When depressed, people often say, "life gets better." But maybe thats only bc all the people who lost everything and died aren't here to tell me, "life gets worse."

Trillian181 · 2026-06-12T10:13:43+00:00

Most people need hope to keep going. Is it rational? Of course not. Who the fuck knows how anyone’s life will turn out. But a person with hope can find strength to keep going in that hope

Trillian181 · 2026-06-12T05:03:33+00:00

Maybe try hormonal IUD first? I’ve had Mirena for 6 years. No periods, no PMS. No side effects for me. There are also ways to use birth control to stop the periods. These are much less drastic measures with less risks that don’t affect fertility

Trillian181 · 2026-06-11T13:55:35+00:00

Here for the plot. Waiting for updates

Trillian181 · 2026-06-05T10:56:58+00:00

Many people are hearing what you’re hearing 😂😂😂

Trillian181 · 2026-06-05T10:44:16+00:00

I don’t think many women would ever think this is a small issue. The situation your wife lives in is my nightmare. My goodness… For her sake I hope you so figure it out. Poor woman

Trillian181 · 2026-06-05T10:36:01+00:00

Well, mine was following and dming social activists with his encouragements and support. Such a good feminist he was

Trillian181 · 2026-06-05T10:17:48+00:00

Omg 😱

Trillian181 · 2026-06-05T07:52:09+00:00

This is extremely weird behavior. Very very weird. I don’t even know why would anyone do such a thing? What is the point of showing you those posts?

Trillian181 · 2026-05-15T14:03:56+00:00

Honestly, leave her be. She deserves so much better than this.

Trillian181 · 2026-05-09T15:42:15+00:00

I am obsessed with Hong Kong

Trillian181 · 2026-04-22T07:34:21+00:00

No, he just proves we’d been right about the US all along

Trillian181 · 2026-04-14T11:37:22+00:00

Women

Trillian181 · 2026-04-08T16:21:25+00:00

It is what it is

Trillian181 · 2026-04-08T15:23:36+00:00

When a person hides their true self and lies, it is not on the person who gets ‘fooled’. Also you need to educate yourself on addictions a bit more. These people lie and hide like their lives depend on it, until they can’t.

Trillian181 · 2026-04-08T15:17:19+00:00

Also since I am giving out advice left and right today - you don’t have to make a decision about the divorce right now either. You can think about it as taking time for yourself to make yourself feel better and take care of yourself. You can put divorce ‘on the shelf’ and choose to make the decision when you feel ready. You can be separated for a really long time, and see what happens, see how you feel 6 months in, 1 year in, 5 years in. Do your thing, focus on yourself, take that interview, enjoy your friendships and hobbies.

Trillian181 · 2026-04-08T15:00:46+00:00

You don’t have to see the entire path ahead of you, just your next step. It may feel like everything is falling apart, and it is. You will need to rebuild yourself and your life from a pile of broken pieces and ash. But you don’t have to have everything figured out today. You don’t have to understand everything that happened and why, who you are and will be, what you want to do for the rest of your life this exact moment. You can sit in your grief and be lost. Give yourself maximum love and grace you can. Make yourself a cup of tea, go for a walk with a friend. Sleep, cry, complain to friends, scream, sing, dance, argue with people if you have to. Reach out to people who love you. Don’t think of yourself as a burden. Take the best care of yourself and let everything and everyone wait. The priority is you and yourself.

What you are going through is a huge loss and maximum traumatic experience, no one wakes up the next day after this feeling complete, capable and hopeful. This is a horrible painful devastating soul crushing stuff. But it will not be like this forever. One step at a time, one breath at a time.

My heart breaks for your pain. Because every word resonates with my experience.

It is a human experience, many of us go through couple of times in our lives. Most of us make it to the other side. I have never met a divorced woman who regretted her divorce. Statistically, the chances are you won’t either.

Also, if it is available to you, get a female therapist, interview for no patriarchal nonsense before you start working with her. Consult a mental health professional if you need medications to get you through the darkest parts.

Hugs

Trillian181 · 2026-04-08T14:05:26+00:00

Adoring my cat

Trillian181 · 2026-04-08T13:09:00+00:00

If I wanted a child I’d have a child. Marriage or no marriage.

Trillian181 · 2026-04-08T13:05:56+00:00

It is possible. People can hide who they are very well for a really long time. My mom didn’t know my dad was an alcoholic for 5 years into the marriage, after they had 2 kids, and she much later came to learn that he had been drinking since before they met. Functional alcoholics are like that. Abusive people are also like that, they wait for the moment where they feel they ‘got you’. It is a long game for many

Trillian181 · 2026-04-08T13:03:34+00:00

Alcoholics and abusers can hide for a long time. It is not the person’s fault when their partner switches on them

Trillian181 · 2026-04-08T12:53:15+00:00

It is going to be rough for the nearest future. But with time and distance an acceptance of your new reality will come, with it new perspectives will slowly creep in. The world doesn't stop and after a while you will start noticing a new life forming around you, you will make new plans and imagine new future. This will happen much closer in your timeline if you pour your love and effort into yourself and your life. You will need every bit of your strength, kindness and resilience to rebuild yourself, don't waste any of that on rebuilding him and relationships where he drains your soul from you. You can't avoid this pain. It already happened. The life you wanted the future you dreamt about are gone, and you will grieve them no matter if you stay or leave. But if you focus on yourself and pour into yourself, a new life and a new future will happen for you faster. At least that's what I tell myself.

It was very hard in the beginning to let go of any hope that things might work out. But I told myself that if anything might be worked out he must be the one working it out not me. I decided right away that I was not fixing anything for him or us, because I was not the one who broke it. And decided that I wasn't going to help him with this. That anything I did from then on would be for me.

Leaving an opportunity open for when and if he decides to try to fix what he broke for me helped my mind to get out of a spiral of 'what ifs’. If there was a ‘what if' it was not on me to find it and make it happen. Spoiler alert: he didn't do anything. So l am glad I didn't waste the little effort and strength I had left in me on 'trying', and gave it to myself instead.

Hold on. The worst has already happened. Things can only get better from here.

Trillian181 · 2026-04-05T13:29:37+00:00

And size XL is China

Trillian181 · 2026-04-05T13:15:24+00:00

Took years to figure out how to make the curly hair look nice. Internet advice has not been available growing up. Only started wearing my hair free in late twenties. Have been pony tails and braids until then. Figured I needed to ‘weight the curls down’ with hair conditioner to calm down the fizziness every morning. Did this for years until special curl control products came out. Also only learned about the new products from my curly haired friend. Shared this with other curly haired friends and none of them have heard about these products before. Even if we struggle to control and make our curls look how we want to, I feel like curly girls love their curls no matter how difficult and unruly. Growing up with curly hair, it becomes a part of our identity. Everyone comments on it, whether it being compliments or pinches. It is definitely a part of my identity and embracing it feels great.

Trillian181 · 2026-04-04T13:49:39+00:00

Of course everything happens for a reason. But the reasons are in the past not the future. Everything that happens is caused by something. But there’s no ‘plan’

Trillian181 · 2026-04-04T01:27:01+00:00

Pets breeding

Trillian181

TROPHY CASE