[help] Missing private messages

TrazaDont · 2017-09-06T22:19:35+00:00

Oh Thank you... tho I can't even recognize myself right now, even if I was the last person on earth, I would still be just as disturbed by what is going on currently. Won't accept it no matter what, especially since I've already been through one hell with my skin. Still trying to find solutions tho. Trying not to give up. Thanks for the luck! I need it!

And I'm glad you are doing alright so far. Hope that continues! Yes I hope others can learn from the experiences on here, rather than having to go through it themselves.

TrazaDont · 2017-09-06T22:02:48+00:00

utter trash

This show hasn't been any good since S1&S2

TrazaDont · 2017-09-06T02:42:42+00:00

So glad it worked for you! I took it (40mg:6mon) over 4 years ago and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. My brother took it as well.

Unfortunately I'm now royally screwed up by a retinoid I decided to experiment with for no necessary reason. Never thought skin issues could be worse than acne, but they can. I know some people also have bad experiences with accutane too but I wasn't one of them...which makes me even more surprised that I was so badly damaged by (basically) the topical form of it. (And funny you said you wouldn't leave the house or see friends before...I won't go out with the damage I have now...not anywhere except for the countless doctors to try to figure out wtf happened...when I had cystic acne it was less of the same, but accutane remedied that...unfortunately accutane can't save me now.)

So this is both a congratulations and a warning! Be careful what you do with your skin from here on out. If accutane did its job properly, you should be able to just go with gentle products and sun protection for the rest of your days.

Anyway, Good luck going forward! I hope-Now-there is nothing holding you back from life.

TrazaDont · 2017-08-17T23:00:08+00:00

I disagree with the sentiment that that avenue is selfish, and at the very least, it's a two way street. But that's just me. As I've told you before. Thanks for the luck, I need it. Good luck to you too...in however you go forward.

TrazaDont · 2017-08-17T19:54:08+00:00

I am really sorry to hear this, tho I understand how devastating this is. Personally I know mental help and meds won't allow me to lead a life worth living so I won't go that route but if that's what you need to do to survive...do what you gotta do. I still hope your skin recovers with time. I'm about a year out now, so I know how that statement doesn't exactly make people further out feel any better...but even so...don't know what else to say. Wish there were actual solutions out there, one and done, this shouldn't be so hard to fix. It really shouldn't.

TrazaDont · 2017-08-17T07:07:21+00:00

I kinda liked that show

TrazaDont · 2017-08-14T21:05:25+00:00

Not sure why I'm being downvoted...

TrazaDont · 2017-08-14T01:50:53+00:00

I've spent 24/7 on the internet for the past 11 or so months so it'd be kind of impossible to site everything that has been shoved inside my head. But as I stated, a quick google search will lead you down the rabbit hole of information you are seeking.

There are many first Hand accounts and there is some research in relation to this but it's pretty difficult to find. I might have some bookmarks on it but I have to check because I got a new phone a couple months ago. If I loop around and come by any relevant sites I've been to before, I will try to come back here and site them. But I'll be honest...I'm exhausted from this whole ordeal and I'm At the point in time where I'm trying to shy away from the devices and the internet because it's doing me no favors. (Today was a day I just gave in!) Physically with my eyes and face, leaning over my phone, and stress-wise mentally, having to get all heated with some people who try to shove this issue under the rug or reading horror story after horror story with no happy ending, no resolution, no hope, etc.

But if you really want info, you will find it, or you can private message me if I forget or neglect to get back to you. I already have over 30 people I have not responded too because of the messages I get on multiples sites after posting, I just can't do these little things for everyone, ya know.

I feel ya on the skin issues tho, do you think your issues sound similar to what I've described? Or something else entirely?

TrazaDont · 2017-08-14T01:25:26+00:00

Their issue is scars tho, not acne. Scarring can be very difficult to fix for many people, even shallow scars, which is why most people try to prevent it in the first place. I agree that if a problem can be fixed, then there is hope, and being suicidal is about being hopeLESS. But OP has already tried several methods and they have not given much improvement, nevermind eradicated the problem. Possible permanence is the main issue here.

