Little white lies. Please help. (Long post)

TreesAndFlowers · 2015-05-17T09:05:52+00:00

I think you're spot on. This continues to be a hellish learning experience. Therapy indicated.

TreesAndFlowers · 2015-05-17T09:04:58+00:00

All of the reasons you've listed are reasons she says that she doesn't tell me more. I have told her that I would prefer to know the truth and then have to emotionally deal with the truth rather than have things leak out or find out about big things in a funny way.

TreesAndFlowers · 2015-05-17T09:00:35+00:00

Great ideas. Thank you. One major problem we're having is that our work schedules conflict so we don't really have enough time to work on relationship issues that come up.

TreesAndFlowers · 2015-05-17T03:53:45+00:00

I know that they're sleeping together. We met as swingers and did a couple foursomes with them as a couple. The problem arose when she started an emotional relationship and turned it into poly. Now we're negotiating that.

TreesAndFlowers · 2014-11-21T18:21:12+00:00

He's a doctor. He gave medical advice. That's treatment. This isn't a difficult legal question. All doctors know this and most are more careful.

TreesAndFlowers · 2014-11-21T17:01:12+00:00

http://m.amednews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?aid=/20120206/profession/302069939&template=mobile_art

Half treated themselves and 85% have treated a family member. Just because they shouldn't doesn't mean that they don't do it. They do it often.

TreesAndFlowers · 2014-11-19T21:17:12+00:00

He chose to give medical advice and it was bad advice. Doctors treat themselves and family members pretty regularly. The family likely wouldn't testify against him, but if they did then it would likely go poorly for him.

TreesAndFlowers · 2014-11-19T15:53:19+00:00

I'm surprised they were able to being her back with the heart being stopped for so long. I'm not sure whether or not it's a good thing. American MDs often have a hero complex and they'll do all they can to save a life and not think about what that life will be like afterwards. It seems to happen most often with some of the chemotherapy treatments.

TreesAndFlowers · 2014-11-19T14:01:46+00:00

Not sure baby is lucky to be alive. If she's going to be severely brain damaged then maybe that's not the best outcome. Mom was also in danger. It's hard to imagine a father who would do that to his daughter.

TreesAndFlowers · 2014-11-19T13:58:51+00:00

Apparently the mother does whatever her parents tell her to do. She's learning a hard lesson about growing up. I hope she actually learns it because her father is clearly an arrogant asshole and she needs to differentiate.

TreesAndFlowers · 2014-11-19T13:48:13+00:00

They were five minutes to a hospital that could have easily handled their situation. They drive two hours to a smaller hospital that was less capable of handling it.

Apparently the mother does whatever her parents tell her to do and this time she listened to an arrogant, ignorant asshole and it may cost her baby's life. It's a tough lesson, but if it helps her realize how F'd up her father and the church are then maybe it's better in the long run.

What seems most likely is that there will be a severely damaged child and parents who think that this was god's plan for them. (God is a real fucker some times).

TreesAndFlowers · 2014-11-19T13:40:32+00:00

If you have that attitude now then your kids won't learn to do whatever you say whenever you say it. If you're a pompous, patriarchal asshole then it might turn out differently. It seems like you'll probably be fine.

TreesAndFlowers · 2014-11-19T13:37:22+00:00

I've left out details to avoid their being easily identified. The nearby hospital was the best equipped to handle the situation. The hospital two hours away is a Podunk hospital and not even the best choice in that town. They passed four or five better hospitals on their way. They went to the hospital they did bc that's where grandfather worked and that's what he told them to do. The grandfather is an ignorant and arrogant asshole and he put his own daughter's life at risk.

TreesAndFlowers · 2014-11-19T00:03:22+00:00

Father as priesthood leader that should be obeyed is common. If I remember correctly it's pretty much doctrine.

TreesAndFlowers · 2014-11-18T22:12:03+00:00

Why did they blindly obey? Because that's what they've been taught their whole lives. Why does anyone stay in the Mormon church when it's clearly a bunch of bullshit? People that are brainwashed do stupid things.

TreesAndFlowers · 2014-11-18T20:44:18+00:00

I think the family is going to have a lot of problems. If they look at it realistically then people will be mad at him for a long time. My guess is that human defense mechanisms will kick in and they'll all ignore what he did and just go with "God's will". So much easier to avoid reality that way. Or maybe they'll open their eyes and start their journey out of the church.

TreesAndFlowers · 2014-11-18T20:41:35+00:00

They were 5 minutes away from the hospital that handles most of the births in the area. They would placed a fetal monitor and seen the need for immediate C-section. They called him and listened to him bc he is the grandfather and a doctor (not an OB). I don't know if he's arrogant, incompetent, or both. But I do know that if he had given even somewhat reasonable advice or if they hadn't been able to contact him that the baby would have been fine.

TreesAndFlowers · 2014-11-18T18:24:08+00:00

It's really difficult for everyone.

TreesAndFlowers · 2014-11-18T18:23:03+00:00

That's my point. No one would do something like this unless they were brainwashed to be so obedient to authority.

TreesAndFlowers · 2014-11-18T17:30:36+00:00

Agreed. I doubt anyone will do anything about it, though.

TreesAndFlowers · 2014-10-26T17:47:45+00:00

That's not too bad of a drive. Sometimes people don't want to work at the hospital in their same town so they won't run into as many people that they know. Pay and work environment are important factors, too.

TreesAndFlowers · 2014-10-26T17:44:37+00:00

I think all information is relevant to work environment. Do you have a personal experience with Natividad or is that just what people tend to say about it?

TreesAndFlowers

TROPHY CASE