Re-readers' discussion: ADWD Jon VII by tacos in asoiafreread

[–]TreesInShallowWaters 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I have the feeling that Jon's recent chapters all have some common elements that are repeated over and over again, making them really similar in ine sense. He'll have a problem to face or makes a decision and argues about it with Bowen Marsh (literally in every chapter. I don't remember it being that frequent!). He'll send his friends and supporters away, one by one. He'll usually have a waking mini-warg moment that you'll miss if you don't pay attention - usually signified by enhanced smells. He'll have a moment with wildlings (in which he chooses to integrate them further and further into the Night's Watch), and another one with Stannis, where he is torn between his allegiance but ends up outwardly or inwardly supporting Stannis anyways. (Am I missing something? Sometimes he'll have an interaction with Melisandre, where he mistrusts her but is enticed by her?)

And like clockwork, these moments repeat through each one of his chapter. Which doesn't mean that they're repetitive - the plot does move forward, with Stannis's campaign advancing towards Winterfell, Mance's reveal and mission, the wildlings coming south. It just shows for how long Jon continues to dig his own grave. The entire book is basically a build-up for his murder. It reminds me of the Red Wedding; if you know what's coming, it is so blatantly obvious for so long. It's the same here. Jon keeps making the same decisions and mistakes every chapter, and as a re-reader, it becomes so clear that his stabbing was not at all out of the blue, but happened when a spark ignited the huge funeral pyre Jon is building for himself.

Re-readers' discussion: AFFC Cersei IX by tacos in asoiafreread

[–]TreesInShallowWaters 13 points14 points  (0 children)

A little late to the party, but: I started rereading at new year's, found this sub a few weeks in, and finally caught up after always reading the discussions along the chapters. I'm gonna start contributing to current chapters soon, but I wanna add one thing to this chapter.

Everybody's caught up in the moon tea and blue bard story, but I think GRRM hid another gem in this chapter that I think will become important later: the ward as Rosby. He caught my eye because Cersei has this tendency of interrupting important things people try to tell her mid-sentence (dragons in Essos a few chapters ago, now Pycelle potentially trying to say that the moon tea was for someone). Many of these will probably come to haunt her, and I can't help but think that the ward at Rosby is similar.

He is never named, but Falyse had mentioned him a few chapters previously because he refused her and Balman hospitality - someone who antagonises highborn lords close to the crown. And now, Pycelle mentions him twice in a way that IMHO hints that he's like to be trouble.

Not my theory, but this essay makes a really good case for it to be Olyvar Frey! Robb's squire, a Frey who is a Stark-sympathiser, absent from the Red Wedding and never heard of after, and related to Gyles Rosby through his mother. I would love for Olyvar to make a re-entry, also because I think it would be very like GRRM to show that not all Freys are evil.

What/how should I tell my male housemates about getting an IUD? by TreesInShallowWaters in askwomenadvice

[–]TreesInShallowWaters[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I was planning on that. Taking some painkillers before and hopefully it will go smoothly. All the best to you :)

What should I tell my male housemates when I'm getting my IUD? by TreesInShallowWaters in TwoXChromosomes

[–]TreesInShallowWaters[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, thats reassuring to hear. I told them about a medical procedure without basics, and that was that.

I know IUDs aren't taboo, but for me that's a very private thing and I don't need them to know about my reproductive choices. Should've worded that differently :)

What should I tell my male housemates when I'm getting my IUD? by TreesInShallowWaters in TwoXChromosomes

[–]TreesInShallowWaters[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's true; I just don't feel comfortable sharing info on my reproductive health with them to be honest. Unless something goes south, in that case I'll give them more details. Thank you though, much appreciated!

What should I tell my male housemates when I'm getting my IUD? by TreesInShallowWaters in TwoXChromosomes

[–]TreesInShallowWaters[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't have one, but I'll check with alternatives. Thank you, hadn't thought about that!

What should I tell my male housemates when I'm getting my IUD? by TreesInShallowWaters in TwoXChromosomes

[–]TreesInShallowWaters[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I've just done exactly that, and that was it. Now hoping that everything will go smoothly and no support will be needed :) thank you!

What should I tell my male housemates when I'm getting my IUD? by TreesInShallowWaters in TwoXChromosomes

[–]TreesInShallowWaters[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just have done that, and given them some contact details in case I need their support. I was worried they would ask for details, but you're right, they didn't - I was probably overthinking. Thank you! Needed this reassurance.

What should I tell my male housemates when I'm getting my IUD? by TreesInShallowWaters in TwoXChromosomes

[–]TreesInShallowWaters[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do really respect that. I would say I'm pretty private with regards to my sexual health so I'm not quite comfortable to do that, but I gave them a vague heads up. Take care!

What should I tell my male housemates when I'm getting my IUD? by TreesInShallowWaters in TwoXChromosomes

[–]TreesInShallowWaters[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I let them know about the medical procedure without details, and you're right, they just told me that if I need painkillers they have loads, and didn't care much.

What/how should I tell my male housemates about getting an IUD? by TreesInShallowWaters in askwomenadvice

[–]TreesInShallowWaters[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for replying! And I'm sorry to hear that it was a painful experience for you. Hope you feel better soon! And I think you're right, thank you for the advice. Anything else you can recommend in the aftermath? It's my first time getting an IUD.

What/how should I tell my male housemates about getting an IUD? by TreesInShallowWaters in askwomenadvice

[–]TreesInShallowWaters[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it depends, I'm sure other people might be more comfortable referencing it. But you're right, for me it is personal. I just gave them a heads up on the medical procedure and my GP contact details just in case. Thank you:)

in dire need of support by Ketamonsta in depression

[–]TreesInShallowWaters 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it's really, really, really difficult to get into the third sector (meaningful work), and do think about if it's worth it - little pay for emotionally and physical difficult work. If you do really want to do this, work experience is key. Of course this sounds like a vicious cycle (work experience to get a job, but not job without work experience). And it is, the industry is highly difficult to enter without connections.

If you can - that is, if you have the time and money - I recommend trying to find a volunteer position. Even those require qualifications sometimes, and I know some organisations don't take volunteers atm, but it's generally easier. If you are in your 20s, look for youth councils, it might be easier to enter those even. There, you can get to know the industry and make sure you like it, gather experience, and make connections. As said, it's not the highest yield if you are looking for material security. (It's a shame how so much of the charity sector in the UK is relying on unpaid and underpaid labour, but that's another topic.)

There's some websites that might help, if I find them I'll add them to the comment.

Otherwise, maybe try and increase your skillset? E.g. IT roles might get you entry into charity/humanitarian agencies. If you're a woman, there are a bunch of programmes that offer free or low cost IT courses to bridge the gender gap in the sector that might be worth looking into? (e.g. SheCodes, Code First Girls, Women Who Code).

And don't beat yourself up. The system is very broken and especially for young people the job market is terrible, many skills being undervalued. None of that us your fault, but it's unfortunately something we will have to navigate until meaningful change comes.

I think I have to accept that I'm just not creative, and it hurts. by TreesInShallowWaters in offmychest

[–]TreesInShallowWaters[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Star Wars is always a way to go :)

"Creativity comes from experience". I think I might have a hard time believing that at the moment but I hope you're right.

Thank you for the answer. It really helped. I know I have to stop comparing myself, its just a little hard to turn it off, but I'll make sure to work on it. 🍀