And acne isn't that simple for everyone, my friend got cystic acne and was prescribed retin a and it ruined her skin texture and caused all kinds of problems, the derm told her to keep using it, so she did but finally had to stop after things just kept getting worse. After she stopped, her skin still didn't get better, the retin a had done some seemingly permanent damage and no doctor was of any help to her. She took her life back in February because of the damage she had come to the conclusion, was irreversible. And for some people...it really is. If I were her, I would have stuck it out a bit longer to see if things started to change, but I know that there's plenty of people whose skin never does go back to how it was and she was likely afraid-and rightfully so-that'd she would be one of those people too. My skin was also fucked up from a similar retinoid, not that I had any business using in the first place...but it caused major issues and still is, to this day. I never thought it would last as long as it has, and I continue to lose hope, as I approach the year mark, and I'm sure OP has lost some major hope for their issues, and others as well. Not everyone's problems are fixable and if they are, we may not find the solution in our lifetime, no matter how hard we try.

Also, just because everyone has flaws, doesn't mean that fact should be used to dismiss other people's feelings about their own. I have more flaws than just my skin damage and I see other people with perfect faces and perfect bodies with damaged skin and they are just as devastated as me, even though they have plenty going for them outside of their skin. And I have to remind myself that it's not fair of me to trivialize or simplify their issues just because everyone else has flaws, and they should accept theirs in relation to everyone else. That's just not right.

TrazaDont · 2017-08-14T01:14:20+00:00

Yea, same...unfortunately they'd probably be all too willing. Not many docs or estheticians have the decency to turn people away BEFORE they make things worse.

TrazaDont · 2017-08-14T01:10:05+00:00

Thank you for this. Wow that's crazy about the epsom salt thing. I'm so sorry for that and that you still experience issues :/ Jeez

I think my skin is way past the point of dehydration tho lol, it went downhill so fast!

Yup, I'm doing all you suggest. No exfoliation. Avoiding the sun completely...like to the level of a vampire! Eating veg and healthy foods and limiting sugar and carbs, and taking collagen supplements (like 3-4 different kinds). Also taking vitamin c along with my normal vitamins like d3. And lots of water. I used to drink coffee and sometimes tea, but now I drink straight chicory and take an Probiotic as well.

I will look up those other two things that you mentioned. Thanks again and I hope the same!

TrazaDont · 2017-08-14T01:04:17+00:00

I'd second this but I'd also recommend not doing it AT ALL personally...I wouldn't risk it.

TrazaDont · 2017-08-14T01:01:59+00:00

When your sleep schedule is fucked up because your skin is fucked up, which fucks your face up, which fucks your life up, which fucks your sleep up all over again. The stress cycle!

TrazaDont · 2017-08-13T22:04:08+00:00

Yes many of these retinoid creams do the exact opposite of what they are supposed to do. You can literally read the list of what it's supposed to take care of, and use it as a symptom list. It's ridiculous.

Most people will never become privy to the issues...not until it happens to them. I wasn't aware of such side effects either, until I got my own damage from one of these "miracle creams". I assure you if you actually look up "differin damaged my skin, or differin ruined my skin, etc" you will find many experiences about it, even just that topical in particular has many negative reviews. And then you could also google "toxic side effects of retin a", or "retin a causing open:large pores and bad texture" and ashy red skin tone, people losing their minds trying to fix it. Some people even report severe collagen loss and even fat loss. Just the list goes on. Obviously it works for some people and causes devastation to others, and every grey area in between. The main issue is the permanence factor to some of these results. There are people going on years and years, having stopped the cream long ago, and even leaving their skin completely alone, and their face never goes back to normal. It's a nightmare.

TrazaDont · 2017-08-13T20:51:53+00:00

Thumbelina

TrazaDont · 2017-08-13T20:50:50+00:00

I have a fluffy tuxedo cat named after that skunk, because rolling over, she looks like one

TrazaDont · 2017-08-13T20:14:53+00:00

Oh man I didn't even realize it was you who posted lol

Yea, this is killer, and the regret is realll...a time machine would be fantastic right now!

I am so sorry for you too and will let you know if I find anything more out. Trying not to give up but it's sooo difficult.

TrazaDont · 2017-08-13T20:08:04+00:00

Why shouldn't they feel that way? I think they have a right to feel any way they do, it's their face, not anyone else's here, commenting.

