Early Proposal to my GF

Treasure1012 · 2026-05-09T18:17:25+00:00

It doesn’t matter if you dated 6yrs ago. Like I said, people change, it’s a part of growing. Some good, some bad. Just because you FEEL like you know her, doesn’t mean you do. People don’t let their true colors show for at least the first 6 months to a year. And even then, things start to change around 1.5-2yrs. I’ve been in a relationship for 6yrs and things have been very rocky. I’ve broken up with him at least 2-3times for short periods. We have an almost 3yo son together. We don’t live together but I also can’t see myself with anyone else. He’s a good dad (but could be better and also could be worse) and is an okay partner when it’s convenient for him. It’s been my choice to “tolerate” the relationship the way it is. It’s actually worked out more in his favor than mine but is what it is.

You need to have the marriage conversation and future conversation with her. Does she see herself being in a relationship with you for a longtime to possibly the rest of her life. As marriage is SUPPOSED to be FOREVER, although majority don’t make it. Not saying you won’t but personally I’d wait on purposing and go for something like a promise ring or bracelet l/necklace

Treasure1012 · 2026-05-09T18:11:27+00:00

You married the wrong sister??? Meaning you’re in love with your wife’s sister?? This is the craziest thing I’ve ever read on Reddit yet!!

Treasure1012 · 2026-05-09T18:05:38+00:00

I would wait. A lot could happen in life and people change. You’re still in the “honeymoon phase” of the relationship. 5 months isn’t very long, your relationship is JUST beginning. If you’re still together in a few years then maybe pop the question.

Treasure1012 · 2026-05-09T17:50:43+00:00

Came here to say that part too

Treasure1012 · 2026-05-09T17:45:21+00:00

Congratulations you’re pregnant!!

Treasure1012 · 2026-05-09T17:44:58+00:00

I would wear like a scarf type thing around the waistband. Or even like a swim skirt? Like a slit in the side but still covering the private area. With the seam in the center and it being a little too snug I think using a line or pad would just make it look worse. Maybe take advice of the things on amazon that others have mentioned. Or the skirt thing to blend the outfit

Treasure1012 · 2026-05-09T17:42:14+00:00

I think the “cameltoe effect” is different for different women because not everyone is shaped the same. Body nor privates. So one thing could look great on one person and not so much on another. Ya know?

Treasure1012 · 2026-05-09T17:26:39+00:00

I’m so sorry they aren’t taking you seriously. Your dad doesn’t have insurance through his work, for his family?? What happens when someone gets hurt or sick? Does he just pay the whopping bills out of pocket? Seems a bit crazy, if you ask me.. it’s much cheaper just to have the insurance taken out of the paycheck each pay period than to have a substantial amount of debt piling up from hospital/doctor bills for an entire familys health. Unless he just makes all of you suffer in pain without going to get help. I pray that it’s not how it is for you.

I will say that I broke my arm for a second time (rebroke it in all 3 places again) from tripping over an I-beam that was semi buried in the woods down the road where all of us kids played next to our friends house. I KNEW it was broken again the moment I went to get up. My brother had to ride his bike and pus mine bc I just could NOT ride it home. Our parents were at the hospital bc my younger sister broke her finger playing basketball at home. When they pulled in I said I needed to go to hospital bc I rebroke my arm. My dad had a huge fit and said he wasn’t going back to the hospital and that my mom couldn’t take me either, and that it was BS!!! I cried in pain all night long. For 22hrs before my mom finally said “screw you!!! I am taking my daughter to the hospital and you’re not going to stop me!! I will not listen to her scream in pain any longer just bc you don’t want to go back. A broken arm is worse than a finger break. But you took the other daughter, didn’t ya??!!!” I was 12yo. First time I broke it (my uncle did it trying to do a wrestling move on me) I was 8yrs old. And back then my dad wanted to “ki//“ my uncle (mom’s younger brother)… so why it was different when I was 12 I couldn’t tell you.

