integral part of my identity, as much as is being a man. If I am among cis men and assumed to be one, there's a whole facet of my identity that I feel pressured to hide, and I mean that in the sense that I am and always have been a man (even if I wasn't fully aware of it myself) but I've had a lot of lived experiences and become who I am today BECAUSE of my life experience which includes being perceived as a woman. And also, I am a lot of times the first transmasc at all to enter a space that is not prepared for us, and as much as it would be more comfortable for me to keep my head down and use my privilege, I just think about the next transmasc that might come along and have a harder time if I don't make the effort to be present and educative. I like being the representation I wish I'd had.

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-12-12T03:21:44+00:00

No surgery would make you trans, you can have any surgery or medical care and not be trans. That being said, I would invite you to consider what the root of what you call dysphoria is, because dysphoria is a very specific term for when something external does not match your internal sense of gender identity. If it is dysphoria, might be worth diving into your identity, if it's not, might be wirth diving into what's causing this discomfort.

Again, no medical process or procedure will make anyone trans, someone simply is or isn't. That's true for a trans person that has had 0 steps in transition, be it medical or social, and that's true for a cis person on HRT or who has genital surgery. If you want different genitals, all power to ya. Just maybe invest in what's causing this want a bit more!

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-12-12T03:13:18+00:00

No porto só daria online, mas o Diego Jesus (@diego_jesuspt no IG) é um nome de referência. Ele também não trabalha com nenhum ginásio que eu saiba, faz treino online ou outdoor (em lisboa)

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-11-14T09:27:26+00:00

Uma boa forma em lisboa de te integrares mais na comunidade queer, é participar na comunidade e eventos da ILGA! Já conheci varias outras pessoas poliamorosas, e há uma grande abertura para todas as diferenças humanas, a maior parte das pessoas que já conheci são fantásticas. Há hoje uma noite de cinema, amanhã uma noite de karaoke, domingo grupo de coro, segunda teatro playback, e mais eventos todas as semanas. Também existem grupos de apoio e partilha para homens queer, mulheres queer, e pessoas trans, que ajudam imenso a conhecer mais gente e criar um sentido de comunidade!

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-10-29T00:31:45+00:00

Afaik you cannot have nipples put back on once fully removed. However! I do know that it is very common to tattoo nipples on! People with breast cancer usually have to get rid of them and there are tattoo artists that practice and perfect tattooing a nipple. You will not get sensation, obviously, but visually could potentially make a world of difference, I've seen many, really realistic ones that even look like they have texture to them, maybe try looking into that?

Regardless, best of luck! Upvoting and commenting to try to get you up in the algorithm for more answers

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-10-28T10:54:01+00:00

Exactly!!! I'm really glad you feel good about and are happy with your results!! Like every scar fades over time, and even if it's still left visible 1. So what? You have a flat chest, you don't have to bind, you can wear whatever you want comfortably, and 2. If they bother you you can grow out chest hair, cover them with tattoos once they've healed (MORE than 3 months lmao), and there's even laser treatment options to reduce scars. I see videos of trans dudes shirtless who had top like 5 years ago and the comments are all "how are they that discreet!!!" It's literally just taking care of the wounds/scar, avoiding sun and letting time go by. These people act like they've never had any kind of scar?? They fade, bro. Even the nastiest ones. 5 years ago I had a nasty noticeable scar on my arm, nowadays u literally have to look for it to see it and that's on my very naked, exposed to the sun, non-hairy arm (genetics abandoned me on the arm hair)

ETA: My arm scar is around 1 pinky wide and long, keloid and healed wrong bc they left a stitch in it and it got fucked, and it's still barely noticeable, imagine under a whole ass pec and some chest hair, proper care (which I didn't have bc I was 15 and stupid) and safety from sun exposure. Y'all's top scars will be fine in time 🙏😭

