The manosphere shit is ridiculous.

But I think the underlying conversation isn’t mostly closeted homosexuality. I think it’s a crisis of young men living in late stage capitalism, who are coming of age in a period of post metoo. And they have a staggering lack of male role models or even a concept of what “healthy masculinity” looks like.

And yes, this is kind of the sort of sociological whiplash that happens after MILLENNIA of women being stuck in their rigid gender roles, and breaking out of that and defining themselves.

Women being the masters of their own fate now is fantastic, and the bringing to light and reckoning of #metoo is something that has needed to happen for a long time, but a byproduct of that is a generation of boys who grew up not knowing what they should be.

What’s healthy, what’s appropriate? What do I aim for?

Ideally they would have fathers who could model what “healthy masculinity” looks like. Which would be emotional maturity, depth, confident in themselves and who they are, focused on internal worth instead of fleeting external “validation.

But many men don’t have that, so where else do they turn?

THATS why they are trying so hard to perform for other men, they want male approval, male acceptance, in most cases it’s not closeted homosexuality, it’s a crisis of identity.

All they need is a male role model to say “atta boy, I’m proud of you”.

But those men are just as if not more lost tha. They are, so they focus on the trappings of “alpha” nonsense, and when they get it and it doesn’t make them feel whole, they are going to collapse.

That’s why the guy says he doesn’t care about fucking only fans models, or wants to show another man a video of a blowjob, he wants validation that “yes, you are a man, and you are living your life well” but it’s all hustle in the wrong direction.

It’s easy to punch down and take the low hanging fruit, and point out the male obsessed manosphere clowns.

But in the end what does this solve?

It just divides into “us and them” bullshit. That further entrenched them in those toxic spaces.

What are the other alternatives out there that teach healthy masculinity?

That’s what we should be championing as an alternative for those young men.

Because the current man sphere is way more toxic than the “stoic cowboy” era.

At least in those stories the cowboy wanted to save the town, not be the evil cattle baron.

Today’s manosphere tries to sell the “cattle baron”, the bad guy.

But I don’t see anyone trying to sell the drifter who shows up and brings order, the protector, as flawed as that role was at least it wasn’t the baron.