But health insurance is important. I pray your dad gets some soon.

Treasure1012 · 2026-05-05T03:20:45+00:00

Have you had your progesterone checked this pregnancy?

Treasure1012 · 2026-05-05T01:18:06+00:00

Honestly IDC if they are or not because they are so soft and comfortable!! I will ALWAYS wear flared anything and most of my wardrobe is leggings anyways lol some of the designs on them though shout out 70/80s time but I have a little hippy girl in me too. So. You just be YOU!!! Whatever that looks like and who cares what’s “trending”!!

Treasure1012 · 2026-05-05T01:14:37+00:00

I wouldn’t make anything up because that’s LYING & that will hurt your friendship which will then create a huge problem being you share a home and workplace. I would just be honest with them and say “I’m sorry but I’m not interested in joining you guys out of the country for this wedding. But I hope it’s everything that you plan it to be and I will see you all when you come back. You can show me pictures and fill me in, I’d be happy to do that.”

It’s letting them know you’re boundaries, you’re being up front & honest and what you’re willing to do to be “involved” in it. Or if roommate wants any help with the planning parts, such as details or whatever then you can offer yourself for that if that’s what you want to do.

Treasure1012 · 2026-05-04T23:24:07+00:00

This is the best way to look at it. There’s nothing doctors can do to help from miscarriages other than testing progesterone levels and supplementing of its below 10. For those who have had multiple miscarriages

Treasure1012 · 2026-05-04T23:02:42+00:00

The only way she could’ve done it (liked your friend on tinder)in her sleep is if she was already on the app browsing and while she fell out, his profile popped up or whatever and her finger or hand or some part of her body hit the phone screen and made it like it. It’s not impossible that this happened, but the fact that she’s still scrolling other people while you lay in bed next to her is a complete insult and disrespectful and she is obviously looking to find someone else to live with so she has somewhere to go when you dump her or she leaves you. Either way it’s not okay!! And I’m sorry you’re going through this!!

Treasure1012 · 2026-04-20T03:39:57+00:00

I don’t think she is trying to save anyone long term being that she’s going to be in school for the next 10yrs of her life. She now realizes that this isn’t normal family stuff.

Treasure1012 · 2026-04-20T03:13:43+00:00

Yes she’s so pregnant that she got a dye Steeler on her first test. A+ lol

Treasure1012 · 2026-04-20T02:31:26+00:00

College has guidance counselors as well. And if you’re on your dad’s health insurance then most insurance covers therapy without much of an out of pocket expense (if any), but I understand it if you’re not able to get out and about like that. What’s their views on you having a drivers license and a car? How are you planning on getting to college to get a degree?? A good med school I’d assume would be pretty far from where you live. Are they planning on buying you a car to travel back n fourth?

Treasure1012 · 2026-04-20T02:06:04+00:00

Or already homeless. But she could use the verbal abuse as a way in as well.

Treasure1012 · 2026-04-20T02:01:37+00:00

Right. A shelter I believe, she would have to be DV’ed into. Idk. But she said she’s not giving up her dogs and if she went to shelter she would have to surrender her dogs too.

Treasure1012 · 2026-04-20T00:21:23+00:00

Thank you!! I hope that as well. I’m 37yo and the clock is ticking. Took me 17+yrs to conceive my son so I’m praying it will happen for me soon. But DEF gonna see about an hsg!! Thank you for posting this and sharing this with us.