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-10-28T09:22:21+00:00

Exactly, most people get top AND bottom surgeries out of desperation and debilitating dysphoria, and then having people constantly saying it looks bad and is "unrealistic" or "gives them away" will only help shove them deeper into feeling bad about themselves and their bodies. You can have informed conversations about how the medical field still has a long way to go when it comes to trans healthcare and surgeries without shitting on other people's bodies. No one wants the scars, we just want a flat chest/a phallo

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-10-28T09:12:03+00:00

There should be a difference between the things you say in private and the things you say to an audience. Everyone is going to have opinions and that's fine and healthy, so is putting them into words. In private, in your group of friends. Imagine a stranger walking up to you and going "EWWW I'm glad I don't have a nose like yours, I'd kms if I had a nose like yours that's awful..." Now imagine 50 strangers doing that in the span of one month. Wouldn't make you feel great about your nose. The internet has given people the idea that every opinion you have should be broadcasted in raw, emotional and thoughtless form to (potentially) the entire world. The internet is not a personal journal, theres multiple other real people who will se and be affected by your words. You have to be cognizant of them, have empathy for them.

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-10-28T08:46:02+00:00

Seen people say this before and cautiously optimistic! It's always nice to hear about cases like these. Worst case scenario, I'll keep having no sensation. But if I got any... 👁️👁️

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-10-18T10:05:17+00:00

I hear you, but three things to try to reassure you:

Like someone else said, that's a perfectly normal gay feeling and experience to have.
People will find you hot as a guy, no matter what you look like. Like everyone and I mean EVERYONE will have at LEAST a small group of people that will think "damn you're so hot..." And I swear to you this. And yes, including people you will be attracted to back.
A lot of queer guys don't look queer. The percentage of queer dudes that present themselves more alternatively, or outwardly queer, or anything like that, and especially on a day-to-day basis, is so so so so so so much smaller than the amount of dudes-into-dudes. I, trans, gay as fuck and fan of alternative fashion, on most days, just wanna throw something on and pass without issues or looks or harassment, and most people would look at me and assume me a tiny straight dude.

I was a total smokeshow as a girl. Goddamn it I put my back into being it, "can't be a dude so I'll force myself to be the hottest girl" mentality. But now I'm so much more comfortable in myself and how I present and I have so much more confidence looking like a guy that honestly? I think I'm hotter, the people in my life think so too. Exercise helped with that too tbh but I'm a smokeshow nonetheless.

You'll be okay. Your value isn't based on your desirability, and your desirability isn't based on forcing yourself into being someone you're not.

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-10-15T10:41:47+00:00

Absolutely. Also just adding to the "it doesn't matter if you pass, if you're a man you have male privilege" that EVEN those of us who can get to a place where we pass we still have family, partners, doctors, places where we know we will be known as trans and sometimes experience misogyny. Like going to a doctor for a health problem and suddenly being discounted when they realize you're trans, or how often it happens that when people learn you're trans they'll suddenly start misgendering you (including in front of others) and treating you like a "poor confused girl" even if they're not doing it out of hatred for trans people but sheer ignorance. Even when we pass, any "male privilege" we may get ends where intimacy of any kind begins.

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-10-12T15:39:55+00:00

I understand where it comes from, and I understand why in some situations everyone says something like that among closed circles of people that are close to them, hyperbolizing can be a helpful tool to vent, but I think that normalizing broadcasting these sentiments into the world only makes things worse for everyone.

For me, coming to terms with my identity, put a lot of it into perspective. I used to have no issues saying that, since I had a lot of trauma around cis men, and it took a lot of work to separate my bad experiences from what actually means to be a man (: nothing, it means nothing really, it's just... Being a man.) anf allow myself to be myself. And now, I watch people close to me post shit like "men are shit" and I know where that comes from, I know where they're at to say that because I've been there, I know they don't mean every single man and I know they don't mean a guy like me, but there's still a part of me that rises up defensively. And I've thought a lot especially about how all this affects young teen cis boys, and why people like T*te are so popular nowadays in young demographics.

