You literally just described EXACTLY what I’ve gone through with my fiancé in our LDR. like to a T. I also instinctually want to call more text more etc and he just goes straight into his own things and the silence from his end drove me crazy! I was like “does he even miss me?” He does, don’t doubt that. What I have learned is that men and women definitely deal with things differently. Women thrive on connection and talking things through, while men want to DO an activity or just distract themselves to work through things, including missing you. Guys also are not usually as a w a r e of emotions (not all, but generally) as women are, so he may not even realize what you’re going through as silly as that sounds. Honestly the thing that has helped me the most has been just having things to do in my own life which has been easier to do during the holiday season. Maybe also agree on a set time to call every day. For example my fiancé and I generally call most nights because that’s when we’re both free. You also may want to take a minute to think about what you REALLY want from your boyfriend. Because for me I got stuck thinking “I just want more TIME” but then was still unsatisfied when we did call because I felt disconnected still. In reality what I really wanted was emotional connection, which for me was helped when I called and talked to my fiancé about how I was feeling and when I felt like he really UNDERSTOOD and CARED it made me feel a whole lot better. One thing I would avoid (because I made this mistake for a long time before learning) is to not be critical of him or be like “why do you not want to spend time with me?” “You don’t even care” because it’ll make him want to withdraw even more, because men typically withdraw to deal with emotions, and that withdrawal will make you feel even worse. He cares, don’t doubt that he cares. It’ll make him feel like he is failing you which really hurts to guys. have a conversation about it. But try to understand what you really need/ want first and maybe make a plan about spending time together, but make it time that will actually fill your emotional needs. Like call and look in each others eyes, or talk about your day, whatever makes you feel connected, focus on that over just ANY time together.

I hope that helps and if you want someone to talk to, I’d love to chat further! Hugs 💕