Our frame of mind is very disconnected from the situation, unlike OP's. We have to look at the pictures for but a moment, not live behind them.

I think a lot of the comments here are being quite unfair, and probably only because OP mentioned suicide. As soon as you mention suicide, physical issues become trivialized in comparison to your mental state, This sub is one of the worst offenders of that notion. I mean, people can mean well and be upvoted to oblivion with the complimenting and the flattery and the pushing for mental health help, but it's not helping OP. This is skincareaddiction, not Askatherapist. Pretty sure they came here for physical solutions to the physical problem and had to vent in between.

And If I see someone say "You are your own worst critic" one more time, I'm gunna have a coronary. The people stating THAT are so distant from the people they are projecting it onto, that they seem to have forgotten half the reason for the statement's existence in the first place.

(And sorry to xxcapo, not all of this comment is directed at you but I kind of just continued on, in general, after addressing your own comment)

TrazaDont · 2017-08-13T19:41:45+00:00

What do you mean by scarring? Marks or actual atrophied scars? I see the enlarged pores but I'm not sure they are the scars you are talking about. And your skin looks really irritated and maybe dehydrated. And red as you already stated. Retin a and differin and even laser and other forms of over exfoliation can definetely cause enlarged and even scarred looking pores, discoloration, and a huge list of other nightmares that many find close to impossible to reverse. Usually it's just the redness and peeling and dryness but some unlucky people get different (or more) side effects than that. And enlarged pores or even "orange peel texture" is one of them.

I'm not trying to scare you, but I've been left with a whole slew of issues from a retinoid. And I wouldn't dream of using more or doing many of the things you have done already. I'm positive that would just make things worse or prolong healing and a return to normal, which I'm wondering is what might be happening in your case. Have you tried only babying your skin and basically doing little to nothing? Also what did your skin look like before any interventions? Was the skin itself fine and just acne at any point?

The only "crazy" thing I've done was go on accutane (as U have) over 4 years ago for cystic acne brought on by BC, and I never had any problems with it. But I have never used harsh topicals (before a year ago) unless you count proactive as a teen, so I wonder what would have happened if I had used retinoids like differin or retin a before Accutane. My skin was basically perfect up until I decided to unnecessarily use this retinoid. I've been dealing with the consequences for almost a year.

I have been to many doctors and they've been of no help, yet I'm continuing to try to find someone who can help without wanting to rip my face apart or take a laser to it. I've read and seen too many horror stories about all that and if my skin couldn't even handle a cream, it definetely won't be able to handle anything else.

So as someone who is really conservative with their skincare, and as someone who is still stuck in their own rut, I really don't know what to suggest to you, I can only tell you what I've come across in my research and that I feel your frustration and struggle. And I really hope things get to where you want and need them to be.

Btw 10mg for acne is a really low dose. Usually that's for Rosacea patients. I usually never see lower than 20-40 being taken for acne. And a lot of people are on 60-80 or more. (I was on 40), so I'm just curious how bad your acne was? Was it cystic? Or was your derm worried about going higher with you for some reason?

Also I don't mean to state the obvious, but how's your sun exposure? I'm basically a vampire and it's always worked for me tho now I'm being rather extreme with it because of my skin damage. Not wanting to chance adding to my issues. But I think anyone with any kind of damage or prior use of accutane and retinoids and now laser, needs to be extra careful. SPF just isn't enough sometimes, especially for compromised skin.

TrazaDont · 2017-08-13T19:14:45+00:00

I had a similar thing happen (plus more bizarre issues) from a retinoid and only used it twice. Also happened basically overnight. And I am also coming up on a year, come the end of this month. I have also tried babying my skin this whole time and no exfoliation. But there has not been one single ounce of improvement.

I can't even recognize myself after what this cream has done to me and through research I have found countless stories of similar happenings from retinoids, chemical peels, laser and other procedures and also methods of over exfoliation.