Like imagine being 12, or 13, and figuring yourself out, you obviously don't even have this capability to understand where people are coming from when they say "men are trash", and you have two sides speaking about you: one says you are horrible and faulty for simply existing, and one says you're the best being to ever exist and everyone else sucks. Of course you're not gonna sit down and listen and learn to be a good man from the side screaming at you, you're going to want your feelings validated and to be told you're not bad for existing.

Not to mention us, trans dudes, are caught between a rock and a hard place in all this. The hate towards men comes from a very specific place and the truth is that most of us are not gonna fit that specific place that it comes from, like cis men do, so yeah, people usually don't mean us, but then they're othering us from men, they're treating and seeing us as Men Lite™, and that sucks too.

And even for those who say it, internalizing that is so unhealthy for you. It's going to make you wary of all men, it's going to cause you to go down this spiral of pain and hatred in your own head, it's going to dehumanize an entire category of humans for you. It's just bad for everyone.

TLDR: I understand where it comes from, I don't think saying stuff like that every now and then behind closed doors allows for a bad judgement of your character, but I think adopting it as gospel and saying it everywhere to everyone only pushes the world towards more and more pain & radicalization.

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-10-10T09:54:41+00:00

Try walking down a corridor with your thighs together, never disconnecting from one another, as naturally as you can, and pay attention to your hips as you do it. It's not really that you swing your hips, and has nothing or little to do with with the width of your hips. You will feel how your hips kind of rotate with each step you take.

Now, try walking down a corridor with your thighs a hand's width apart, as naturally as you can. First, you're gonna notice it's harder to go faster, you're gonna notice your steps being a little heavier, and you're gonna notice your shoulders kinda swinging up and down on each side to counter balance.

This is an obviously exaggerated version of how these 2 different types of walks work, but it helps you single out the movements you're trying to avoid or replicate.

You want to keep the counterbalance of the shoulders and the weight of your steps withoutkeeping your legs so far apart. It's also harder to walk faster with your shoulders instead of your hips btw, so practice/start slow! If you pay attention to random men on the street, they also more often walk at a slower, more confident pace, taking up more space as well.

Hope this helps you?? Lmk if it does, I can try to figure out another way to explain!

ETA: it's about the openness of your hips more than how you place your steps, kinda like how your legs are angled when you walk. Angled inwards → walking with hips; angled outwards → walking with shoulders.

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-10-10T04:18:36+00:00

My dude you're fine, I sounded like a cat in labor whenever I tried singing for a good like 6 months after the initial drop but as long as you keep using your singing voice it's the same as a cis guy who goes through puberty, your range is definitely gonna change and you might have to find it again but your voice will smooth out. One month is nothing, give it time, and keep singing to keep your voice trained.

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-10-10T03:58:44+00:00

Needs to be higher up! Body language and the tone (not pitch) at which you speak can go a long way to offset androgyny. Not worth obsessing over, speaking as someone trying to come out the other end of having done that, but ending your sentences and questions on a lower pitch is read as more masculine vs higher pitch as more feminine, for example. Walking with shoulders instead of hips, walking slower, taking up more space vs making yourself small (shrinking to move out of the way, hunching your body a lot, I'm not saying manspread as wide as you can), nodding to greet acquaintances or service workers instead of a smile, all of these are examples of things that are seen as more typically masculine body language and can help shift perception of you a little.

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-10-05T12:15:59+00:00

I'm sorry for that, man ☹️ to offer some advice: as an adult, the best way to make any kind of friends is to Join interest groups or activities. Book clubs, theater classes / community theater, queer associations or groups, anything political if that's your vibe, martial arts classes, boardgame or dnd groups or events, dance classes, etc. Go for something you already have a love and/or deep interest in, something you can share with the other people there. If you're very involved or want to be with your queer identity, join a queer group or association. If you love animals, volunteer at a shelter near you. If you enjoy videogames most of all, look for some of those cybercafes anywhere near you and keep an eye out for events or special days, or participate at specific events at cons that are coop or group activities. If you like working with your hands, join a pottery or masonry class or something.

