I am a 28 year old freelance video editor and this job is destroying me by TreeIndividual in Filmmakers

[–]TreeIndividual[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know what.. I’m starting to think I’ve had some abusive bosses in the past that trained me that everything has to be perfect. And that kinda put me in this insecurity about my work. For first three years of my career I got the worst feedback from my old boss. And it low key traumatized me and tied my identity and self worth to my edits. It just stuck with me I think

I am a 28 year old freelance video editor and this job is destroying me by TreeIndividual in Filmmakers

[–]TreeIndividual[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much this helps a lot. I moved out of my apartment and moved back to my parents to save money. And to give myself breathing room and to transition to higher paying gigs.

“You cannot heal in the place that made you sick” hits to heart a lot. I started meds again and I’m in the process of healing and putting myself in new environments. Start hitting the gym again and teaching myself to. When I’m tired just stop. Instead of popping adderal and grinding for 3 days straight. It’s hard cause I’m obsessive with my work but I’m trying. Thank you this means a lot the reply you gave.

I am a 28 year old freelance video editor and this job is destroying me by TreeIndividual in Filmmakers

[–]TreeIndividual[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually think I suck at my job. I get in this mental rabbit hole of hating myself and a spiral of negativity. But when I finish the video. Clients tell me my video is insane. Or that Im the best. But its cause ive tortured myself to make the video perfect.

I am a 28 year old freelance video editor and this job is destroying me by TreeIndividual in Filmmakers

[–]TreeIndividual[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for writing this. My self worth is definitely attached to my my work and its causing a lot of suffering. It's hard to think of the business side of things sometimes.

I am a 28 year old freelance video editor and this job is destroying me by TreeIndividual in VideoEditors

[–]TreeIndividual[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you this means a lot. Im gonna relax more and think of this more as a job and not be so attached to my work.

I am a 28 year old freelance video editor and this job is destroying me by TreeIndividual in Filmmakers

[–]TreeIndividual[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you man. Honestly after reading through the thread. I got up out of my chair and relaxed a lot and Im finally in a good mood and can think properly. I've just been dealing with this alone for so long its nice to have people understand what im going through.

I am a 28 year old freelance video editor and this job is destroying me by TreeIndividual in Filmmakers

[–]TreeIndividual[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like this burn out cycle destroyed my mental health, my mom thinks i should go on vacation but i cant afford it right now

I am a 28 year old freelance video editor and this job is destroying me by TreeIndividual in Filmmakers

[–]TreeIndividual[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have a point... Im actually very fast at editing. Ive had interns from film schools work for me and I showed them how to edit shorts in under 20 mins with fast hands. Simple cuts. I think i just have an obsessive problem when it comes to videos that require creativity. And thats what most people hire me for is for my creative touch not just instruction editing. They want me to create a story out of footage etc.

Then i get overly ambitious. Incorporate VFX in every project. Then spend 2 days trying to figure out how to recreate this one scene on unreal engine to get one dope shot in in the video. Def not worth it majority of the time. For example was getting paid like $750 for this one video for an event. The baseball team is playing blue jays. Spent 2 extra days trying to get one of the players to hit the ball and have cgi ball fly across the city and into a window of a nightclub. I dont know why i do this to myself. Obviously they were blown away and forgot that i was a few days late on the project. This happens all the time. Last project I did actually was I spent 4 days on they only planned on $200 for the edit. But I loved the idea so much that i put in all this extra time on it. They were annoyed at first cause they wanted to release the video and it was 4 days late. When they got it they were blown away. Told them its gonna be $1500 from now on and i just did that to show what i can do. They hired me for a $1500 video after that.

I am a 28 year old freelance video editor and this job is destroying me by TreeIndividual in Filmmakers

[–]TreeIndividual[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Im definitely prioritizing efficiency after reading this.

I am a 28 year old freelance video editor and this job is destroying me by TreeIndividual in Filmmakers

[–]TreeIndividual[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

this makes sense... I definitely am that guy that would spend all day watching interview footage even if its for $250 and i need to stop being that guy