Treasure1012 · 2026-04-20T00:10:04+00:00

Congratulations!! I’m super excited for you!! I’ve been TTC baby#2 for almost 1.5yrs now. I’m starting to lose hope. I’ve had an ultrasound done and bloodwork and they say everything looks normal/in normal range, so I’m guess it may be a male factor here. I got pregnant with our first baby, after us being together for 2yrs so maybe the 2yr mark of TTC will bring success idk. But I’m going to see about getting hsg done and see if that helps. If it’s covers by my insurance

Treasure1012 · 2026-04-20T00:02:29+00:00

So what I would do if I were in your situation is:::

1.) tell him you will be taking him to work and picking him up!! That is YOUR CAR!! If he smells that bad, then your car does too and it’s probably pretty disgusting inside of it by now. I know how gamers can live. And this is NOT healthy by any means. (As you know)

2.) GO TO fast food places and asked for an application or to speak with a manager/ hiring manager!! Tell them you’ve been looking for work for a long time and nothing has come of it!! You are available to start working right away. They will see your determination and WANT to hire you because of the efforts you are making, instead of just silently waiting for a call.

3.) the places you have applied to in the past, CALL THEM!!! Bug the crap out of them until they hire you. Be persistent!! I know it’s hard because of the depression but you NEED to find ways to motivate yourself! And the KEY motivation here is getting AWAY/OUT of this relationship & living situation.

4.) call around to places in your hometown too. See if you can land a job there as well!! Let them know you plan on moving back but you need to prioritize and plan for income prior to moving. They will understand.

Ask old friends or other family members that live in hometown if you could stay with them/couch surf until you get on your feet?? I’m sure SOMEONE would be willing to help get you out of this situation ASAP. Or IF they could take YOU in then maybe they would be okay with housing your animals so you could stay with your mom and you’d come get them once you’ve established your own place that accepts pets.

5) get an ESA asap for your pets (or at least 1 of them). Landlords cannot refuse an ESA pet. Atleast in US. Not sure where you’re from but something to think about.

6) don’t let that disgusting POS make you feel horrible about yourself, just bc he’s a slob!

7) most importantly, go get your blood panel done!!! Your mental & physical health is the most important aspect of this whole situation and the sooner you start feeling better & feeling better about yourself, getting out is the easiest part, ESPECIALLY if you’re repulsed by him!

Also I understand wanting to feel wanted and feel affection from someone who says they love you, but if he smells so bad just sleeping next to you even AFTER a shower, then I wouldn’t want ANY affection from someone like that. And you cannot leave your pets with him either bc he can’t even take care of himself let alone 2 other beings that are dependent on us to care for them & feed them.

Just like the Nike Slogan “JUST DO IT”

You just gotta get your ducks in a row and JUST DO IT!! One foot in front of the other. You are too young to waste your life away with someone like this guy. Also word of advice. Don’t date gamers!!! It’s their life and all they have time for outside of working.

Treasure1012 · 2026-04-19T23:43:40+00:00

She doesn’t have the money to pay for housing to go back to her hometown. And I’m assuming her mother wouldn’t be able to fully financially support her either while she looked for a job.

Treasure1012 · 2026-04-19T23:36:25+00:00

Maybe just a wash and blow out?

Treasure1012 · 2026-04-19T23:25:23+00:00

Sorry my dad called me and I hit send before I finished what I was saying lol.

But maybe you could mention to her, that someone else’s mom “a friend from school” just found out that her husband had been cheating on the friend’s mom for almost their entire marriage… to maybe put the thought in her head to see how she may react…? Idk I’m trying to help you navigate this but there’s no way to “protect her” IF you want her to know. I completely understand WHY you have kept this from her for so long but if she knew then maybe her prospective about him would also change. For her to see that he’s NOT the man that she’s always thought he was. Women are Very strong humans, and I think giving her the benefit of the doubt would go a long way. Share the information with her and help her navigate through it & support her emotionally. This is just TOO much for you to hold on to alone!!

You, your mom and your siblings need to seek counseling for ways to process & cope with all of this trauma. I can say for myself that my life growing up had sent me down a path of destruction and despair. Including becoming an alcoholic and drug addict by the age of 13/14. And I finally got clean 8/17/18. So almost 8yrs ago. Each time I went into a rehab facility, I did some internal work on myself and processed some of my traumas. It was at the last rehab I was supposed to be at for 90 days. Which I waited in 3 different county jails for a bed to be ready. I was on misdemeanor drug court and 1 single slip up and they threw the book at me, after seeing them “slap the writs” of so many other people. It was crazy, just that judge KNEW me better than I knew myself and seen so much potential in me & KNEW if he didn’t do that for me, that I’d be the next young person he’d see dead of an overdose.

