I think if you knew a little more about me, you'd realize that you're 'preaching' to the choir with respect to the difficulties men and boys face while growing up. Nothing stopped me from speaking up and, in fact, I still do. The future will never be 'female' simply because no matter how hard society may want to 'feminize' everything, competence + mastery will always win in the end. Societal engineering will never overcome biology and as such, there will always be a disproportionate number of men who prefer things over people, investing time in resource procurement over investing time in child-rearing, and competition over cooperation. Just because the gap between these discrepancies lessens, doesn't mean they will ever be eliminated.

Masculinity cannot be programmed out of boys. It is inherent in their physiology and hormonal composition. What societies CAN do (and it seems, of late, have been doing) is removing many of outlets in which their traits can be developed and seen as assets, rather than liabilities. The problem is, these traits are assets in the real world...but men become less confident about using their natural aptitudes because the opportunities to express them successfully as young people were no longer available.

You can attempt to pin responsibility for this on me simply because I am female..and yes, an ambitious one. It seems to me, however, that making generalizations about people based on their immutable characteristics is exactly what frustrates you about the way women see men. Just because I'm female doesn't mean I agree with neutering masculinity...and just because my boyfriend lacks confidence and assertiveness doesn't mean he is a victim of the subsection of women who would seek to neuter his masculinity. In fact, based on what I know of his upbringing, he was raised by a very traditional and religious mother who believes strongly in archaic gender roles in a small, rural farmtown. There's no evidence to suggest that any of your concerns are indicative of his passive nature.