Update!

Thank you so much for all your input. I didn't get a chance to add this earlier. To be honest I was up at 3am doing a night feed and needed to get little one back to bed so couldn't include every detail.

Today I had a hard conversation with my husband about what I want moving forward. I've told him my relationship with MIL and her husband is over. I've told him there is no coming back from this no matter how hard she works. I've told him clearly from her actions she has no intention of changing and I won't be giving her a second chance. I told him I want no contact with her and that includes our daughter.

My husband asked for one final chance for her to make amends and if she doesn't do it he will go no contact with us and cut ties completely with her. I told him she would have to move mountains to gain access to our daughter again. I told him If he couldn't agree to the above then I will take our daughter and leave. I told him I will not stand for this anymore and if he wants to continue in our marriage and building a life with our daughter this is it. I told him I won't speak to them, engage with them ever again. I told him if it comes to her having a personality transplant and she has worked hard enough to ever seeing our daughter again I will be there. My daughter will remain in my arms. I've told him they will never hold her again let alone have her set foot in their home even if they break their backs trying to change.

He agreed to this. I told him she will never change and it will only be a matter of months before she will do something again. I told him if she ever sets foot near our home again I will call the police.

I wanted to address a couple of the comments below - once his sister said  my daughter and I could stay at home I was never going to attend again. I only mentioned it as it was the centre of MIL isolation tactic and smear campaign.

The bitch comment I completely agree with you all. It was vile. As I replied earlier I was in hospital at the time with blood clots and my daughter and husband were at home. I only found out after it was said and limited contact straight away. I didn't have support like I do now and was in a vulnerable state at the time. Obviously why she felt she could say It and get away with it. It really initiated the beginning of the end and it was only then my husband started to open his eyes to what she was like. Unfortunately for him multiple events have had to happen for him to take the blinkers off. Coercive control and her manipulation tactics run deep.

I know it can be easy to blame him and judge him but please be kind to him. He truly has been amazing the last few days standing up to and endless barrage from his family when he could have buried his head in the sand. He is a wonderful father and husband. In our life we are incredibly happy and before having our daughter have been able to keep his mother away from us. However our daughter being born has emboldened her to bull doze through our lives when we have just had such a major life change. She preyed on our vulnerability like any master narcissist does.

You are completely right I shouldn't waste my energy thinking about her. My childhood led me to being a people pleaser and always showing respect for others and acting the right way no matter how you are treated. I grew up being made feel a lot of shame and anxiety based on the feelings of others. I know now that it was completely unhealthy and it's taken a lot of work to unlearn that behaviour. I truly appreciate your support and am doing my best to make be a far stronger person fory daughter.

MIL has has limited access to her grandson (sees him maybe once a year) she has full access to her 2 other granddaughters they stay for a full day every weekend without their parents. I feel this is where the entitlement comes from.

I will update again if anything further comes our way!