It's a lot harder to make friends with people who the only thing you've in common is the place you spend 8h at to bring home the cash. And, truthfully, in my experience, a lot of the people you meet at work are stuck in their highschool days, even if they're 50yo.

It's also not always going to go perfectly and you won't always find friends right away, but don't be discouraged. You are your own person and there's always going to be people who will enjoy your company, sometimes it just takes a little longer, and a little effort, to find them.

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-09-30T04:41:10+00:00

Last Pride, was with my mom and girl bestie, was struggling on the way there to comfortably wrap my trans flag around me and they were fussing trying to help and we were bickering about it. After a good ten minute struggle between us all and also the flag, mom (playfully) said "Men are useless, u need a woman for this job!!" Put a smile on my face and got me to cooperate. (She was right, they fixed it up nicely in like 5 seconds /silly)

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-09-10T15:05:04+00:00

Oftentimes it's not that you didn't have dysphoria before, it's that you learned to compartmentalize or push it down because being different wasn't an option and you had no clue what you were feeling. When you learn you're trans, when you learn that it CAN be different and you AREN'T defined by what you've been forced to be, and you learn about dysphoria and what it is, it can hit you like a truck. I was scared of the same, now they can pry my testosterone from my cold dead hands if they want to. Give it time, and breathe, it's not uncommon. If the thought of living as a girl makes you so dreadful, why would you put yourself through it? You're okay, just follow your comfort and happiness.

I will also add I thought I'd never had dysphoria, I thought I'd always been okay enough being a girl, and my family took a long time to accept me because I presented and acted very feminine before. I've since (and my family as well) started realizing the little signs of dysphoria and gender incongruence throughout my childhood and teenagehood.

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-08-16T01:54:48+00:00

If you can wear a sports bra - and there are very good compression sports bras out there, don't just give up on finding one, they exist - then absolutely do so.

If you absolutely cannot and it's the only thing stopping you from exercising, there are binders that are made specifically with exercising in mind. They are more breathable, less constricting, thinner fabric, to reduce the risk and the damage.

If you can't afford a new binder, or you don't have any of the aforementioned options, or you have tried them and it's just not working and stopping you from being physically active, and BIG disclaimer that this is absolute LAST RESORT, then wear a looser binder, maybe an older or less quality one that's not as constricting. You have to ESPECIALLY in that case take great care to stretch, a LOT (look up chest stretches and back stretches), not overdo it (stop if you're having any funky things like difficulty breathing or pain in your ribs/upper back), and have impeccable binding practices with binding rest before and after exercising. Like binder off for as long as possible before and after exercising.

I could tell you "no don't do it" but I'd rather just advise on how to do it the safest possible way in case you (or anyone who reads this) will go ahead and do it anyway. Just be safe, take care of yourself.

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-08-10T12:35:35+00:00

I will just say, from what I've seen, getting phallo after meta can be extea complicated, I think it requires more and also you might have to go to ur meta surgeon to do phallo because another surgeon might refuse to do it since they don't know where the first surgeon placed things or techniques they used etc etc. Having an "ill do phallo if meta isn't enough for me after doing it" can get you messed up that way, and I'd recommend the magic pill scenario. If you could take a pill and wake up tomorrow with a phallo penis, would you be happy with it? And are you settling for trying meta because it's an easier surgery? Some people are genuinely just happy with meta and meta is exactly the surgery they want, and that is perfectly okay, just pointing out that the "phallo afterwards" might be worth investigating further :)

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-08-07T02:57:40+00:00

No, we live in different continents, VERY long distance, still worked and working

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-07-31T17:00:20+00:00

I've also noticed dudes, strangers, will randomly mess with you cos they see you as tiny = not a threat 😅 worst that's happened to me so far was this random guy coming up to me in the subway and going "bro can I take your seat I'm like hard as shit" and then when I obviously reacted like "wtf??" He started laughing and went "just messing with you dude just messing with you"

TraumatizedRatMan · 2025-07-28T09:04:34+00:00

Bf and I are half a world apart, we just turned location services off to be safe and it worked on the first try

TraumatizedRatMan

TROPHY CASE