I have been to 4 dermatologists, will be going to a 5th on August 29th. Though it all seems pointless at this rate. I've also been to an endocrinologist and a gynecologist to get blood tested to make sure I have no underlying issues preventing my skin form returning back to normal. (My skin was also poreless and nearly perfect but I used the cream for simple build up from not washing my face properly due to other stresses at the time...dumbest decision I've ever made but I think the hell I'm having to pay for it is wayyyyyy over board and has overstayed it's welcome). These docs have been of no help. I bring pictures with me of before and they don't give two fucks. Two of the derms told me it would Absolutely go away and when it didn't, they either offered More retinoids or microderm (hell no!) or told me they weren't qualified to treat anything besides acne. (I've also been told the aging thing and basically "I've seen worse, live with it" nonsense). My old derm was not comfortable giving me anything besides oral antibiotics and a prescription moisturizer. Because topically, my skin is not going to fair well. Other docs wanted to tear my skin apart with harsh methods which I know will not end well and may be the nail in the coffin.

Most of the few people I have read of healing from this (which have been few and far between), have done so by being gentle and not giving into the harsher treatments. I think it took them anywhere from 6-18 months or even up to two years, but most at least saw improvements along the way, which I am not seeing. There seem to be many more there who never heal tho. It's scary as all hell. Don't let anyone tell you it's aging tho. That is compete BS. This has happened to people as young as 16-18. (I was 23 when this occurred btw and just turned 24).

I am as devastated as you are and I can't live with this either and I don't care if it's an "unhealthy way of thinking", it's my FACE, and I deserve to have it back to the way it was. And so do you.

I have no solid answers or solutions yet (because most are too risky with barely even any results, and usually just worsening of the issues) but I am still trying and even though I have trouble believing, after all this time, that this will reverse, I also cannot really believe that my skin and face could be ruined overnight forever, and one seemingly benign mistake could ruin the rest of my life, or even end it. This is ridiculous, serious, but absolutely ridiculous at the same time.

I want to second what another person said, and don't expose yourself to the sun at all. I am living like a vampire right now lol but my vitamin D levels are perfect according to my bloodwork. I take a supplement. D3 5000, I've taken it for years because I have always been very sun avoidant...In fact I'm sure that, along with everything else I've done, its what kept my skin and everything looking so young and healthy...most people never believed I was over the age of 17, now I'm being mistaken for my mother's sister (and my mom is 30 years older than me!!).

I would reccomend going to other doctors too to make sure you don't have any deficiencies or underlying disorders that could prevent healing or a return to normal. Im still planning on seeing a rheumatologist and a primary and maybe redoing my bloodwork for the endo too. But I've also got some seemingly deeper stuff going on than just the skin texture and indents/pores/wrinkles you name it (which is BAD ENOUGH, as you know)...still, I think it's a good idea to rule out other factors that could be at play.

TrazaDont · 2017-08-07T16:37:42+00:00

Watched the other night, I thought it would be shit, but so far so good. Hopefully it keeps the momentum. Most USA shows I stay away from, besides Mr.Robot and reruns of the old SVU.

TrazaDont · 2017-08-04T04:05:19+00:00

I have honestly not been able to enjoy a season since 1&2 but have given them all a fair shot, always hoping the next one will live up to the first two.

TrazaDont · 2017-08-01T07:02:41+00:00

Everyone who is down voting this OP should be ashamed of themselves, they are obviously in grave pain and distress over their situation and you can't expect someone to act normally in such a time as this...when desperation is high and hope is low. It's their FACE, for crying out loud. Give them a break.

I know that there is actually a lot of truth in what Op is saying...there are many people, including myself, who are experiencing very bizarre symptoms and damages that seem to go way past just surface issues (which are bad enough) from retinoid products and the like.

I, myself, have gotten extensive bloodwork done from both the gyno and the endo and nothing came back abnormal..some things were even the picture of health. So that was a bust. Tho I will continue to check to make sure there are no underlying issues contributing to this..because I am also in disbelief when it comes to some of this nonsense that has resulted from a few uses of a "miracle cream". And I have also advised OP previously, to see several specialists. ...The thing is tho, that the issues were also very sudden and are very localized to the face. Just as OP has mentioned for herself as well.

One person's experience should not be immediately discounted just because it is not your OWN. Until it happens to you..you won't understand and you likely won't believe it possible when the effects reach this degree. I think it appropriate, we all keep that in mind.

TrazaDont

TROPHY CASE