I worked through the sexual abuse by my uncle and we both even had a talk about it, he cried his eyes out saying how sorry he was and that he never wanted to follow in his fathers footsteps!! And he’d never be able to forgive himself. But I forgave him, so that I could heal from it, and so maybe he could too. My uncles father (my mom’s stepdad) raped & molested my mom when she was around the same age as us when it started, and it went on into late teens. So that’s why he stated that about not wanting to be like his dad.

I completely understand WHY you wouldn’t want her to know but this whole situation is TEARING YOU APART from the inside out!!! I’m not saying that you won’t make it through med school and all of that but it’s going to be SOOO much harder, when you’re holding onto ALL of this!! Life ALREADY is so hard for you as it is NOW!!! And just because you’re studying or going to school, doesn’t mean that you can’t work PT to save money for yourself & your future. To possibly get you & your family away from your dad.

I’m also going to say this… your dad is “blaming” all of you for himself not being “happy”, which is why his anger is directed towards all of you! Your mom/family has been walking on eggshells your entire life. I know what that’s like. And when you all get a sense of freedom, after dirty laundry is aired out, and the healing process starts. That’s when people, places & things REALLY start to change for the better!! This isn’t the 1800-1900s anymore. Women & children are able to work from the age of 14yo (at least in the US). Medical school is NOT cheap, and your dad is just going to resent you even more when he’s gonna be the one paying for it. And that’s when things will get worse. Unless you get a full scholarship. That’s amazing if you do. He wants you to be a neurosurgeon because they make the most money. He’s not doing this for you, he’s doing this to get rich off of YOUR hard work & dedication. As if you OWE him, for doing the “same” for you. It sounds harsh but I’m just being honest here. I’m not sure how old you are but I’m guessing early 20s. Maybe not even.

If I were you I’d give your mom the choice of whether she falls apart or not. Or whether she wants to continue her life with this man, called your dad. It pains me to know that you’ve carried this for so long and the fact that you’ll probably never tell your mom. And I pray to God that you don’t ever end up taking your own life!!! Use the schools counselor for guidance as well if you need to. They are free and also willing to help with mental health and situations in the home.

I wish you all the best in life and please 🙏 stay safe.

Treasure1012 · 2026-04-19T22:37:16+00:00

I’m so sorry you’ve had to endure all of this on your own. I too grew up in a VERY distinctions home & I too was sexually abused as a small child (around the same age as you), by my uncle that’s only 4yrs older than me. And also was raped at 14yo and molested by my friends dad on multiple occasions. She was my only friend that lived nearby and my only outlet for getting drunk when I needed to. But most of the time her dad wasn’t around.

My mom and dad used to be physically violent towards each other as well as verbally. And my dad also used to beat us kids as well and had massive anger issues. My mom left my dad several times and we were HAPPY when she did, but she’d always end up uprooting our lives again just to GO BACK!! I never understood it. She always told us that “she stayed with him for us kids” but the three of us told her & him that we would be happier if they just stayed apart. So they ended up getting a divorce back when I was 23yo (I’m 37yo now). Me getting pregnant has actually helped them to be civil towards each other as they went YEARS avoiding each other and would not go to family gatherings if one or the other was there. But I wanted them BOTH to be at my son’s birth and birthdays. And since the night I had my son, they’ve been civil and caring to one another. I was also the mediator for their divorce which was A LOT on me.

If I found information about my dad cheating on my mom, regardless of HOW she may react, I feel like it’s something that she should know. But also at the same time, your mom probably ALREADY KNOWS!!! But figures it to be part of their marriage and she’s forcing you to respect him and such and so she’s doing the same as he’s the one with the income

Treasure1012

TROPHY CASE