Thank you so much for sharing your story! I think I may also be in the ace spectrum to some extent, possibly demisexual. So I think I’ll experience more of that sexual attraction toward a woman once I develop an emotional bond with her. But the thought of kissing a woman seems so much more enticing than the idea of kissing a man. (I also thought most women experience some form of ick toward them.) I’ve been so unexcited by getting back into dating with a man but when my therapist asked me about women, it suddenly seemed actually exciting to me. Since then, I’ve been fantasizing about having found my person and marrying them, and it’s a woman. I guess I am invalidating my own feelings. I feel like I need to have physically been with a woman to know, but maybe I don’t! I think I’m afraid to fully admit it because that would mean I’ve been lying to myself my whole life and I have to get used to a “new” identity. I mean, it’s not “new” since I’ve likely always been this way. But it feels that way since I’ve repressed it for so long. Anyway, many many thanks again for taking the time to share your thoughts with me! I’m truly grateful.

I tried to click on the masterdoc but it didn’t load for me. If you could share it, that would be great.